Steph

Four days of proper breakfast in a row is absolutely an achievement, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And the pasta and beans on toast approach to dinner is basically my entire week. The dread thing resonates hugely. Hope the GP appointment is a good one. x

Right, I could have written this about three years ago. The "I sound vague even to myself" is painfully familiar. I kept second-guessing whether it was just work stress or the kids or not sleeping well enough, and maybe it was all of those things AND something hormonal happening at the same time? The notes are a really good idea. I wish I'd started sooner. You're not being dramatic, you're being sensible x

Snap! I could have written this word for word. 51 here and the word thing has been the weirdest part for me. I'm a reasonably articulate person, or I was, and now I stand there pointing vaguely at things like a toddler. The protein lunch tip is interesting, I've been doing similar and I do think it helps the afternoon but you're right, it doesn't fix the morning fog. Keeping notes for the GP is such a good idea, I wish I'd done that. Good luck with the appointment x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. I'm 51 and I still can't tell you with any confidence where the exhaustion stops and the peri starts. They just sit on top of each other. I lost the word "stakeholder" in a meeting last year. Stakeholder! I've been saying stakeholder since 2009. Ended up calling them "the interested parties" and hoped for the best 😂. The list idea is brilliant, bring the specific examples to your GP, "a bit fuzzy" genuinely gets you nowhere. Fingers crossed she actually listens. x

This is such good advice and honestly applies to any appointment where you know you'll freeze. I've started doing this for brain fog stuff too because I always downplay it when I'm actually sitting in front of someone. There was a thread recently about how to describe symptoms clearly to a GP and this fits right in with that. Really glad your second appointment went better. x

Oh I could have written this word for word, honestly. The 3am wired thing is exactly it, not proper insomnia but not proper sleep either, and then by afternoon I'm running on biscuits and stubbornness. Writing it down before the GP appointment is such a good call. I did that last year, specific examples, dates, work impact, and my GP actually engaged with it properly rather than just nodding and moving on. The cognitive stuff is real and it's worth naming it exactly like you have here. Good luck next week x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. The mid-sentence thing where you just... hover... and then have to do the dramatic pause face while your brain frantically rummages around the back of a drawer. I've been doing the protein-at-3pm thing too and I genuinely don't know if it's placebo but I'm not stopping it because the alternative is just sitting there staring at a spreadsheet like it personally offended me. Good luck with the GP. Take the written examples, it really does help. x

Cautiously better is honestly such a good way to put it. Not triumphant, just... quietly relieved? I'm still in the thick of it but reading posts like yours helps more than I can say. Welcome 😊

Snap on the protein lunch thing. I'm only a couple of weeks in but the 3pm slump is genuinely less catastrophic than it was. Still happening, just not quite the full lights-out experience. Also the word thing, yes, absolutely yes. I said 'the number we're aiming for' instead of 'target' last month and stood there for a second wondering who I'd become. You are not broken. But you might be peri. Both things can be true x

Oh I could have written this word for word. "The document thing" made me laugh but also want to cry a bit because I have absolutely done the exact same. Mine was "the... meeting where we all sit round" (a CONFERENCE CALL, Steph, it's called a conference call). And yes to the evidence thing. I actually started keeping a notes app list for a few weeks before I went to my GP. Not obsessively, just a quick line when something felt off. It really helped because otherwise I'd have sat there and gone "oh it's probably fine" and come home with nothing. Having actual examples made me feel less like I was being dramatic. x

Oh love, the 3pm wall. I thought it was just me being lazy or not drinking enough water or something. Started having a proper lunch with actual protein rather than whatever sad desk situation I'd cobbled together and it does help, not completely but enough that I don't feel like I'm wading through treacle by half three. Your GP prep strategy is spot on too. "I feel foggy" gets you nowhere. "I lost the name of a client mid-sentence in front of my director" is a different conversation entirely. Quietly rooting for you x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. I used to be the person who remembered everything in meetings, like a human filing cabinet, and now I sit there nodding and hoping no one asks me a direct question. The tuna pasta line made me laugh though, so thank you for that. The GP thing, yes. I did exactly the same, downplayed it because it felt embarrassing to say "I can't think at work" when I've been doing this job for fifteen years. Took it in written down and she took it much more seriously than when I'd just sort of waved my hand at it. So definitely do that. x

