Julie M

Sixty now. Periods stopped eight years ago and I still pop up in threads about sleep and joint pain and brain fog and I do sometimes wonder if people think I should have moved on by now. I haven't. And I don't think that's a failure. What I wanted to say to anyone earlier in this, the women who are exhausted and frightened and convinced it never ends, is that it does shift. Not in a straight line and not on anyone else's timetable, but it shifts. I remember being 52 and genuinely not recognising myself. Couldn't sleep past 3am for months. Couldn't string a sentence together at work. Cried in a Waitrose car park over nothing. I thought that was just going to be the rest of my life. It wasn't. What helped me, for what it's worth, was nothing dramatic. I started lifting weights at 56, just a class at the leisure centre, thought I'd hate it and actually loved it. I eat the same breakfast most mornings because decision fatigue is real and I need that one thing to be simple. And I finally went back to my GP last year with a proper list of what was still bothering me, because I'd been quietly assuming I should just get on with it. Still learning. Still tired some mornings. But I'm here and I'm glad this room exists for all of it, not just the early bit. x

Sixty now and I keep seeing posts from women in their early forties who are absolutely terrified, and I just want to say... you come out the other side. Not perfectly. Not without things to still figure out. But you do come out. I'm seven years past my last period. Still have rubbish nights sometimes, still get the joint stiffness that makes me feel about ninety when I stand up too fast. But here's the thing nobody told me at 46 when I was a wreck: the sheer panic does lift. That particular flavour of dread goes. What I've found helps me now, not prescribing anything, just what works for me, is getting to the gym twice a week for some weights work. I started really gently and honestly felt a bit daft at first but my back is so much better for it. And I eat proper protein at breakfast, eggs mostly, nothing fancy, just stopped skipping it like I used to. Those two things changed my energy more than I expected. I also finally asked my GP about ongoing symptoms properly. Wrote a list beforehand, because I used to just forget everything the minute I walked in. She actually took it seriously and we talked about long term bone health which I'd never really asked about before. You're not done with this conversation just because the flushes have eased. That's the bit I wish someone had told me. Keep asking questions. You're allowed. x

60 next month and I still come here because honestly where else are you going to talk about this stuff. For anyone who's newer and wondering if it ever settles, I just want to say: kind of yes, and also it keeps shifting, and that's not a failure. I'm four years past my last period and sleep is still the thing I manage rather than solve. Some weeks are genuinely fine. Others I'm wide awake at 3am doing mental arithmetic about nothing. What's helped me more than anything isn't dramatic. I started doing a proper strength class about eighteen months ago, two mornings a week at the leisure centre, and something about having a reason to get up and somewhere to be has done more for my head than I expected. The joint stuff is still there but it's quieter. I feel less like I'm just waiting to fall apart. Breakfast I've kept dead simple, eggs or yogurt with something in it, because if I don't eat properly before the class I'm useless by lunchtime. That's it. Not a plan, just what works for me now. I do still have a GP appointment every so often because I want to keep an eye on bones and the heart side of things long term. Worth asking about if you're heading into the later years and haven't had that conversation yet. Anyway. You're not done with this when the flushes stop. But you're also not done with feeling well. That's the bit I wish someone had told me. x

Sixty this year and I still come back to this room because nobody else in my life wants to talk about this stuff anymore. My kids think I'm sorted. My friends have moved on to grandchildren and gardens. But I'm still here, still tinkering, still figuring things out. For anyone early in this who's terrified it never gets better, I just want to say: it does shift. Not all at once and not in a straight line but something settles eventually. I remember being 53 and crying at 4am convinced I'd never sleep properly again. I'm not going to pretend I sleep perfectly now because I don't. Last night was patchy and I woke up with achy hips and lay there cataloguing everything that might be wrong with me, which is very much still a thing I do. But it's not every night the way it was. What's helped me most, genuinely, is the boring structural stuff. I do weights twice a week at the leisure centre. Nothing dramatic. I started because someone on here mentioned bone density years ago and it scared me enough to actually do something. Now I go partly because I like the women there and partly because I sleep better on those days, full stop. Breakfast I've simplified completely. Eggs or Greek yogurt, something with protein, no faff. I got tired of overthinking food so I stopped. That's not advice for anyone else, it's just what I landed on after years of trying various things. I do still have ongoing symptoms I want to talk to my GP about. The joint stuff, mainly. I've got an appointment in a few weeks and I want to actually ask proper questions this time instead of letting her wrap it up in ten minutes. I've written things down. We'll see. Anyway. Still here. Still learning. That's all really x

