Wendy

I could have written this word for word, minus the HRT bit because I'm not there yet. But the cereal-and-toast thing, yes. My whole life has been cereal-and-toast. I've been trying the Greek yoghurt route too and honestly it's fine, it's just a habit shift. The cult comment from your husband is peak husband. 😂 x

Does it matter if it's burnout or peri? Honestly I've asked myself the same thing and I think you're right that it doesn't, not immediately anyway. Both need addressing. The phone notes for the GP is such a good shout. I turned up to mine and just said "tired and a bit anxious" and got precisely nowhere. Wishing you a GP who actually listens x

Three days running is genuinely an achievement, don't let anyone tell you otherwise 😂 I spent about six months buying vitamin D and then finding it at the back of the cupboard, expired. Pairing it with breakfast was the thing that finally made it stick for me too. Small wins are still wins. x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. The notes app full of screenshots I never look at again is painfully familiar. I did something similar a few months back, started with just one thing and actually wrote down how I felt beforehand. Felt a bit daft but it genuinely helped me work out if anything shifted. The breakfast protein thing is real too, made a difference to my energy just on its own. Good luck with it x

Snap! I went through a phase of having about seven things on my bedside table and genuinely couldn't tell you if any of them did anything because I started them all at the same time like an idiot. One thing at a time is the only way to know. And yes bring the list, my GP loved that I'd done it, made the whole appointment feel more useful x

Not had a DEXA yet but this has made me think I should ask about one. I'm 42 and probably being told I'm too young but still. The bit about doing nothing while vaguely worrying is very me. Glad the scan gave you something concrete to work with. And yes to cheese being on the right side of things, genuinely good news 😂 x

This is the way. I wasted so much money doing the opposite, three new things at once and then couldn't tell if any of them helped or if I was just having a better week anyway 😂 Writing it down is smart. x

Thank you Stephanie, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Right, my go-to is a big tin of butter beans, a tin of chopped tomatoes, smoked paprika, and whatever sausages I have. One pan, half an hour, everyone happy. Honestly feels like I made an effort when I absolutely did not x

Oh love, the 2am kitchen thing. I feel that in my bones. I've been doing something similar, just a scrappy notes app thing, mood, sleep, hot flushes, whether I snapped at anyone unreasonably. Mostly the last one if I'm honest. The boring inconclusive stories are the only ones I trust now. I tried one thing at a time for about six weeks each because otherwise how would you even know? Still not sure about half of it but at least I have something to say when I see my GP instead of just gesturing vaguely at my face x

I could have written this word for word. I stood in Boots for about fifteen minutes last month picking up bottles, reading the back, putting them down again, and left with nothing except a mild headache. The "formulated for women over 40" thing gets me every time. I've done the same as you, food first, proper protein, less faff. If I do add anything I want to be able to tell my GP exactly what it is and why. One thing at a time feels like the only sane approach honestly x

I could have written this word for word 😂 I had about seven different things on the go at once and genuinely had no idea what was doing what, if anything. One thing at a time is the only way I've found to make any sense of it. The phone note idea is really sensible, might nick that. x

Eight a day plus overnight ones, that's a lot to be dealing with. I haven't started HRT yet, still at the googling stage if I'm honest, but I've seen a few people mention the patch vs gel thing comes down to what your GP is comfortable prescribing as much as anything else. Which is a bit frustrating. Anyway, good luck next month, hope she actually listens x

I could have written this word for word, the catastrophising at 3am is a special kind of awful isn't it. I cut back on coffee too and honestly couldn't tell if it helped or if I was just exhausted from worrying about it 😂 I think you sound really prepared for your appointment though, the log is clever. Fingers crossed you get a GP who actually engages with it. x

Oh love, the 'is it working or do I just want it to work' question is genuinely the hardest part and I think about it constantly. Your notes app thing sounds more rigorous than what I was doing (which was basically vibes). I do rate writing down specific things though, like actual wake-up times rather than 'slept ok', because that gives you something to look back at that isn't just a feeling. And yes tell your GP everything you're taking, mine actually did flag something so it's worth it x