Snap! The 3pm thing is so real. I started doing the protein snack thing a few months ago after someone mentioned it in a thread here and honestly it's not a cure but it does take the edge off slightly, exactly like you said. Also the phone off at 10 is something I keep meaning to be more strict about. You've reminded me. Good luck with the GP, the specific examples thing is such a good shout. x

Oh love, the mid-sentence evaporation. I know that exact moment. The smile while your brain just... nopes out. I'm 51 and have been there more times than I can count this past year. For the GP, what helped me was being really specific rather than general. Not "I'm forgetful" but "I lost a word mid-presentation in front of my manager" and "I now have to write down things I've known for fifteen years." The specificity seemed to land differently. She actually leaned forward. Also, for what it's worth, I couldn't tell either whether it was peri or just life. Turns out it was both, which is deeply unhelpful but also somehow reassuring? You're not imagining it. x

Oh love, the four-second silence. I know that silence. It's awful in a way that's really hard to explain to anyone who hasn't felt it because from the outside it probably looks like nothing and from the inside it's absolutely deafening. Please do bring it to your GP. I was convinced I'd sound ridiculous and my GP actually said the work impact stuff was exactly what she needed to hear. I'd written a few examples down beforehand, specific ones, and I think that helped. Not just "I feel foggy" but "I lost a word mid-sentence in a meeting and it's happening regularly". That framing seemed to land. x

Hi! 51 here and honestly the brain fog was the thing that finally made me go to the GP. I kept thinking I was just tired or stressed or needed a holiday. But it was relentless. Turns out peri and burnout can look almost identical which is deeply inconvenient 😂. Either way you deserve to be taken seriously. Don't let them fob you off. x

Snap on the burnout-or-peri question, honestly I've stopped trying to work out which is which because the answer is always both isn't it. The protein lunch thing is interesting, I've been doing something similar and the 3pm wall is definitely less brutal than it was. Still there, just... negotiable. On the GP thing, yes, I had a useful one but I had to be quite blunt about the work impact. 'Tired' gets you a leaflet. 'I forgot my colleague's name three times last month and I manage a team' gets a different response. Good luck, hope they actually listen. x

This is genuinely lovely. I've been so focused on all the things I can't do as well as I used to (brain fog is relentless lately) that I've completely stopped noticing what's still there. The idea of just logging the okay moments without needing them to be brilliant, I think I need that. Thank you for posting this. x

Oh love, the word thing is SO real. Mine was "adjacent" last week. I said "next to, sort of neighbouring, you know" in a team meeting and just watched everyone's faces. I used to be the one who corrected other people's word choices. 😩 The work impact log is genuinely smart, not daft at all. I wish I'd started one sooner. Ten minutes with a GP goes nowhere if you can't give specifics. You're doing the right thing x

Not just you. Absolutely not just you. I'm 51 and I manage a team too and the word thing has had me genuinely worried. Mine was "provisional" a few weeks back. Just stood there going "the, the not-final one". My team were very kind about it which somehow made it worse 😂 The notes app trick helps me too. And yes, go to your GP with the examples, that's exactly the right approach. I found being specific about work impact made the conversation feel more real than just saying I was tired x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. I was the one who remembered every action point, every name, every number. Now I'm saying "the spreadsheet, the one with the... rows" and people are waiting. It's mortifying in a way that's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't felt it. The protein lunch thing is interesting, I've been doing something similar. No massive claims either but the 3pm slump does feel slightly different. Slightly. x

Snap! The burnout vs peri question kept me going in circles for ages. Honestly I'm not sure you can always separate them cleanly, they seem to make each other worse. What I will say is the lunch thing is real. I started doing the same a few weeks ago, proper food with actual protein, and the three o'clock crash got noticeably less awful. Still not perfect but less like my brain had just left the building. Your notes for the GP sound really sensible, specific examples with dates land differently than just saying you're struggling. Good luck with it. x

Thank you Bryony, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Snap. I said "the email, the one about the project, you know the one" to my manager last week. Twelve years of competence and suddenly I'm gesturing at thin air. The mortification is real. I don't know if it's peri or the general weight of everything but I do know it's not "just a bit tired". You're not being dramatic x