Sixty last month and I want to say something to the women here who are in the thick of it, because nobody said this to me and I wish they had. It does not end at the last period. I know that sounds bleak but stay with me, because the other side of that is: you do not have to be done with this conversation just because your periods stopped years ago. I am still here. Still figuring things out. Still waking at half four some mornings for absolutely no reason, still asking my GP questions she wasn't expecting from a woman who's been post-meno since 57. What has actually helped me, genuinely, is the strength training I started two years ago. I was terrified. I thought it was for younger people or people who already knew what they were doing. I was wrong. I go twice a week and I feel more solid in my own body than I did at 45. Not lighter, not thinner, just more... there. More capable. Breakfast I've kept stupidly simple. Eggs most mornings, sometimes Greek yoghurt if I can't be bothered with the hob. That's it. No regime, no rules. Just something with protein because I noticed I felt better on days I had it, full stop. I'm still going back to the GP about the sleep and the joint aches. She's lovely but I always feel like I have to remind her that menopause doesn't just close a door and walk away. I'm writing things down now before appointments, symptoms, patterns, how long things have been going on, because otherwise I walk in and forget half of it under the fluorescent lights. Anyway. To anyone newer to all this: it gets quieter. Not silent, but quieter. And you get better at listening to yourself. That part I didn't expect. x

Right, 60 here and postmeno for about four years now. I lurk a lot but I want to say something to the women who are newer to all this, the ones who are still in the thick of it wondering if they'll ever feel like themselves again. You will. Or at least, a version of yourself that you might actually prefer. I won't pretend everything sorted itself out neatly. Sleep is still the thing I manage rather than the thing I enjoy, if I'm honest. But manage it I do. I've got a whole boring little routine around it now that I'd have laughed at ten years ago. Lights down, no phone after a certain point, same rough bedtime even at weekends. Took me ages to stop fighting it. Strength training was the other thing. My daughter talked me into it and I thought it was for younger women, genuinely. I was wrong. I'm not lifting anything impressive but I feel more solid in my body than I did at 50, which still amazes me. Breakfast I've kept simple. Eggs or yoghurt, something with protein, because someone on here mentioned it and I noticed I felt steadier through the mornings. That's all it was. I've still got a GP appointment coming up because the symptoms didn't just stop when the periods did. There are questions I want to ask about bones, about long-term stuff, and I've stopped feeling embarrassed to take a list in with me. You're not being dramatic. It doesn't just end at the last period. But it does get more navigable. Sending you all a lot of love from the other side of the worst of it. x

60 next birthday and I still see women posting things like "will this ever end" and I want to reach through the screen and say: yes, mostly, but also it changes shape rather than disappearing, and that is honestly okay. I came off HRT about two years ago after a long conversation with my GP and I won't pretend the transition was seamless. Sleep went wobbly again for a good few months. Joints creaked in ways I hadn't expected. But I'm on the other side of that now and genuinely more settled than I was at 52, 54, 56. What helped me most, and I only share this as my own experience, was stopping treating my body like a problem to be solved and starting treating it like something that needed consistent low-drama maintenance. I do a short strength session three times a week. Nothing dramatic. I eat something with protein in it before I leave the house in the morning, usually eggs or yoghurt, because I noticed I was just having tea and then feeling awful by 10am. That's it. That's the whole glamorous secret. Sleep is still not perfect. I want to be honest about that because I think some of us expect it to snap back and then feel like we've failed when it doesn't. But it's manageable. I'm not lying awake for two hours catastrophising anymore. I've got an appointment coming up and I'm planning to ask properly about bone health and how to think about the next decade. I keep meaning to write my questions down beforehand so I don't walk out having forgotten the main one, which is absolutely what happened last time 😂 Anyway. For anyone early in this who's scared it'll always be this intense: it won't. You'll still be here, still figuring things out, but you'll have more tools than you do right now. That's worth something x

Hello wise ladies. 60 here, fully out the other side, and I lurk on this forum partly to feel useful and partly because, honestly, I still need it. For anyone earlier in the process feeling like it will always be this hard: it does shift. I won't promise it disappears because that would be a lie, but the acute chaos, the not knowing what your body is doing from one week to the next, that does settle. I remember being 52 and genuinely not recognising myself. Now I feel like myself again, just a different version. What helped me most, and this is just my experience, was getting consistent with movement. I do strength work twice a week now, nothing dramatic, and I've kept my breakfast boring on purpose, same thing, enough protein, doesn't require thought. It frees up energy for everything else. I've still got ongoing stuff I manage, joint aches, the odd terrible night, a GP who I have to push a bit. But I'm not frightened by it anymore. That's the thing I want to hand forward to anyone who's in the frightening part right now. You learn your body again. It takes time but you do. x

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Mara, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Yvonne. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Mara, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 13 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Joan, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 11 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Stephanie, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.