14 Jun
Sixty this year and I still come back to this room because nobody else in my life wants to talk about this stuff anymore. My kids think I'm sorted. My friends have moved on to grandchildren and gardens. But I'm still here, still tinkering, still figuring things out. For anyone early in this who's terrified it never gets better, I just want to say: it does shift. Not all at once and not in a straight line but something settles eventually. I remember being 53 and crying at 4am convinced I'd never sleep properly again. I'm not going to pretend I sleep perfectly now because I don't. Last night was patchy and I woke up with achy hips and lay there cataloguing everything that might be wrong with me, which is very much still a thing I do. But it's not every night the way it was. What's helped me most, genuinely, is the boring structural stuff. I do weights twice a week at the leisure centre. Nothing dramatic. I started because someone on here mentioned bone density years ago and it scared me enough to actually do something. Now I go partly because I like the women there and partly because I sleep better on those days, full stop. Breakfast I've simplified completely. Eggs or Greek yogurt, something with protein, no faff. I got tired of overthinking food so I stopped. That's not advice for anyone else, it's just what I landed on after years of trying various things. I do still have ongoing symptoms I want to talk to my GP about. The joint stuff, mainly. I've got an appointment in a few weeks and I want to actually ask proper questions this time instead of letting her wrap it up in ten minutes. I've written things down. We'll see. Anyway. Still here. Still learning. That's all really x