Snap! I'm 51 too and I work in comms, so words are literally the job, and I have stood in front of my own team and completely blanked on 'stakeholder'. Just gone. I did the same air gesture thing 😂 The protein lunch thing is interesting because I've noticed something similar, like my brain just falls off a cliff if I don't eat properly. Not saying it fixes everything but it's not nothing. Good luck at the GP, take that list. x

Oh love, I could have written this word for word about eighteen months ago. The losing-a-word-mid-sentence thing in meetings nearly finished me off. I kept calling it "tiredness" to my GP and got nowhere. The moment I said "I forgot the word invoice on a client call and I work in finance" she actually sat up. So yes, keep that list. The concrete examples are everything. Fingers crossed for you. x

Oh love, the anchor word notebook is EXACTLY what I do. Mine lives next to my laptop and I write down two or three words before every call just so I have a thread to grab if I lose it. Which I do. Regularly. I chaired a project catch-up last month and completely blanked on a colleague's name mid-sentence. Four years I've worked with her. Four years. Re the GP thing, I went in with three specific work examples written down and I think it genuinely helped. Not vague fuzzy feelings, actual incidents with dates. She took it much more seriously than I expected. x

I could have written this word for word. Literally. Last week I forgot the word 'invoice' and I've been sending invoices for twelve years. I just stared at the screen. The gathering-evidence thing is exactly what I did and honestly it felt a bit paranoid at the time but it meant my GP couldn't just wave me off. You're not mad, you're prepared. x

The list is a really good idea and I'd say keep everything on it, including the bits you keep crossing out. I went to my GP with a similar list and she was completely unfazed. There was a thread on here recently about what language to use with GPs for this stuff, might be worth a search. Rooting for you next week. x

Oh love, 'the thing where we check the numbers' made me laugh and then immediately feel sad because I have BEEN THERE. Last month I called a spreadsheet 'the rectangle of doom' in a meeting because pivot table just evaporated. My colleague thought I was being funny. I was not being funny. And yes, write it down for your GP. Dates, specific examples, exactly like you've written here. I did this and it completely changed the conversation. Suddenly it wasn't 'a bit foggy' it was 'on the 14th I couldn't recall the name of a client I've worked with for four years mid-sentence'. That lands differently. You're already doing the hard thinking, just put it on paper. x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. I lost 'procurement' last month. PROCUREMENT. I work in procurement. The writing things down idea is genuinely brilliant and I wish I'd done it before my last GP appointment where I basically just said 'I'm a bit all over the place' and came away with a leaflet about sleep hygiene. Take the specific examples. They matter. Good luck with the appointment x

Honestly the 'I used to be fine' framing is underrated. It's so much more concrete than just listing symptoms. I did something similar and it felt like it shifted the conversation. Stop apologising in advance, you're doing everything right 😊 x

Oh I could have written this word for word. The dissolving word thing is so specific and so awful isn't it. I've started doing the same bullet point thing before calls and honestly it's the only reason I still seem vaguely competent at work. For the GP, what worked for me was saying "this is affecting my ability to do my job" rather than "I feel foggy". The moment I made it concrete and work-related, the GP actually listened. Good luck with it x

Oh I could have written this word for word, honestly. The goldfish thing in meetings. YES. I said "the spreadsheet... the numbers document" last month and just watched my own credibility quietly leave the room. I genuinely think it can be both at once, that's the maddening part. Burnout and hormones seem to do the exact same things to your brain and then just laugh at you together. The note-keeping is such a good idea though. I wish I'd thought of that before my last GP appointment where I basically just went vague and got told to "try to rest more". Walking in with a log feels like the only way to be taken seriously. Good luck with it x

The 3am anxiety is SO specific isn't it, it's like your body has a standing appointment with dread. I've started keeping a notes app list of symptoms as they happen rather than trying to remember them all before the GP appointment. Much easier than trying to reconstruct a month from memory while sitting in a slightly too warm consulting room. x

Oh love, the 'buying process people' moment made me wince because I have absolutely been there. I said 'the thing, the document, the... sign-off sheet' in a meeting last month and just watched my own credibility quietly leave the room. The jotting down specific examples is exactly right for the GP. I went in with a list, actual dated notes, and it made such a difference. Not 'I feel foggy' but 'on Tuesday I lost a word mid-sentence in front of my manager, this happened four times last week'. They can't really brush that off with 'reduce stress' when you've got receipts. x

