Tamsin

Oh love, I could have written this word for word. I started at 59, stood near the kettlebells for two weeks before I actually touched one. 😂 It absolutely gets less weird. By week four I was nodding at the regulars like I'd always been there. The protein thing clicked for me when I stopped thinking of it as a diet thing and just... made eggs a habit. You're doing brilliantly. x

Oh I remember this stage so well. The not-knowing is genuinely the worst bit. For what it's worth, I wish I'd been more insistent earlier. If the GP goes vague on you, you're allowed to say 'I'd like to discuss whether this could be hormonal' and see what happens. You know your body. The evening walks sound lovely by the way, I swear they helped me more than I expected. x

I could have written this word for word, except I was holding a 3kg dumbbell and looking absolutely baffled by a resistance band. I'm 60 and started about eight months ago. The out-of-place feeling genuinely does get better, I promise. By week four I stopped caring about the buns and started caring about whether I could actually feel my glutes working. Which apparently is the whole point. Well done for staying. That bit matters most. x

Right, the sleep hygiene leaflet 🙄 I could paper a wall with those. You are doing exactly the right thing with the notes, and you are absolutely allowed to say "I want to talk about HRT." You're not being difficult, you're being prepared. There was a thread on here recently about what to say to GPs and someone suggested literally reading from your phone if your mind goes blank. No shame in it at all. Good luck x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. The knees, the sardines (my husband also finds this deeply funny), the walking that sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. And yes to the appointment thing. I went in last year with actual written questions and left having discussed my blood pressure. I don't know how it happens. Maybe write the questions down and hand the paper over before you even sit down? x

Oh love, this is such a good idea. I wish I'd done it this way when I started. Just keep the notes simple, even a number out of ten for sleep quality each morning, that's enough to spot a pattern. 🤞 x

Oh love, I could have written this. The bit about thinking HRT meant you were sorted, yes, absolutely that. I had the same quiet assumption and then a conversation with my GP that gently dismantled it. The cheese thing made me laugh though. Small mercies. Good luck with the appointment, sounds like you've got exactly the right questions ready. x

Oh love, the timeline idea is genuinely brilliant and I wish I'd thought of it sooner. I did exactly what you're describing for years, got to the appointment and somehow only talked about sleep or mood and then walked out kicking myself because my knees hadn't come up at all. Writing it down beforehand really did help me actually say the thing I came in to say. And honestly I'd ask about the DEXA in the same appointment, mine was fine with it, just frame it as connected. Which it is. x

Not tiny at all. Feeling like yourself again after a long stretch of not quite recognising yourself, that's huge. I had a moment like that a few months back, put on an old favourite and just stood there a bit teary. Keep writing these down. They matter. x

Oh love, the wrong spot shuffle. I felt that in my soul. I started a class last year and spent the first month hovering near the door just in case I needed to escape without anyone noticing. You didn't leave. That's the whole thing really. On the longer GP appointment, yes, I've managed it. I specifically asked the receptionist for a double appointment and said it was for a medication review. They don't always advertise it but most practices do offer them. Worth asking when you book rather than hoping for extra time on the day. Good luck with it x

Oh love, the background noise thing. Yes. I've done exactly that, just quietly absorbed it into daily life until I genuinely couldn't remember what my knees felt like before. The protein thing feels sensible to me too, I've been trying to do the same, just quietly making sure lunch is actually a meal. Good luck at the GP next month, push for the conversation you deserve. x

The trailing off mid-sentence, oh I remember that so well from a few years back. It does get better, I want to say that because nobody said it to me at the time and I could have done with hearing it. The notebook system is clever and not at all embarrassing, it's just adapting. As for the GP, go in with your examples written down and don't let them brush it off as stress. You know your own brain. x

Oh love, the half a stone from nowhere is such a familiar story in here. I've been doing scrambled eggs with whatever veg is left in the fridge, mushrooms or spinach, takes five minutes and keeps me going for ages. Since I started trying to do a bit of strength training I've been more aware of getting enough protein generally and breakfast feels like the easiest place to start. Nothing fancy, just eggs and a bit of effort. x

Oh love, I could have written this word for word. Knees and hands here too, and I kept filing it under "just getting older" for ages. When I finally went in with a list and specifically asked about a DEXA scan, my GP was actually really receptive, I think she'd just been waiting for me to bring it up. The timeline idea is brilliant, I wish I'd done that. Good luck with the appointment x

60 here and I recognise all of this. The stone that appeared quietly is so accurate, I feel like I looked up one day and there it was. The after-dinner walk is lovely, I do something similar, just round the block, nothing heroic. It genuinely does help. Nice to read something that isn't telling me to overhaul my entire life. x

