Patricia

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Geraldine. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Different experience here, just so you have the full picture. Eggs didn't really shift my slump on their own but adding something alongside them did. So it might be worth noticing what else is or isn't on the plate. Not trying to complicate it, just sharing in case it helps! x

Right, the GP thing. I used to dread it too. What I eventually did was frame it around the change, not the symptoms themselves. Something like: things have shifted noticeably in the last few months and I'd like to understand what's going on. That felt less like complaining and more like asking a question. Much easier to say out loud. Good luck with it, you're absolutely not being dramatic. x

Oh this made me actually exhale. Three nights of more than five hours is not pathetic at all, that's a genuine shift and you're right to notice it. I started doing the phone notes thing before GP appointments too and it changed everything about how those conversations went. Suddenly I wasn't just sitting there going "tired, a bit rubbish, you know" and hoping she'd fill the gaps. The joint stuff, yes, please do lead with it next time. I kept bumping mine down the list for months. x

Oh this is so smart. I started doing exactly this about six months ago and honestly it changed everything about how my appointments went. Writing 'low and snappy by Thursday' is so much more useful than 'mood bad', you're absolutely right, the GP can actually do something with the specific version. And noting what's improved is underrated, I think we're so primed to only mention the problems. Good luck with it, hope she listens properly x

I could have written this word for word, the crying in the car bit especially. I thought I was genuinely losing my mind. The tracking notes thing, I started doing something similar and honestly it's the most useful thing I've done. Not because it fixes anything but because you can actually show your GP something real instead of just saying "I feel terrible" and hoping they believe you. Really glad things have shifted for you. The fog is stubborn isn't it. Hope your follow-up goes well x

Oh love, the crying in the Tesco car park. I did that. Mine was a Sainsbury's but same energy. The bit about your mood being recognisably yours again made me actually well up a bit just now. That's exactly the right way to put it. And well done for having your notes. I started doing that before GP appointments and it genuinely changes the conversation. Rooting for you on the fatigue front. x

Snap! Half ten to six is not nothing, that is a full night's sleep and you are allowed to be thrilled about it. The writing things down before the GP appointment, I did exactly that in February, felt a bit daft walking in with my little list but it genuinely helped me say what I actually meant instead of just saying I was fine when she asked. So pleased for you. Hold onto this week. x

Oh I love this so much. Not a plan, an experiment. I'm stealing that framing because it's exactly right. I did something similar a few months back, just scribbling a word or two on my phone before I got up, and honestly just having the record helped me feel less like I was making it all up. The fog is real but patterns do emerge. The breakfast thing too, I noticed the same thing, something with a bit of protein and I'm a different person by eleven. Rooting for you quietly from over here x

Oh love, this is ABSOLUTELY what this room is for. We know you. Ask away. Okay so the thing that saved me on gym nights: tinned salmon or tuna stirred through pasta with a bit of cream cheese and frozen peas. Done in the time it takes to boil the water. Teenager-adjacent palatable (mine eats it, and she is fussy beyond reason). Protein sorted. No thinking required. Also, rotisserie chicken from the supermarket. I just buy one on the way home some weeks and we pull it apart and eat it with whatever's in the fridge. My husband thinks I've cooked. I have not cooked. x

Cried at a FedEx notification. I mean. I felt that in my soul. So glad this week has been steadier. The writing it all down before an appointment is something I wish someone had told me ages ago, I used to go in and just say 'fine, tired, fine' and then wonder why nothing changed. Rooting for Thursday. x

Oh this made me properly well up a bit. Eight weeks ago you were crying at the recycling (I have been THERE, the recycling specifically, why is it always the recycling) and now you're planning what to actually say at your follow-up instead of just saying you're fine. That second bit is huge. Genuinely. The not-saying-you're-fine thing is worth more than people realise. Good luck with the appointment and keep us posted. x

Welcome, and cautiously better is still better! I remember that feeling, like you daren't say it out loud in case it jinxes everything. So glad you found your way here. x

Ha, I could have written this word for word about three years ago. Pasta with jarred sauce and a bag of salad was my survival meal for longer than I'd like to admit. Nobody complained because they knew I was one comment away from ordering everyone to make their own toast. Sometimes the threat is the strategy. 😂 x

Go in with a list, seriously. I used to feel embarrassed doing that but it's the only way I stop the appointment running away from me. Thyroid and blood sugar are both reasonable things to ask about and most GPs will just order them if you ask clearly. You've got this, don't let them rush you out the door x