Oh love, the white blazer founder thing made me actually laugh out loud. I've been there, staring at my phone at midnight convinced I need ashwagandha AND lion's mane AND a £70 collagen powder. I did try magnesium glycinate a while back and honestly my sleep went from "staring at the ceiling until 2am" to "only waking up once". That's it. That's the whole story. No referral code. x

I had a slightly different experience, just to be honest, my GP was a bit dismissive the first time and I had to push a bit. So if they don't offer the bloods straight away, it's worth asking again or saying you'd really like to rule things out. You're not being difficult, you're asking a reasonable question. Hope yours is more helpful than mine was first time round x

Oh I could have written this word for word, the 2am rabbit hole especially 😂 I tried magnesium a while back, just one thing, gave it about six weeks. Sleep didn't become magical but I did stop lying there with my heart racing quite as badly. Marginal improvement is still improvement honestly. Bring your screenshots to the appointment, your GP has seen worse. Good luck x

Oh love, the carrier bag of shame is SO real. Mine was a kitchen drawer. Couldn't even close it properly. I did the same reset thing about six months ago and honestly it was a relief more than anything. Just magnesium and trying to eat actual food before reaching for a capsule. The GP list idea is brilliant, I wish I'd done that. Happy birthday for next month by the way 🎂 x

The going back through photos thing got me. I've done that. It's a strange thing to do to yourself isn't it. But also the lentils in the mince is genuinely useful, I'm going to try that this week. My partner won't know and I will feel very smug about it. 😂

Snap! I did the exact same thing about three weeks ago and ended up with seventeen tabs open and a mild panic attack about whether I was deficient in everything simultaneously. The pink tin herbs thing made me laugh out loud because YES, I have seen those. Anyway. I'm doing the same as you, vitamin D first because my GP can actually test it and it feels like a real starting point rather than just throwing money at a problem. One thing. Good luck at your appointment x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. The algorithm after one perimenopause search is absolutely relentless. I took a list to my GP last year and she was genuinely pleased I had, went through it properly and flagged one thing I hadn't expected. Definitely worth doing. And yes to sorting protein first, I kept adding things on top of a diet that was basically beige. x

I could have written this word for word, especially the set-your-watch-by-it bit. Mine was like clockwork for twenty years and now it's just chaos. I haven't got the GP prep sorted as well as some of the others here but just wanted to say you're not alone in the spare clothes situation. Absolutely mortifying and also completely normal apparently. Which is its own kind of annoying. x

I could have written this word for word. The bathroom shelf, the influencer with suspiciously good lighting, the collagen that tasted of nothing good. All of it. I did the same reset a few months back and honestly it was such a relief just to stop. Magnesium was the one thing I kept too and I can't make grand claims but my sleep is... less chaotic? The notes idea is brilliant, I've just been going on vibes which is not exactly rigorous 😂 x

Oh love, you actually went TWICE. In the same week. I've been telling myself I'll look into a beginners class for about six months now and I've not even googled it properly yet. The bit about keeping notes for your GP is such a good idea. I always get in there and completely blank on what I was going to say. Might steal that approach for my own appointment 😊 x

Oh love, the one-thing-at-a-time approach is honestly the only sane way to do this. I tried to start three things at once and had no idea what was helping what. My GP was actually fine when I brought a written list, she didn't bat an eyelid. I framed it as "I'm considering this, can we talk about whether it makes sense given what else I'm on" and that seemed to land well. x

Snap! The beginner video thing is a trap isn't it. They all say beginner but then someone's doing a squat with perfect form and I'm just stood there holding the wall. Three walks is real progress though, genuinely. And yes to asking the GP for specifics, you're allowed to push for more than a vague thumbs up. Good luck with the appointment x

I could have written this word for word, honestly. The discount codes are what get me. If every single wellness account has one, that's not a recommendation, that's just... a job. I binned about four things last year and genuinely could not tell you if anything changed because I was taking them all at once and had no idea what was doing what. One thing at a time now. Much cheaper. Possibly wiser. x