Oh the word thing! I remember it so well from a few years back. 'Provisional' is exactly the kind of word that just vanishes. The gathering-evidence approach is genuinely smart, not mad at all. I wish I'd been that organised when I was where you are. Wishing you a GP who actually listens x

Just popping back to say thank you, especially J.S.. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Snap on all of this, I'm 60 and I remember feeling exactly like you describe a few years back. The distance thing with a partner is so hard to name because you're not even sure what it is yourself. What helped me was just being a bit matter of fact about it, almost like I was reporting a dodgy knee. Took the drama out of it somehow. He didn't need the full picture, just enough to know it wasn't about him. You know your husband, but most of them just want to be told what's going on. x

Thank you J.S., and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Snap! I've been doing almost exactly this for about a year now. The lunch walk became the thing I protect most in my day, which I never would have predicted. For the GP chat, I found saying 'it's affecting my ability to function at work' made it land differently than just 'I'm tired.' Gave it some weight. Good luck with the appointment x

Oh love, the quietly accommodating thing. Yes. I stopped sitting on the floor at my grandchildren's level and I genuinely couldn't tell you when I decided that, because I didn't. I just stopped. The DEXA scan question is such a good one to bring. I've been on HRT a while too and finally had that proper conversation last year. Worth pushing for. The morning walks sound exactly right. x

Also just want to say, someone mentioned in a thread a little while back about weight-bearing exercise being really useful alongside the food stuff. I've started doing a bit of strength work and I'm told that counts. Still feel like an idiot in the gym but apparently that's fine. x

The kitchen avoidance is very relatable 😂 but honestly, once I finally had that conversation with my husband it was such a relief. He'd been quietly worrying it was him too. You've done the hard part just understanding it yourself. x

Oh love, the 'arguing for your own continuity' line. That is exactly it. Six years here too and every review I walk in braced for the are-you-sure face. I've started writing a little list before appointments, nothing dramatic, just so I don't get flustered and agree to something I don't actually want. The joint stuff is real and it belongs in that conversation. You're not being another thing. You're being the whole thing, which is allowed. x

Thank you J.S., and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Oh I remember that fog so well. I'm the other side of it now at 60 but the word-finding thing was genuinely one of the more frightening bits, especially at work. I used to be sharp as anything and then suddenly I was saying 'you know, the... the thing' constantly. The examples approach is the right one for the GP. Dates, situations, impact. Makes it real rather than vague. Wishing you a decent appointment and a GP who actually listens. x

Oh I relate to this so much. I spent ages thinking I was catastrophizing and then a friend pointed it out and I thought, right, okay, it's not just me and the bathroom mirror having a bad morning. The protein angle is interesting, I've been trying to be more consistent with it too. Not a cure, just feels like something I can actually do. Good luck with it, keep us posted. x

Oh love, I felt ridiculous for about three months. Still went. Still felt ridiculous. And then one day I didn't, quite as much. Writing it down is exactly right. It counts. x

Oh love, I could have written this word for word. 60 here and I started a small group strength class last spring feeling absolutely ancient and clueless. Dropped nothing but did stand in the wrong place for the entire first session and nobody told me. 😂 The protein breakfast thing genuinely helped me feel less wobbly by week four. Stick with it. x

Hello, I'm a bit further along than you but I remember this exact feeling. Vitamin D was one of the first things my GP actually brought up with me, so you won't sound odd raising it at all. The list approach helped me so much. I'd been trying to hold everything in my head and getting flustered. Writing it down meant the conversation was calmer and I actually came away with answers. x

Oh love, that meeting moment sounds awful and I really do remember that feeling. I'm a bit further along than you and I'll just say the documenting things for the GP is absolutely the right instinct. Go in with specifics. I wish I'd been more prepared in those early appointments rather than just hoping they'd ask the right questions. You know yourself and you know something has shifted. x

This takes me right back. I remember that phase so clearly. You're doing exactly the right thing going in prepared. The fatigue especially, I think GPs underestimate how much it affects everything when you're losing that much. Hope she listens properly. x

Oh love, THIS. Two sessions is not a small thing at all. I remember the first week I got back to it and just cried in the car afterwards, not from pain, from feeling like myself again. Knees are a nuisance but they'll settle. Keep going. x

Welcome, glad you finally posted! Not my area of knowledge on the telehealth side but I will say this: a year of no periods and hot flushes bad enough for a spare outfit at work is not a vague or uncertain picture. You are not being dramatic. Bring the two pages. x