Snap! I do this too, started about six months ago. The side by side comparison is brutal but honestly so useful. I always blank in appointments as well, so I've been keeping a little notes document on my phone. Protein tracking is interesting, I've been paying more attention to it too, more out of curiosity than anything. Will be watching this thread. x

Different experience here slightly, my teenagers went through a phase of rejecting literally everything so I stopped trying to please them and just made what I could manage. Turns out when they're hungry enough they eat it 🙄 Halloumi and pitta with hummus is my current low-effort favourite. x

51 here as well, same thing happened to me in a Teams call about six weeks ago. I knew the answer, I've known that process for years, and I just lost the thread mid-sentence. It's rattling in a way that's hard to explain to people who haven't had it. The sleep and the fog do feel connected for me, the nights I wake at 3 the next day is just worse. Protein in the bag is a good shout, I've been doing similar. x

Snap! The afternoon fog is so real. I've been experimenting with eating something proper at lunch, like actual protein, rather than just grabbing whatever's going in the office, and it does seem to help me get through to about 4pm without completely losing the thread of things. Not a fix but a bit less desperate. And yes to writing things down for the GP. I did this and it genuinely changed the appointment. x

Oh love, I did exactly this before my GP appointment last year. Wrote down every blank moment, every word I lost mid-sentence. 'Invoice' is such a solid, familiar word and that's what makes it so unsettling when it just... vanishes. Mine was 'spreadsheet' in a team meeting. I just said 'the... numbers document' and moved on like nothing happened 😂 Take that list. All of it. It really does help them take you seriously. Good luck x

Snap! Had one of those a few weeks back and I nearly texted my sister about it 😂 It genuinely felt like a win. Not a small thing at all, honestly. Celebrate it. x

Snap! I started doing this a few weeks ago after someone mentioned tracking the good days in a thread here somewhere. Honestly the pattern thing is real, even just noticing "oh I ate actual lunch today" vs "grabbed half a biscuit at 3pm" has been eye-opening. Not pathetic at all. The word just coming is a WIN. Write it all down 😊 x

Yes to all of this. I stood in the pharmacy for about ten minutes staring at the shelf feeling judged by nobody. Ended up with one that was fine. Not life-changing, just fine. Which is honestly all I needed. Good luck with the GP, I always write a little list now so I don't just smile and leave with nothing. x

Oh love, the word-finding thing is SO real. I lost "adjacent" in a meeting last month and just said "next to it, sort of" and nodded confidently like a complete fraud. The bullet points before catch-ups, yes, I do this too. Started calling it "prep" in my head rather than "compensating" because it felt less bleak. The GP diary idea is genuinely smart, I wish I'd done that sooner. Keep going. x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. The quiet crisis in the loo is SO real. I blanked on the word 'quarterly' a few weeks back. Quarterly. I've worked in finance for fifteen years. Said 'every three months' and just ploughed on like a total pro 😂 The protein thing in the afternoon is interesting, I've been doing something similar, Greek yoghurt around 3 because the slump was absolutely flooring me. Can't say for certain it's doing anything but I feel less like I'm wading through treacle by end of day. And yes, managing symptoms of a thing nobody's confirmed yet is... exactly it. Solidarity. x

Snap! The commute used to be my thinking time too and now it's just... surviving the noise? I get off the train already depleted and I haven't even opened my laptop. The word thing happens to me in meetings constantly. I've started slightly over-explaining around the missing word which probably makes it more obvious not less 😂 The tracking idea is good though, I started doing something similar and it did start to show a pattern after a few weeks. Hang in there x

Oh love, the mid-sentence blank. I know that exact feeling, it's like the word is just... gone. Vanished. I started keeping notes before my GP appointment too and honestly I think it helped. She couldn't really brush it off when I had dates and specific examples in front of her. Work impact especially seemed to land differently than just saying "I'm a bit forgetful". Stick with the log. x

Oh love, the stapler thing made me wince so hard because I have been THERE. I called a spreadsheet "the number rectangle" in a meeting last month. To my director. I am 51 and have been doing this job for fifteen years and I stood there pointing at a screen like a toddler. The note-keeping thing is genuinely brilliant, I wish I'd thought of that earlier. And yes, absolutely write it all down before your GP appointment, the work impact stuff especially. They need to hear that it's not just a bit forgetful at home, it's affecting your actual professional life. Rooting for you. x