I could have written this word for word, the part about not fitting the story. Mine wasn't surgical but I remember that feeling of the script not matching. The phone notes are such a good idea, I did exactly that before my last GP appointment and it genuinely changed the conversation. Ask about bone health at your follow-up if it's not on their list already. That one caught me off guard. x

Snap! The not-having-to-decide thing is underrated isn't it. My brain at 7am genuinely cannot cope with options. I started doing the same a few months back and I can't tell you if it's the protein or just the routine itself but something shifted slightly. Also love that you're writing down the better days now. I really should do that more. x

I could have written this word for word, minus the eggs (can't face them in the morning, no idea why). But the protein thing, yes. I started doing something similar after someone mentioned it in a thread here a while back and I genuinely think it helps with the 11am wobble. The mood feeling like yours again is such a good way to put it. Rooting for you at that GP appointment, go in with the notes and don't let brain fog be the thing that gets left off the list this time. x

Snap! I started doing something similar a few months back and the 4am thing was my marker too. It crept forward so slowly I nearly missed it. Writing it down is the right call, you'll want to look back at this in a month. Rooting for you x

I could have written this word for word, the bit about accepting it as background noise especially. I did that for ages. The walking thing is real though, I noticed something similar when I started being more consistent about it. Not a cure, just, quieter. Good on you for writing down what you want to ask. Say it out loud even if your voice goes a bit wobbly in the room. x

Years post-menopause and still tracking sleep here, yes. Honestly it never fully settled for me and having notes helped me push for a proper review rather than just accepting it. The mid-morning feeling is such a good thing to record, it tells you more than the night itself sometimes. Good luck with it, hope you find a pattern x

Oh love, hot flushes at night are absolutely brutal aren't they. I don't have US recs specifically but I did get one of those cooling toppers from Amazon a while back and honestly it helped more than I expected. Not a cure but I stopped waking up completely drenched, which felt like a win. Hope someone here can point you to a proper US brand x

Really glad the notebook is helping. I found that having something physical to hand over changed the whole tone of the appointment, suddenly it felt more like a conversation and less like I was being assessed. The 1-3am cluster is interesting, worth mentioning that specifically. Fingers crossed she listens properly this time x

Oh Geraldine, this made me properly smile. That shift from frightened to just... tired at 3pm is huge, even if it doesn't sound it written down. I started doing the same thing with protein after my weights sessions and I genuinely can't tell if it's that or the HRT or just time but something is different. Writing it all down before the appointment is such a good idea. I always go blank the second I sit in that chair. Good luck Thursday x

Oh this made me properly well up. Four nights. FOUR. I remember the first time I got three in a row I stood in the kitchen just staring at the kettle like it was a miracle. The notes thing is so real too, I started doing the same before my last appointment and it completely changed the conversation. My GP actually read it rather than just nodding. Glad you came back to tell us. x

I could have written this word for word, except I was 41 and absolutely convinced I was having a cardiac event at least twice a week. The notes on your phone idea is genuinely brilliant, I wish I'd done that. I just turned up to my GP appointments and went blank. Writing down what's improved before the appointment is something I'm stealing for my next one. So pleased for you x

The Tesco car park line got me 😂 I have absolutely been there. More than once. Keeping notes for your GP is such a good shout, I started doing that a while back and it genuinely changed how useful those appointments felt. Really pleased you had a better week. Log it, keep it, believe it. x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. 51 here and still very much in the managing-rather-than-enjoying phase with sleep but you're right, it does get more navigable. That's the word. Not fixed, just navigable. The strength training surprise got me too. I started earlier this year thinking it wasn't really for me and now I'm annoyed I waited so long. Thank you for coming out of lurk mode to write this. It matters. x

Snap! I was the queen of nodding along at protein breakfast advice and then drinking coffee until 11am and wondering why I felt terrible. Started actually doing it a few months ago, just Greek yoghurt mostly, nothing fancy, and the afternoon slump is genuinely less dramatic now. Can't promise it'll be the same for you but it helped me. Love that you're tracking for your appointment too, that's such a good idea x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. The DEXA results were the thing that made it real for me too. Suddenly I stopped thinking of it as something to worry about later and started actually doing things about it now. Your GP questions sound really solid, especially the one about fracture risk, because the score on its own doesn't tell you that much without context. Good luck with the appointment, hope they give you proper answers and not just a printout. x

Oh love, this made me properly well up at my desk. The bit about feeling like a stranger in your own body, yes. That's exactly it. So glad something has shifted. And I love that you're going into the follow-up with actual observations rather than just saying "I don't know, maybe a bit better?" which is what I used to do. Good luck next week, rooting for you x

