Lesley R

Jun 21 · Posted

Right so this is embarrassing to admit but I genuinely nearly cried in the car on the way home this evening. For context: the last few months have been grim. I'm a senior project manager. I run meetings. I present to directors. And I have spent the better part of this year standing at the front of a room with the word I need just... gone. Not on the tip of my tongue. Just gone. I've been saying things like "the, you know, the document, the main one" and hoping people fill in the blanks. They do, bless them, but I know. I always know. Today I was in a session with the head of ops and I needed the word "contingency" and it was just THERE. I said it. Normally and in the right sentence and everything. I didn't have to pause and rephrase and do the little hand gesture I've developed to buy myself three seconds. I know this sounds tiny. It is tiny. But I've been so quietly terrified that I'm losing something that I'm not going to get back. I've been writing everything down before meetings for weeks now, like little cheat sheets, which helps but also makes me feel like I'm failing somehow. I don't know if the protein at lunch is doing anything or if the strength training is helping my sleep which is helping my brain or if today was just a good day. Genuinely no idea. But I'm writing it down because I want to remember that good days exist. If you're in the fog right now, I see you. It's so lonely when you can't explain it to anyone. x

Jun 20 · Posted

53 and genuinely asking because I cannot work it out: is this brain fog or am I just completely burned out? I've been in my job fifteen years. I know this stuff. And yet last week I sat in a team meeting and could not for the life of me finish a sentence coherently. Not one. My manager was looking at me and I could see her face doing that thing and I wanted to disappear through the floor. The thing is I can't separate it. I've been knackered for years, two teenagers, ageing parents, a job that expanded during covid and never went back down. So is it hormones or is it just... life finally catching up? How do you even tell? I've started bringing proper lunches to work, more protein, less sad desk sandwich, because someone on here mentioned it ages ago and I thought fine, I'll try it. Genuinely not sure if it's helping the fog or just making me feel like I'm doing something. Afternoons are slightly less catastrophic maybe?? Hard to say. I do want to talk to my GP about it but I'm worried she'll just say stress. Which, yes. But also I'm 53 and my cycles are all over the place and surely that's relevant? Does anyone have a way of describing this to a doctor that doesn't sound like you're just tired and a bit sad. Because I am tired and a bit sad but I think there's more going on x

Jun 18 · Posted

53 and honestly not sure if I'm burning out or going mad or both. I've been a senior project manager for eleven years. I run meetings. I write reports. I am the person who keeps track of things. And lately I am sitting in my own team stand-ups and losing the thread of what I was saying mid-sentence. Last week I said "the thing, the document, you know the one" to my line manager. I am a grown adult professional woman. I wanted to disappear through the floor. The thing is I genuinely cannot work out if this is perimenopause brain fog or just... burnout from three years of relentless pressure. Maybe both? Do they even feel different? Because right now it just feels like someone has replaced my brain with warm porridge. I've started doing something a bit weird which is eating an actual proper lunch with protein in it, eggs or chicken or whatever, instead of grabbing a sad desk biscuit at 3pm and wondering why I can't form a sentence by four o'clock. Too early to say if it's doing anything but I feel slightly less desperate by the afternoon, maybe. I want to go to my GP but I don't know how to explain it without sounding vague. Like, "I used to be sharp and now I'm not" doesn't feel like enough. Has anyone actually had a useful conversation with their GP about the cognitive stuff specifically? What did you say? What questions worked? x

Jun 16 · Replied

Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Cerys. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 16 · Posted

Hi all. 53, been lurking. Brain fog at work is getting embarrassing. Is this peri or am I just burnt out? x

Jun 16 · Replied

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Just popping back to say thank you, especially Bryony. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 15 · