Nicola

Snap! 3pm used to absolutely floor me. I started front-loading my day a bit more food-wise and it made a difference, though I couldn't tell you exactly why. Re the GP, I did push for bloodwork and got it, I just said something like I want to rule out anything thyroid-related given my age and symptoms. That framing seemed to land better than just saying I'm tired. Worth a try. x

Ha, yes! The oh. OHHH moment is so real. I had mine about six months ago and felt slightly annoyed that nobody had just said this clearly years ago. Greek yoghurt is my go-to now, sometimes with a boiled egg on the side if I'm being very organised, which is about twice a week. The crashes aren't completely gone for me but they're so much less dramatic. Reporting from the kitchen alongside you 😊 x

Snap! Nobody noticing is the whole point isn't it. The minute you say "I'm trying to eat more protein" someone in the family starts acting like you've joined a cult. The dog being delighted about the walk made me laugh, mine looks personally offended if I skip it now. Good luck at the GP, the afternoon crash thing is worth pushing on if they try to fob you off x

Oh love, the 3pm dissolving thing is SO real. I described it to my GP as 'my brain just leaves the building' and she actually wrote it down, which felt like a win. I'd been having cereal every morning for about thirty years and switching to eggs genuinely helped me too. Eight days is still something worth tracking. And yes, bring the notes. I brought a little list and it changed the whole tone of the appointment. x

Oh I remember this stage so well. The leaflet. The blood test. The 'it might be stress'. I went through all of it. What eventually worked for me was being really specific about the sleep, like not just 'I'm tired' but 'I have woken up every night for six weeks and I am not functioning properly at work'. That seemed to shift things. Wishing you a much better appointment this time x

Oh love, I could have written this word for word. The 3pm thing is so real and I felt daft mentioning it too but honestly it was affecting my whole afternoon at work. What shifted for me was just making sure I had some actual protein at breakfast, not just toast, and then lunch with something more substantial than a sandwich. Not a diet, just... more food basically. Which feels counterintuitive but there it is 😂 And please do mention it to your GP, it is not feeble at all. "Affecting my concentration and work every single day" is a very legitimate thing to say. x

Not coincidence. I've had the same experience and I was very sceptical because I've been told so many things that were supposed to help and didn't. But the afternoon slump genuinely eased when I stopped starting the day with toast alone. Keep going and see what you notice 🤞 x

Oh I love this so much. Not a plan. Just logging. I'm stealing that framing because I do exactly the same thing, go full overhaul on Monday and then hate myself by Thursday. The 3pm crash thing is SO real. I started eating eggs at breakfast a few months back and honestly the difference in that witching hour was noticeable. Not saying it'll be the same for you but worth tracking. Good luck, report back! x

Snap! 57 and postmenopausal here and the afternoon wall is so real. I started having Greek yoghurt with a handful of nuts in the morning when I can't face cooking and it does seem to hold me better than toast ever did. Not saying it's magic but I stopped crashing at two o'clock quite so badly. And please do go to your GP with those notes, that's exactly the kind of thing they need to hear properly. x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. The 4pm thing was flooring me too and adding more protein to dinner genuinely made a difference, I was skeptical but here we are. For the GP appointment, I'd just say it plainly, energy crashes, been going on a while, can we check ferritin and B12 and thyroid. You don't need to pretend you haven't googled it, they know we all have 😂 Good luck with it x

Oh love, the 'overhaul your diet' brigade can absolutely do one. I felt exactly this way for ages. Eggs saved me too, honestly. My current lazy favourite is just scrambled eggs on a bit of sourdough with some cheese melted in, takes five minutes and I'm not eyeing up the kids' digestive biscuits until at least noon. Also, yes, absolutely raise the weight thing with your GP. I went in with a rough timeline of when it started and it made such a difference to the conversation. She actually listened instead of just doing the eat less speech. Good luck with the appointment x

Hello Dawn! Fellow Londoner, also postmenopause, also cooking for people who barely notice 😂. The planning three dinners in advance thing genuinely changed my week when I started doing it. Not all five, just three. Completely takes the half six panic away. Glad you're here x