Thank you Bridget, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Snap! The 4am wake-up but then actually going back to sleep is HUGE. That was the thing for me too, it wasn't that I stopped waking, it was that waking stopped feeling like a catastrophe. So pleased for you. And a GP who actually listened, genuinely that bit matters so much more than it should have to x

Oh love, the "wrong room" feeling is so real. I felt it for ages. Too young for one conversation, too old for another. Just wanted to say you sound like you're approaching this really sensibly, the notes, the breakfast observation, all of it. And going back to your GP with something specific rather than just "I feel off" makes such a difference. Glad you found somewhere to land. x

Snap on the mood thing. I barely recognised myself last year either, honestly thought I was just becoming a worse person permanently. The relief when it started to lift was almost embarrassing, like oh, there I am. Also the notes idea for your follow-up is so smart. I started doing that before my last GP appointment and it genuinely changed the conversation. She took me so much more seriously when I had actual patterns written down rather than just "I feel awful sometimes". Thank you for posting this. Someone needed to read it today. x

Oh this is lovely, thank you for posting it. The written notes thing, yes. I started doing something similar and it genuinely changed the tone of my appointments. Less apologetic somehow. Also the dinner point made me laugh because I'd been eating toast at 9pm and wondering why I felt terrible. Small things. Really glad you're getting some sleep. x

Oh this is so good to read. Writing it all down beforehand is genuinely one of the best things I ever did, because yes, the blank-the-moment-you-sit-down thing is absolutely real and a bit humiliating when you've been rehearsing in the car on the way there. I started noting the rough nights too, not just the wins, and it made such a difference to how the conversation went. Good luck next week, hope you get to ask the awkward ones too. x

The "again" in your post says everything. It's not just the flush, it's the relentlessness of it. I started keeping a little note on my phone of when they happened at work, partly to show my GP, partly just so I felt less like I was imagining it. Small thing but it helped me feel less like I was just quietly suffering with no record of it. x

Ha, I love this. Not calling it anything official is exactly right, no pressure that way. I started doing the same thing a few months back, just a few words in my notes app each morning. Honestly just seeing it written down felt like something. Rooting for you x

Snap! Pesto pasta is my fallback. Boil pasta, drain, stir in pesto and a bit of the pasta water, done. I sometimes add a bag of spinach that wilts in about thirty seconds. Teenagers eat it, one colander to wash. That's a win in my book x

Oh love, the bathroom floor at 3am. I know that floor. I know exactly that floor. The 'bloods are fine' thing used to make me want to scream because I KNEW something was wrong, I just couldn't name it. The protein breakfast thing isn't minor at all actually. I started doing something similar after someone mentioned it on here and the difference in how I function before lunch is genuinely not nothing. So glad sleep has shifted for you. Keep those notes. Walk into that follow-up with the list and don't apologise for it. x

Snap! I've had a couple of those mornings recently and I didn't tell anyone either, felt like I'd jinx it 😂 The wading through wet sand description is so accurate it's almost offensive. Glad the sleep is easing up. And honestly the breakfast thing might be doing more than you think, I noticed something similar when I started being more deliberate about what I eat first thing. Not claiming anything, just... possibly not nothing x

Oh love, the car cry. I know that one so well. Mine was a Tesco car park, engine still running, just completely done. You're not broken, you're just a person who ran out of road for a minute. The thing about writing down your symptoms before the appointment is genuinely so worth doing. I started keeping even scrappy notes on my phone and it changed the whole conversation with my GP. She finally understood what my actual days looked like, not just the tidy version I'd present in a 10 minute slot. Cheese sticks and hard boiled eggs is honestly a solid system. Don't knock it. x

39 and surgical and having to explain yourself every single time, that sounds exhausting. The head tilt thing made me laugh because I know exactly that face. Writing the timeline down before your follow up is such a good call, I did something similar and it genuinely changed how the appointment went. I felt less like I was fumbling. And the looking fine from the outside thing, yes. People see you upright and assume the rest has caught up. It hasn't always. Be gentle with yourself. x

Snap. The second opinion thing. I put it off for ages because I felt like I was being difficult and then I finally did it and honestly I could have cried in the car park. Not because everything was fixed but just because someone took me seriously. The boring breakfast thing doesn't sound like nothing to me either, fwiw. x

Oh I love this so much. The walk, the real lunch, just letting the traffic comment go. That last one is an achievement honestly 😂 My therapist says the same thing about tracking the good bits and I am terrible at it. Saving this post as a reminder to actually do it. One good evening counts. It really does. x

Snap! Six hours is a WIN. The flush is just the body doing its little victory lap to keep you humble. I've started just standing in front of the open fridge at that point, which my husband finds absolutely baffling. Celebrate the sleep though, genuinely. x