Oh I needed to read this today. I nearly cancelled my own walk this morning and then felt guilty about it all day. The bit about only writing down the bad nights is so true, I do exactly that and then wonder why everything feels hopeless. Going to try noting the less-bad ones too. Thank you for posting this x

Snap! I took a typed list to my GP last year, supplements and all, and she was fine with it but definitely not an expert. She said she'd flag anything obvious but to be honest I think she just appreciated that I'd written it down rather than trying to remember everything in the appointment. The protein thing is interesting, someone mentioned something similar in a thread here recently about food before supplements. x

Oh love, I'm only 42 and already dreading this being the long game it apparently is. Also the magnesium suggestion from a daughter who means well is the most relatable thing I've read all week 😂 glad you posted this x

Yes to bringing the list!! I did this earlier this year and my GP was genuinely surprised by how much I'd accumulated. She wasn't dismissive at all, just said it was helpful to have the full picture. I think they'd rather know. Mine flagged one thing she wasn't sure interacted well with something else I was on, which I'd never have thought to mention otherwise. Worth doing x

The peri vs stress question is genuinely maddening because the answer can be both at the same time, which is not helpful at all 😂 Noting it down is the right move. I found having even a rough list stopped me from saying "oh I'm fine" the second I sat down with my GP x

Oh love, the symptom log is such a good idea. I did something similar and honestly it was the thing that finally made my GP take me seriously, seeing it written down rather than me going "erm, yeah, a few months maybe?" Also the vitamin D thing, I felt the same embarrassment but my GP was completely unbothered. Bring the list. You've done the hard part already x

I could have written this word for word, minus the dishes, mine was over a school bag left in the hall. The quiet acceptance from your kid is genuinely the worst part isn't it. The walk thing is something I've been trying too, even just round the block before I start cooking. Doesn't fix everything but it takes the edge off. Definitely push your GP harder, the "too young" line is so frustrating. x

Snap on the confidence that comes and goes. Some days I'm fine, other days I genuinely avoid mirrors. I think the internal commentary thing is so real and so exhausting and nobody really talks about it. Good on you for planning to write it down for the GP. I've started doing that too because otherwise I just say "yeah I'm fine" and leave. Hope the next date goes a bit more peacefully in your own head. x

I could have written this word for word 😂 the cupboard of shame is real in this house. Half a tub of ashwagandha judging me every time I open the door. I love that you're logging the less-bad days too, that's actually something I never do and then I wonder why everything feels hopeless. Breakfast before coffee sounds so obvious but I genuinely forget to eat until like 11. Going to try it this week x

Oh love, I feel this in my bones. I went down that exact rabbit hole a few months ago and came out the other end with a very expensive cupboard and no actual sleep improvement. Genuinely had to delete the app for a bit. Now I'm trying one thing at a time and keeping a little note on my phone of whether anything actually changes. Slower but my bank account is grateful 😂 x

Snap! I started keeping one in my bag after a particularly grim commute incident. Does the job in a pinch. Also a small portable fan if you haven't tried that. Good luck!! x

The notes! Why have notes if nobody reads them?? I once had to explain my whole history to a GP who then said 'oh yes it's all here'. Mate. Yes. It is. RIGHT THERE. You are absolutely not difficult, you're just tired of doing everyone else's job for them 😩 x

The knees always have opinions, don't they. Mine file a formal complaint after anything over five. But that feeling of just going, not stopping, not negotiating with yourself mid-stride, that's worth the next day grumbling.

The boring version is so underrated. I started doing the same and it turns out 'fine, just tired' was showing up about four times a week, which is not actually fine. Writing it flat made it easier to see without having to perform a crisis about it.

The early Saturday thing would finish me off before I even got in the water. My joints are already doing their own thing in the mornings and adding cold to that feels like a negotiation I'd lose. Glad it did something for your mood though, even if the logistics are a pain.

The moment you hit confirm and then immediately think of the thing you forgot to check. Every time. I'd be packing a small desk fan in my carry-on at this point, no shame.