Oh love, I could have written this word for word. The creeping joint stuff is so easy to just... absorb quietly isn't it. Eight years on HRT here too and I still sometimes wonder what's the HRT, what's just age, what's me not moving enough. Good luck with the GP appointment. Worth asking about everything you mentioned, they can't dismiss it all at once. And well done on the walk. Genuinely. x

Oh this is such a good reminder. I finally asked my GP last year and honestly it was one of the most useful things I did. Took a bit of pushing but she referred me. The results gave me a proper reason to take the vitamin D and strength work seriously rather than just vaguely meaning to. Worth every awkward conversation x

The clinical vs romantic packaging thing is so real, there's no middle ground is there 😂 I just want something that looks like it was designed by a normal person. I've been using a basic one for ages and it does what it needs to. Definitely push for the local oestrogen chat at your appointment, worth being clear about what's actually bothering you. x

Oh Maria, I could have written this word for word. The going quiet about it, the feeling like admitting it means accepting it, all of it. I did exactly the same thing for about eighteen months before I finally said to my GP, right, I need you to actually hear this today, and I had my little list in my hand and I just kept going. Writing it down beforehand made such a difference, I think because I wasn't trying to remember things while also feeling a bit fobbed off and flustered. The physio recommendation for strength work is spot on in my experience too. Not a miracle but genuinely something. Good luck next month, you've got this. x

Oh love, the section for things you feel silly saying out loud is genuinely the best idea I've heard on here in ages. I started doing something similar after I spent an entire appointment talking about my sleep and completely forgot to mention the joint pain that had been waking me up every night. The DEXA scan question is a good one to push on too. I had to ask twice before mine got arranged. Worth having it written down so you don't let them brush past it. x

Different experience here, I found the cooling towels a bit fiddly in public if I'm honest. A small handheld fan was less conspicuous for me. But everyone's different and if it works for you, brilliant. Hope the date goes well! x

I could have written this word for word about ten years ago, except I didn't find the bath. I just kept saying yes until I hit a wall. You spotted it earlier than I did and that matters. The sandwich years are brutal, everyone pulling at you from both directions. Hold onto that Sunday feeling x

Oh love, the notes document is such a good idea. I started doing something similar before my last GP appointment and it genuinely changed the whole conversation. I stopped nodding and started actually asking things. The winter vitamin D situation in England is a running joke in our house. My husband keeps saying we should move to Lisbon. He might not be entirely wrong. x

Oh I had to push, absolutely had to push. My GP looked at me like I'd asked for a private jet. Eventually got referred after I printed off the NICE guidelines and brought them in, which felt a bit dramatic but honestly worked. Don't give up on it, it's worth having the baseline. Good luck x

Oh love, I've been a reluctant batch cooker for about four years and I can confirm: you will never go back. The Sunday afternoon sacrifice feels annoying in the moment and then Wednesday evening rolls around and you want to hug past-you. Also the labelled containers are not depressing, they are proof that you planned ahead like a functioning adult, which some days is genuinely remarkable. x

Wrong train! Oh I feel this so much. I once put the kettle in the fridge. Not joking. The cotton wool description is exactly it, I used that exact phrase to my GP and she finally seemed to get what I meant. The wiped out by 3pm thing is real too, the effort of compensating is its own kind of exhausting. Hang in there, the referral will come. You're not imagining any of it. x

Oh love, the rain stick thing. I once called a dishwasher the 'plate washing cupboard' in front of my whole family and they still haven't let it go. But seriously, a clear run after all that fog, you absolutely needed to tell someone who understands why it matters. We understand. Well done. x

Oh love, the embarrassment of not saying the word menopause, I did exactly that for about two years. Two years! Just sort of hovering around it hoping the GP would say it first. She didn't. The notebook sounds brilliant. If she starts heading toward antidepressants before she's properly heard you, it's absolutely fine to say you'd like to explore whether this is hormonal first. You're allowed to do that. Rooting for you. x

Oh love, I could have written this about four years ago. Fingers, then knees, then I started walking downstairs like my nan and thought right, something has to change. I did eventually get a GP to connect it, but I had to say the word perimenopause myself and then sort of wait for her to catch up. The log will really help. And yes, for me personally, things did improve after I started HRT, the morning stiffness was noticeably better within a few months. Fingers crossed for your appointment. x

Nine weeks and then just casually shows up like it popped out for milk. I kept a stash under the bathroom sink for about two years and eventually gave up. The unpredictability is its own kind of exhausting, honestly.

Ordinary is doing a lot of work and I think it deserves the log entry. I skip mine when I feel like nothing happened and then wonder later why there are gaps.