Oh this is EXACTLY what happened to me when I finally started eating actual breakfast. I was so sceptical, like surely one egg isn't going to change anything. But the 3pm slump just... didn't hit the same. Not gone completely but nowhere near as bad. Keep going with the experiment, I'm rooting for you! x

I could have written this word for word, minus the surgery bit. The 2am wake-ups soaked, the appetite going completely haywire, eating nothing until mid-afternoon and then basically inhaling the kitchen. The protein thing you mentioned, eggs earlier in the day, I do that too now and it genuinely does help with the unhinged-by-noon feeling. Good luck with the specialist, I hope they actually listen. x

Snap! The half two wall is so real and I thought it was just me being lazy. I started doing eggs or leftover chicken at lunch a few months ago and it genuinely takes the edge off. Not gone, but manageable. Your GP prep sounds brilliant by the way, going in with actual notes is so much better than sitting there going 'um, I'm just tired?' Good luck with the appointment x

Oh love, the wallpaper paste porridge. I have been there. Four days is honestly heroic. I gave up on day two. The afternoon crash thing I genuinely think got better for me when I stopped skipping proper breakfast and just had eggs or something with actual protein in it. Nothing fancy. Just something that wasn't toast and hope. The 3pm wall didn't vanish but it got less dramatic. Also the after dinner walk, yes it's A Thing, and I also hate admitting it works. x

Honestly the calorie deficit messaging is so exhausting when you're already exhausted 😩 I muted half my Instagram last year and it was genuinely one of the better decisions I've made. We need actual food, not less of it. Solidarity. x

Snap on the strength training and the protein. I'm 57 and the eggs every morning thing has genuinely made a difference to how I feel by 11am, though whether that's the protein or just the routine of actually sitting down to eat something I honestly couldn't say. For the GP conversation, I asked mine to check my DEXA scan eligibility and used the word "proactive" a lot. As in I want to be proactive about bone health now rather than reactive later. Something about that framing seemed to land better than just saying I was worried. Worth a try. Good luck with it, hope they actually listen this time x

Snap on the 3pm thing, it used to hit me like a wall. I genuinely thought I was just lazy for a while 😩. The bloodwork thing, yes, definitely push for it. I'd go in and say something like "I'm experiencing significant energy crashes in the afternoon and I want to rule out anything physical" rather than "a bit flat", because somehow being specific makes them take it more seriously. Thyroid and iron are the obvious ones to mention. The evening walk is a brilliant small thing, I started the same way and it really does help. Keep going with it x

Oh love, 39 and already in it, that is a lot to land on you. I was similar, felt like the rug got pulled early and nobody warned me. The breakfast thing you've cracked is genuinely huge. Greek yoghurt with seeds was the thing that stopped my 10am crash too, took me years to figure that out so you're way ahead. For dinners, the thing that helped me was basically just picking one protein and building everything else around it, even if the kids were having something slightly different alongside. Less thinking at 6pm when your brain is already done. x

Eight months in and you're already tracking patterns and preparing a list for your doctor, honestly you're doing better than I was at that stage. The category-without-a-name thing is real. I went through the gradual version and even that felt like it had no proper language. Yours sounds ten times more disorienting. Bring every single note to that appointment. All of it. x

Snap! The ten minute walk thing is so underrated. I started doing the same and kept thinking it couldn't possibly count for anything and yet. Here we are, sleeping slightly better like the low-effort overachievers we are 😂 For the GP thing, yes to times of day, but also note if it's worse on days you've skipped lunch or had something really carby. That pattern was what finally got me taken seriously rather than just nodded at. You're doing the right thing writing it down x

Ha, I'm post the patch stage now but I remember the switching merry-go-round vividly. Night sweats for me were always worse in the first fortnight after any change and then sort of found a new normal, whatever that was. Your cold pasta salad image has made my evening 😂 x

