Willa

Jun 17 · Posted

Willa, 46. Can I ask something that's been eating at me? I work in a fairly demanding job, I've got two teens at home, and I've basically been running on fumes for three years. So when I started losing words in meetings, blanking on names mid-sentence, I told myself it was burnout. Obviously it's burnout. But my sister (49) mentioned perimenopause and now I genuinely cannot work out which it is. Or whether it even matters, because maybe it's both. The thing is, I've started writing notes before EVERY meeting now. Not just an agenda, like... the actual words I might need. Names of colleagues I should know. Key figures I don't want to fumble. It's helping me get through without looking completely vacant, but it's also quietly terrifying that I need to do it at all. I've got a GP appointment coming up and I want to ask specifically about the link between hormones and this kind of cognitive stuff, like whether there's anything useful they can actually test or track. But I'm worried I'll just get told I'm tired and sent away with a leaflet about stress. Also unrelated but also related: I've been trying to eat something with proper protein at about 3pm because my brain is genuinely offline by 4. That bit does seem to help a bit, for what it's worth. Anyone been through trying to unpick the burnout vs peri question? x

Jun 16 · Posted

46 and I genuinely cannot work out if I'm burning out or if this is peri. Like, both? Neither? I've been in project management for fifteen years and I used to be the person who remembered everything. Every deadline, every stakeholder name, what was said in a meeting three weeks ago. Now I'm sitting in a Teams call yesterday and the word 'stakeholder' just... left. I said 'the, um, the people involved' and my director looked at me and I wanted to dissolve. I've started writing absolutely everything down in a notes doc during meetings, which helps practically but also makes me feel like I'm compensating for something that shouldn't need compensating for at 46. The afternoon is the worst. By about 2pm my brain is running on fumes. I've been trying to eat something with actual protein around that time instead of grabbing a biscuit and hoping for the best, and honestly the crashes feel slightly less brutal? Maybe. Hard to tell. But here's the thing I keep circling back to: I don't know what to ask my GP. Is there even a link between hormones and this kind of cognitive fog? Has anyone actually gone to their doctor and managed to have a useful conversation about it, or did you get the usual 'stress and tiredness are very common' brush-off? I want to go in with something concrete, not just 'I forgot a word once'. x

Jun 15 · Posted

46 and genuinely cannot work out if what's happening to my brain is perimenopause or just... five years of running on empty catching up with me. probably both. probably some horrible combination of both. the thing that's getting to me most is the words. i'll be mid-sentence in a meeting, talking to people i've worked with for years, and the word just... evaporates. i stood there last tuesday going 'the thing, the document, the, you know the one' and my colleague had to finish my sentence for me. she was kind about it but i wanted to disappear through the floor. started keeping a notepad open in every meeting now. not to look organised, just to survive. i write the key words down before i have to say them out loud. it helps, actually. not perfect but it stops the absolute panic of feeling like my vocabulary has gone on holiday without me. also been trying to eat something proper at about 3pm because by 4 i'm basically useless. a handful of nuts or some cheese and crackers or whatever i can find. don't know if it's doing anything but the 4pm collapse feels slightly less catastrophic than it did. what i actually want to ask my GP is whether there's any connection between oestrogen dropping and the cognitive stuff, because i've read things but i don't know what questions to even ask. has anyone gone in and had a useful conversation about this rather than being told it's stress? x

Jun 13 · Posted

Can I ask something that's been bothering me for months? How do you actually tell the difference between perimenopause brain fog and just... burning out at work? I'm 46, project manager, two teenagers, commute three days a week. I have genuinely lost track of how many times I've sat in a meeting this year and gone completely blank mid-sentence. Not nervous blank. Just. Gone. The word is not there. I can see the concept, I know what I mean, and the word has simply left the building. My line manager is lovely and hasn't said anything but I can feel myself compensating constantly. I write everything down now, obsessively, in a little notebook I take everywhere like some kind of anxious Victorian clerk. It helps. Sort of. But I don't know if I'm managing a hormone thing or just exhausted or both and I can't work out which problem I'm actually trying to solve. I've got a GP appointment in three weeks and I want to go in with something useful to say rather than just 'I feel a bit dim lately'. Has anyone gone through this with their doctor? What did you actually say to make them take the cognitive stuff seriously? Every article I read talks about hot flushes and sleep but this, the sharpness thing, feels like the bit that's actually changing my life. Also separately and I realise this is a tangent but does anyone else get absolutely floored around 3pm? Like a wall. I've started bringing nuts and things to try and hold myself together through the afternoon but I feel a bit mad doing it. x

Jun 3 · Posted

Hi all. Has anyone managed to get their GP to actually engage with joint pain as a perimenopause thing? My hands and knees have been really stiff in the mornings and I mentioned it at my last appointment but it got sort of filed under 'general aches' and moved on from quite quickly. I've got a follow-up booked and I want to come prepared this time. Did anyone find a particular way of framing it that helped? Or bring anything specific that made the GP take it more seriously? Feel like I spend half my appointments on the sleep stuff and the joint thing keeps getting bumped. Thanks in advance x