Oh Robin, welcome properly. The Waitrose car park detail got me because I had a very similar moment in a Sainsbury's petrol station and I thought, this cannot be my life. Second GP making all the difference is so real. Really glad you're here and that things are moving in the right direction. The keeping notes thing is genuinely useful for follow-ups, I started doing it too and it felt very unlike me as well. x

Oh this is such a good problem to have 😂 I've had this exact thing where a run of decent nights appears from nowhere and I spend half the week waiting for it to collapse. Honestly I'd just tell your GP exactly that, three good nights, no idea why, logging it. They can't argue with data. Enjoy it while it's here! x

Oh this made me properly well up a bit. "More like mine again" is exactly it, isn't it. That's the thing that's so hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been through it. Not dramatic, just... yourself again. I've been doing the boring breakfast thing too, eggs most mornings, and I honestly don't know if it's that or the HRT or the strength stuff or all three conspiring together. Probably all three. Good luck with the GP next month, write it all down beforehand, you'll be glad you did x

Notes are absolutely the way to go. I actually read mine out loud at the start before she could ask anything else, just said "I've written a few things down, can I just go through them quickly" and she said yes. Took the pressure off completely. Your wine and coffee observations are exactly the kind of thing that shows you've been paying attention. Rooting for you x

The notes document is genuinely one of the best things I ever started doing. I used to come out of GP appointments thinking, wait, I had three things I wanted to ask and somehow only asked one. Now I write it all down and I actually feel like I'm part of the conversation rather than just a passenger. Sounds like you're approaching this really thoughtfully. x

Oh love, the Tesco car park moment made me laugh and cry at the same time because I had a very similar one involving a missing tupperware lid. Completely lost it. The notes idea is brilliant, I did something similar before my last GP appointment and it genuinely changed the conversation. She could actually see a pattern instead of me just saying "yeah, up and down I suppose". So glad you're getting some steadier nights. x

Snap! The second opinion thing is so important and nobody tells you it's allowed, do they. You just assume the first answer is the final answer. I kept notes too and honestly taking them in with me changed everything, suddenly I had something to point at instead of just crying and hoping they believed me. So pleased you're sleeping. Actual news. 😊 x

Oh I feel this so much. I bought one of those gel toppers last summer, can't remember the brand now but got it from John Lewis. Honestly? It helped for about the first hour then just felt... normal. Not a scam exactly but not the miracle the ads promised either. The thing that actually made more difference for me was a lighter duvet. Still waking up sometimes but less drenched. Might be worth trying before you spend the sixty quid x

Oh love, not imagining it at all. I run too and the recovery has completely changed. Used to do a Sunday long run and be fine by Monday. Now I need Tuesday as well, sometimes Wednesday if I'm honest. My GP said it's real, the body genuinely handles stress differently in perimenopause. You're not going mad x

Oh love, the rain stick thing made me laugh and also want to cry a bit because YES. I once spent a full minute trying to remember the word 'kettle'. Stood in my own kitchen. Brilliant. Anyway, this is a proper win and you were absolutely right to tell someone who gets it, because your husband's coffee face would not have been sufficient. Well done you. x

I could have written this word for word honestly. Mine was the same for ages, just auto-renewed, nobody asking how I was actually getting on. In the end I wrote a little list before the appointment, symptoms still happening, how often, how it was affecting sleep and work, and I handed it over. Felt a bit mad but the GP actually engaged properly for once. Evening flushes every night for two years is worth pushing on. You know your body x

I did a rough two week thing where I just noted dinner and then gave the night a score out of five. Not scientific at all but patterns did emerge. Cheese was suspicious. Spicy food was fine for me, weirdly, but heavy meals late were not. The scoring bit helped because otherwise I'd only remember the really bad nights.

Five seconds is a weird amount of time when your brain goes quiet like that. Long enough to notice, short enough that you can't quite explain it to anyone without sounding dramatic. I've had similar on my usual route, just a little blankness, and then it snaps back. Unsettling is the right word for it.

I started doing something similar before my last appointment and it genuinely changed the conversation. Instead of saying 'I don't know, just bad?' I could say 'four nights this week, worse after wine.' The doctor actually looked up from her screen.

The running dropping off is always the thing I'd have glossed over too. Fifteen minutes is not a lot but it sounds like she actually used them. Three weeks feels long but also, you made the appointment, bloods are ordered, that's already more than January.

I like that you are not converting to anything. Every time I try something new there is always someone waiting to hand me a tote bag and a lifestyle. Two Saturdays in and already noticing something is enough.