I could have written this word for word. The eating over the sink thing is so real. I've done it countless times, stood there spooning something straight from the pan while everyone else is sat at the table. The protein thing clicked for me eventually though, chicken thighs are genuinely one of the best things for keeping me going into the evening. You're not being weird, you're just figuring it out. x

Oh I feel this. Night flushes were winning for me for months. No US recs but I'll say that just having a fan directly on me made a surprising difference while I figured out the bigger stuff. Not a solution but it helped me get through. Hope you find something that works x

Thank you Julie, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Oh love, the mid-afternoon flat feeling, yes. That is so exactly it. Not dramatic, just... grey. I've been there for about two years and nobody called it anything useful until I pushed. For dinners that aren't faffy: I do a lot of roast chicken thighs (just bung them in), Greek yoghurt with whatever for pudding, and eggs in about fifteen different forms when I can't face anything. Halloumi and roasted veg if your daughter is visiting and eating light. Quick, filling, no Sunday prep required. And write the patterns down, absolutely do it. You won't look anxious, you'll look like someone who wants an actual answer. Which you do. x

Oh love, yes. I did exactly this about a year ago and I'm so glad I pushed for it. I went in with a little list written on my phone, which felt a bit daft but honestly it helped. I asked specifically about thyroid function and blood sugar because I'd read those can both go a bit haywire post-menopause. The GP actually took it seriously when I framed it as "I want to rule things out" rather than "I think something's wrong". Fingers crossed yours does the same x

Came here to say I remember your earlier post and I've been hoping you'd come back. This is lovely, not because everything's fixed, but because you're still here, still paying attention to yourself, still going to the appointments. That's the whole thing really. Energy was the last thing to come back for me too, just so you know it's not unusual. x

Oh love, "got dropped" is such a good way to put it. The whole conversation around menopause assumes a runway and surgical just doesn't have one. Greek yogurt and soft eggs sounds genuinely sensible when you can't face much. I hope the specialist listens properly next week. x

Snap! I only ever clock the bad moments too. The walk instead of driving one really got me, those small choices feel so insignificant but they're not, are they. x

Been there, done that, still occasionally do it even now on the other side. The word gap is real and it's unsettling in a way that "a bit foggy" absolutely does not cover. You're right to want to describe it properly. And twelve years of competence doesn't just disappear, even when it feels like it has x

Right, the protein breakfast thing is real and I say that as someone who spent years scoffing at it. I do eggs most days but when I can't be bothered it's just full fat Greek yoghurt with whatever fruit is going. The difference in how long I last before wanting to raid the biscuit tin is noticeable. Also the weight creeping up without explanation is SO common at this stage, you are not imagining it and it is not your fault. x

Snap! The 3pm wall is so real and nobody talks about it enough. I got absolutely nowhere with my GP until I started writing things down, like actually noting the days and what I'd eaten. Suddenly it felt less like me moaning and more like evidence. On the 'well you're 58' front, I'd be tempted to say 'yes, and I'd like to feel well at 58 please' but I'm not sure that helps 😂 Seriously though, you're not imagining it and you deserve a proper conversation x

Snap! I could have written the 4pm bit word for word. The feral hunger, the biscuits, eating dinner you're not actually hungry for because you made it and it cost money. That is my life described back to me. I started doing the protein breakfast thing a few months ago, not religiously, but more often than not, and honestly the crashes are less bad. Not gone, but less. I'm interested to see what your two weeks shows. And yes, definitely mention it to your GP, mine was actually useful when I framed it as energy rather than weight. x

Snap! The activewear reels, the collagen powder, the have you tried cutting out gluten... I cannot. I have been eating sensibly since approximately 1994 and I do not need a 32 year old telling me I'm doing it wrong. Good luck with the GP. Writing it down is genuinely the best thing you can do, I did that and it helped so much more than trying to explain it on the spot x

Oh this is lovely to read. The protein after strength work thing caught my eye, I've noticed something similar, though I couldn't have articulated it as clearly as you just did. I tend to just collapse on the sofa with a biscuit and wonder why I feel terrible the next day 😂 Writing things down before the GP appointment is such a good shout, I always forget half of what I wanted to say the second I sit down. Glad you're coming through it x

