Debra

Jun 18 · Posted

50 and I had a hysterectomy with oophorectomy in March and I genuinely did not know what I was walking into. Nobody warned me that menopause wouldn't ease in gradually. It just... arrived. Like overnight. The hot flashes started in the hospital recovery room. I am not exaggerating. Everybody I talk to outside of spaces like this has a menopause story that goes "oh I started noticing things around 51, 52..." and I'm sitting there nodding along but my experience has nothing to do with that. There was a before and there was an after and the line between them was a surgery date. I have an appointment with a specialist next month and I've been putting together questions because I do not want to walk in there and forget everything the second she starts talking. Stuff like: what do I need to tell her about the timeline, does it matter that symptoms started so fast, what's different about my situation versus someone going through this naturally. I keep adding things to the list on my phone at 3am when I can't sleep, which is honestly when I do my best anxious admin. Food has been weird too. My appetite was off for weeks post-surgery and I'm only now getting back to eating real meals. Soft, easy things. Eggs a lot. Soup. Whatever doesn't feel like a project. Anyone else had to basically build a whole new reference point because the standard timeline just doesn't apply to you?

Jun 16 · Posted

Nobody told me surgical menopause was just... overnight. Like a switch. I don't fit any of the timelines I keep reading about and it's isolating.

Jun 16 · Posted

Okay so I had a hysterectomy at 47 and I keep running into this wall where everything written about menopause assumes a slow build. Perimenopause symptoms for years, gradual shift, time to adjust. That is not my story and honestly reading those timelines sometimes makes me feel like I missed something or did it wrong somehow. Mine was a light switch. Surgery Tuesday, menopause Wednesday. Hot flashes started in the hospital. I did not even fully understand what was happening to my body because I was still in recovery mode, still figuring out the incision, still on pain meds. The menopause conversation felt like it got stapled to the discharge paperwork and that was sort of it. I have an appointment with a new specialist next month and I am actually building a written timeline this time. Surgery date, first symptoms, how intense, what changed and when. I figure if I walk in with paper in hand it is harder to get the fifteen minute brush-off. Also on a completely different note: does anyone have thoughts on eating when your appetite is just gone? Not nausea exactly, more like my body forgot it needed food. I have been doing broths and soft scrambled eggs and it helps but I feel like I am feeding a sick child, not a grown adult woman who used to love cooking.

Jun 15 · Posted

Okay so I had my surgery in March and nobody prepared me for the fact that menopause would just... arrive. Like, overnight. I didn't get a slow build, no gradual changes, no years of perimenopause to adjust. I went to sleep one person and woke up someone who sweats through her sheets and cries at dog food commercials. And now every time I try to find info or connect with other women it's all about the slow fade into menopause and I'm sitting here like... that is not my story at all. I went from zero to full menopause in about 48 hours. It's disorienting in a way I don't have good words for yet. I have a specialist follow-up in two weeks and I've been writing down questions because I know I'll blank the second I sit down in that office. Mostly around what to expect given my specific surgery timeline, whether certain symptoms are normal at this stage of recovery, stuff like that. If anyone has navigated a post-surgical follow-up and has questions they wish they'd asked, I would genuinely love to hear them. Also on a completely different note, my appetite has been so weird since surgery. Everything sounds like too much. The only things that have felt okay are soft scrambled eggs and soup. Just noting that in case anyone else is in early recovery and wondering if that's normal.

Jun 14 · Replied

Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Samantha. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 14 · Posted

Okay so I keep trying to explain this to people and nobody gets it. My surgery was August 14th. Hot flashes started August 15th. Like, I went to sleep one person and woke up someone else entirely. There was no perimenopause, no gradual anything, no time to adjust. Just. Gone. And every article I read, every podcast, all of it talks about "the transition" like it's this slow drift. I didn't drift anywhere. I got dropped. I have a follow-up with my specialist next week and I've been writing out a timeline, basically a document with dates, because I realized I kept saying "it started a few weeks after" when actually I can tell her exactly when. August 15th. I have it in my phone. I think having the actual dates matters more than I thought it would. Also someone here mentioned eating enough protein when appetite is off and I have been doing soft scrambled eggs and Greek yogurt because I genuinely cannot face much else right now and weirdly that has felt manageable. Anyone else feel like surgical menopause is almost a different category that just gets lumped in with everything else?

Jun 14 · Posted

Okay I need to put this somewhere. I had a bilateral oophorectomy fourteen months ago and I am so tired of reading menopause content that talks about gradual changes and "noticing the shift" over years. My shift happened in about three weeks. Hot flashes every hour, sleep completely gone, mood that I didn't recognize as mine. I'm not angry at anyone here. I'm just frustrated that I keep having to translate my experience into language that fits a timeline that isn't mine. Even at my last OBGYN appointment I felt like I was explaining myself from scratch. I've started keeping a running notes document before each specialist visit so I'm not fumbling for words in the room. That part has actually helped a little. Just needed to say it out loud to people who might get it. ETA: I know some of you have been through similar. I'm glad this room exists.

Jun 10 · Replied

Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Samantha. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 10 · Posted

50, had a hysterectomy with oophorectomy in March and honestly the timeline thing is messing with my head more than I expected. Everyone talks about perimenopause like it's this slow creep over years and I just. didn't get that. Tuesday I was fine, Friday I was a different person. Hot flashes starting two days post-op, mood stuff by week three. My OB keeps referencing the standard menopause literature and I sit there nodding but none of it maps onto what actually happened to me. I've been putting together a list of questions before my follow-up next month because last time I walked out with half my thoughts still in my head. Things like: can we talk specifically about surgical menopause as its own thing, not just menopause-adjacent. What should my timeline for symptoms actually look like given HOW this started. What's the difference between what I might feel at six months versus two years out. Also weirdly the thing that's helped me feel most human some days is just eating something real. Scrambled eggs, soup, toast. Nothing complicated. My appetite has been all over the place since surgery and I kept skipping meals which made everything worse. Not a cure, obviously. Just. eggs helped. Anyone else feel like they aged into a conversation that was already halfway over and nobody left you the beginning?