Ha, dignity optional is my entire life right now 😂 I haven't tried the towels specifically but I did start carrying a little fan in my bag and it's been quietly brilliant. Go enjoy yourself, you deserve it x

Right there with you on the obsessive research spiral. I do this with everything now, one bit of information and suddenly I've read seventeen articles and have opinions I didn't have yesterday. The DEXA thing is something I keep meaning to push for. Your mum's hip fracture is exactly the kind of family history that should get you taken seriously at the GP. Hope the appointment goes well and that they actually engage with your questions properly x

I could have written this word for word. Comms here too, different company, same slow-motion horror of losing words mid-sentence. The protein thing I've been trying as well, someone mentioned it in a thread here a while back actually. Some days it genuinely helps, some days nothing does and I just have to get through it. You're not being dramatic, you're being accurate. x

Snap! The peri-or-burnout question is doing my head in too. I genuinely cannot tell which one is stealing my words in meetings. Logging the protein thing alongside sleep is helping me see some kind of shape to it, slowly. Good idea to write it down before the GP appointment, they do seem to respond better when you turn up with actual examples rather than just "I feel a bit rubbish" 😂 x

Snap! The "you're very busy" response is basically a GP classic isn't it. 😩 I went back a second time with a written list and it was so much more useful, partly because I didn't forget what I wanted to say (ironic given the whole brain fog thing). Specific work examples are definitely worth including. And for what it's worth I genuinely think it can be both, the burnout and the peri feeding each other, which is unhelpful but also slightly reassuring that you're not imagining either of them x

Oh love, the vague gesture at a colleague while your brain just... refuses. I've been there. I once said 'the spreadsheet, the numbers one, the big one' in front of our entire leadership team. Wanted to dissolve into the floor. You are absolutely not alone in this. My GP was actually decent when I pushed for specifics, didn't just wave me off with 'it's hormones'. Fingers crossed yours is too x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. My therapist also said burnout. She wasn't wrong exactly but she also wasn't seeing the full picture. What shifted things for me was my cycles going a bit erratic around the same time as the fog. That made me push harder with my GP. The not-tracking-with-stress thing is such a good point to take in with you. x

Snap! I lost the word 'invoice' in front of my whole team last year. Just stood there. I did exactly what you're thinking, wrote down a few real incidents before my GP appointment, things like 'said the wrong name for a client twice in one week' rather than just 'feel foggy'. She actually listened properly. Honestly think it made a difference. You are absolutely not being dramatic. Good luck with the appointment x

Oh I could have written this word for word. The dissolving thing is exactly it, words just... go. I'm 51, periods doing their own chaotic thing, and I started keeping notes too after I blanked on my own manager's name in a meeting. Humiliating is the right word but also yes, useful. The GP took me much more seriously when I had actual dates and examples rather than just 'I feel a bit foggy sometimes'. Keep the notes. And the oatcakes. x

Oh I could have written this word for word. The over-preparing thing really got me. I used to be the one who could just... riff. Now I write bullet points for a five minute catch-up with my manager because I don't trust my brain to hold the thread. I'm 51 and still not sure if it's peri or just three years of running on empty. Probably both honestly. The phone in the kitchen thing is a good start. I've been doing that for a few weeks and I do feel marginally less like a zombie. Going back to the GP with specific work examples sounds like exactly the right move. Good luck with it x

I love this so much. And the husband-with-coffee response is painfully accurate, mine does the exact same thing, bless him, he just has no frame of reference for what it actually costs to lose your words. You came to the right place. Proper brilliant morning. x

Four months of actual detail is so much more useful than the dramatic before and after stuff. The morning hour thing resonates, that slow start was really grinding me down before anything else shifted. hot flushes being reduced but not gone sounds about right from what I've heard too, not a switch, more of a dial.

A month feels like the right call. Three weeks is not really enough to separate out what was the supplement and what was just life being slightly less awful for a few days. I am on week six of mine and I still could not say for certain either way.

The bit about treating every bad week as evidence of failure really got me. I did exactly that. Still do sometimes, if I'm honest. Also the biscuit thing. Very relatable.

The notes on the phone thing is genuinely good advice and I wish someone had told me before my first appointment. I rambled for about four minutes about my garden before I remembered why I was there. Six weeks feels like a long time but at least the list got heard.