Ha, the cereal at 8pm because you couldn't decide is very me. I've done that more times than I'd like to admit. The 3pm crash got so bad for me last year that I started keeping a little note on my phone of what I'd eaten that day, just to see if there was a pattern. There was. Every time. Barely any protein before lunch and I was basically useless by half three. Eggs are not a coincidence. x

Snap! I have a 24 year old who apparently cannot detect a lentil if it is disguised well enough. Tin of green lentils in a bolognese, completely invisible, no complaints. The walk after dinner is a good one too. I tell myself it's just to get some air and somehow that makes it feel less like exercise and more like just... existing outside for a bit. 😂

Oh love, YES. The algorithm is absolutely relentless isn't it. I swear I looked at one post about perimenopause six months ago and now I'm apparently the target market for every detox tea and intermittent fasting guru on the internet. 😂 The 3pm crash is so real. I started eating more at lunch, properly more, and it genuinely helped. Not a cure, just... less awful. Solidarity x

Oh I love the photo idea, genuinely. I've been saying "it's getting thinner" to my GP for two years and she just nods. Having actual evidence feels like such a simple thing but I'd never have thought of it. And yes to the protein breakfast, I started doing eggs most mornings a few months ago and I don't know if it's that specifically but the afternoon crash has been less brutal. Could be coincidence. But I'll take it. x

Snap! First time back I spent about ten minutes pretending to look for something in my bag because I didn't know how to adjust the seat on the leg press. 😂 You went. Twice. That's genuinely it. x

Oh love, I could have written this word for word. The 3pm thing was me for about a year and I kept blaming bad sleep too. The eggs thing is real, I was sceptical as well because it does sound very Instagram, but something does shift. On the GP front, I'd write down the specific times and what you'd eaten. Mine took me more seriously when I had actual examples rather than just 'I'm exhausted'. Did they check your thyroid? That was the one useful thing that came out of mine x

Snap! The 3pm crash is basically my nemesis. I've tried a few of the supermarket bars and honestly most of them are exactly as you described, someone describing chocolate to a robot is the best summary I've ever heard 😂. I've found the Grenade ones okay, not amazing but they don't taste like sadness. Also the adding rather than taking away approach is genuinely the only thing that's ever worked for me long term, so I think you're onto something there. x

Oh I could have written the bit about just having tea in the morning and then feeling dreadful by 10. That was me for years. Eggs or yoghurt before anything else made such a difference and I felt a bit silly that something so boring was the thing. The "consistent low-drama maintenance" framing is exactly right. Not glamorous, just steady. Lovely post, thank you x

The tired of smiling through it. Yes. That's it exactly. I remember that phase. It's a lot of invisible effort. I hope you get some relief soon, whatever form that takes for you. x

Oh I could have written this word for word, the hollow and slightly furious bit especially 😂 I've been doing eggs or Greek yoghurt most mornings for a couple of months now and the 3pm thing is genuinely less savage. Still there sometimes but not that desperate biscuit-grabbing thing. And yes, write it all down before the GP. I did a little notes app log and it felt less like "I'm just moaning" and more like actual information. Good luck with it x

The two o'clock thing, yes. Absolutely yes. I used to think I was just lazy until I started paying attention and realised it was basically clockwork. What helped me was eating something with actual protein at lunch rather than grabbing whatever was easiest. Not a cure but it took the edge off. For dinners, I do chicken thighs roasted in a big pan with veg, the family eat it with rice or wraps and I just have more of the chicken. Works most nights! x

Oh love, the pasta family struggle is SO real. I used to do exactly the same lentil-sneaking thing and honestly they never noticed once I got the ratios right. The afternoon crash thing, I described mine to my GP as "a wall, not tiredness, like someone pulled the plug" and that seemed to land better than just saying tired. Something about it being sudden and physical rather than just feeling a bit sleepy. Good luck with the appointment, hope they actually listen. x

