Melissa
Member58, Brighton. Mostly here for honest stories, sleep chat, and women who get it.
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Activity (6)
Jun 20 · Replied
Community post
Thank you Anna, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Jun 20 · Replied
Community post
Just popping back to say thank you, especially Rebecca. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.
Jun 19 · Posted
Right. I've been sitting here for twenty minutes trying to work out how to word this and I keep deleting it. I'm 58 and I've been with my husband for thirty-one years. Thirty-one. And I cannot for the life of me find the words to tell him that sex has become genuinely painful. Not uncomfortable. Painful. I just sort of... go quiet and hope he doesn't notice and then feel awful about it afterwards for multiple reasons. I've got a GP appointment next week and I've been scribbling down notes on my phone because I know I'll get in there and my brain will go completely blank. What I'm trying to say to the doctor is something like: dryness that's got worse over the past year, pain during sex, and something that feels almost like a UTI afterwards even when it isn't one. I looked it up and I think the term I want is GSM? I wrote it down so I don't forget to actually say it out loud rather than just hinting and hoping she picks it up. The appointment feels manageable. It's the conversation with my husband that doesn't. Has anyone actually found the words for that bit? Not the doctor bit, the other bit. x
Jun 19 · Posted
58 and I am sitting here with a piece of paper trying to work out how to describe what has been happening down there to a GP I have seen maybe twice. How do you even start that sentence. "It hurts" feels too vague. "Sex is painful" feels too exposing. "Dryness" sounds like I'm talking about a biscuit. I've been writing things down because I know if I don't I'll walk in and say I'm fine and come out with nothing. So far my list says: discomfort, that UTI feeling that never quite turns into a UTI, and the fact that I stopped wanting to try because the anticipation of pain is worse than the pain itself. My husband hasn't said anything. Neither have I. We've both just quietly stopped and I think we're both pretending that's fine and it isn't. Does anyone have actual words they used with their GP? Not looking for a script, just. I don't know. Proof that someone said it out loud and didn't dissolve.
Jun 14 · Posted
58 and I have been sitting on this for months honestly. The dryness. There. I typed it. It started maybe two years ago and I kept thinking it would sort itself out and it absolutely has not. Sex has gone from something I enjoyed to something I dread and that makes me want to cry a bit if I'm being honest. My husband is lovely and patient and we don't really talk about it because I don't know how to start that sentence. "Sorry love, everything is just..." what? Broken? Dry? Not mine anymore? I've got a GP appointment next Thursday and I am terrified I will sit down, she'll ask what she can help with, and I will say "nothing, fine, just a blood pressure check thanks" and leave having said absolutely nothing useful. So I've been trying to write things down this week. Not for anyone else, just so I don't bottle it when I'm actually in the room. Things like: when does it hurt, how often, does it affect wanting to in the first place or just the actual. Trying to find the right words that aren't embarrassing and aren't too clinical either. Has anyone managed to actually say this stuff out loud to their GP without wanting to disappear through the floor? Any words that helped? I'll take whatever I can get x
Jun 8 · Posted
GP appointment next week and I've written a list but every time I get to the dryness and the libido bit I just... skip over it in my head. On paper it looks so clinical. In the room it'll come out wrong or I'll go red or she'll move on too fast. I don't even know the right words. Is it "vaginal dryness" or do I say it hurts or do I say I've gone off sex entirely? All three are true. I printed something off about GSM once and then shoved it in a drawer. Might dig it out and literally hand it to her so I don't have to say it out loud. Anyone done that? 😂 (half joking)
Posts (4)
Right. I've been sitting here for twenty minutes trying to work out how to word this and I keep deleting it. I'm 58 and I've been with my husband for thirty-one years. Thirty-one. And I cannot for the life of me find the words to tell him that sex has become genuinely painful. Not uncomfortable. Painful. I just sort of... go quiet and hope he doesn't notice and then feel awful about it afterwards for multiple reasons. I've got a GP appointment next week and I've been scribbling down notes on my phone because I know I'll get in there and my brain will go completely blank. What I'm trying to say to the doctor is something like: dryness that's got worse over the past year, pain during sex, and something that feels almost like a UTI afterwards even when it isn't one. I looked it up and I think the term I want is GSM? I wrote it down so I don't forget to actually say it out loud rather than just hinting and hoping she picks it up. The appointment feels manageable. It's the conversation with my husband that doesn't. Has anyone actually found the words for that bit? Not the doctor bit, the other bit. x
58 and I am sitting here with a piece of paper trying to work out how to describe what has been happening down there to a GP I have seen maybe twice. How do you even start that sentence. "It hurts" feels too vague. "Sex is painful" feels too exposing. "Dryness" sounds like I'm talking about a biscuit. I've been writing things down because I know if I don't I'll walk in and say I'm fine and come out with nothing. So far my list says: discomfort, that UTI feeling that never quite turns into a UTI, and the fact that I stopped wanting to try because the anticipation of pain is worse than the pain itself. My husband hasn't said anything. Neither have I. We've both just quietly stopped and I think we're both pretending that's fine and it isn't. Does anyone have actual words they used with their GP? Not looking for a script, just. I don't know. Proof that someone said it out loud and didn't dissolve.
58 and I have been sitting on this for months honestly. The dryness. There. I typed it. It started maybe two years ago and I kept thinking it would sort itself out and it absolutely has not. Sex has gone from something I enjoyed to something I dread and that makes me want to cry a bit if I'm being honest. My husband is lovely and patient and we don't really talk about it because I don't know how to start that sentence. "Sorry love, everything is just..." what? Broken? Dry? Not mine anymore? I've got a GP appointment next Thursday and I am terrified I will sit down, she'll ask what she can help with, and I will say "nothing, fine, just a blood pressure check thanks" and leave having said absolutely nothing useful. So I've been trying to write things down this week. Not for anyone else, just so I don't bottle it when I'm actually in the room. Things like: when does it hurt, how often, does it affect wanting to in the first place or just the actual. Trying to find the right words that aren't embarrassing and aren't too clinical either. Has anyone managed to actually say this stuff out loud to their GP without wanting to disappear through the floor? Any words that helped? I'll take whatever I can get x
GP appointment next week and I've written a list but every time I get to the dryness and the libido bit I just... skip over it in my head. On paper it looks so clinical. In the room it'll come out wrong or I'll go red or she'll move on too fast. I don't even know the right words. Is it "vaginal dryness" or do I say it hurts or do I say I've gone off sex entirely? All three are true. I printed something off about GSM once and then shoved it in a drawer. Might dig it out and literally hand it to her so I don't have to say it out loud. Anyone done that? 😂 (half joking)
Likes & Replies (2)
Jun 20 · Replied to Community post
Thank you Anna, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Jun 20 · Replied to Community post
Just popping back to say thank you, especially Rebecca. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.
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Comments (2)
Thank you Anna, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Just popping back to say thank you, especially Rebecca. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.