Oh yes, this is my specialist subject. Quesadillas. Tortilla, cheese, whatever leftover protein is lurking, another tortilla on top, dry frying pan, five minutes. Teenagers think it's a treat somehow. I've never corrected them. Also big fan of the sheet pan chicken someone mentioned in a thread last week. x

I could have written this word for word, minus the dating bit (long marriage, different chaos). But that feeling of not knowing which version of yourself is turning up? Absolutely. The morning walk thing is real, I know it sounds almost insultingly simple but it does something. Good luck at the GP, say the actual thing. You deserve to. x

Snap! The batch mince thing is basically holding my household together. And yes to the afternoon slump, it used to hit me like a wall around 3 and I'd be absolutely useless. Someone on here mentioned it recently actually, think it was in a thread about energy crashes. For the GP, I'd say just be really specific, like 'I'm exhausted by mid-afternoon and I want to rule things out' rather than 'check everything', because otherwise you just get the standard stuff and they send you on your way 🙄 x

Snap! My lot are exactly the same. What worked for me was just quietly upping my own portion of whatever the protein was and not making a thing of it. Also halloumi. Teenagers seem to accept halloumi as not being health food for some reason. Chucked in a traybake with peppers and it disappears every time 😂 x

Oh love, I could have written this word for word. The Instagram algorithm is absolutely relentless and I have muted so many flat-stomached women this year it's not funny. The 3pm crash is real and I had it badly for ages. The walk after lunch thing, keep going with it, I genuinely think it helped me more than any of the breakfast overhauls I attempted. Family dinner is not the enemy. You're doing fine x

I could have written this word for word. The 3pm hollow thing is so specific and so real, and "it's normal at your age" is doing a lot of heavy lifting for what is basically no help at all. I've had exactly the same experience with eggs in the morning making a genuine difference. Not fixed, not magic, just... less dramatic. Which honestly at this point is all I'm asking for. Good luck with the GP follow-up, push if you need to. You've got actual evidence now which is more than most of us walk in with. x

The secret chicken thigh swap is GENIUS and I'm stealing it immediately. I did something similar with lentils in a cottage pie a few months back and my husband had seconds. Seconds! The afternoon crash thing is real though, I've had it for two years and I'm convinced it's a combination of everything you said. Keeping notes for your GP is such a good idea, I went in once just saying I was exhausted and came out with a leaflet about sleep hygiene. A leaflet. The walk after dinner sounds lovely. x

Oh love, 45 and in menopause felt completely wrong to me too, like someone had made an admin error with my body. The weight thing is so frustrating because you haven't actually changed that much and yet. The evening walk is genuinely brilliant, I started doing something similar and it's the one habit that's actually stuck. For family meals that work for everyone, I lean heavily on things like a big tray of roasted veg with some chicken thighs, cheap, filling, nobody complains. x

I could have written this word for word, minus the teenagers eating the fishcakes because mine would absolutely pull a face 😂 The lentil and sausage soup sounds exactly like my kind of meal, cheap, filling, nobody moaning. And yes to the GP list, I did this recently and it was the only reason I actually said what I needed to say instead of just nodding and leaving. Hope the appointment goes well. x

This room is so good for exactly this. The intimacy thing shifting quietly is something I really wasn't prepared for and I don't think anyone warned me it could happen like that. Just wanted to say you're not alone in it, not by a long way x

Eight weeks is still early days in my experience. The knees might take longer, or they might just be knees doing what knees do at this point. Mine did eventually settle but it was closer to six months before I stopped noticing them first thing. Worth keeping an eye on rather than writing it off.

The log is a genuinely good idea. I went into my first review and said everything was fine and came out with nothing changed. Took me another four months to course correct. Monday mornings are a surprisingly useful measuring stick, actually.

The honest rather than cheerful thing is so hard to actually do in the room. I always go in with good intentions and then find myself saying 'yes, fine, much better thanks' before I've even sat down properly. Good luck with it.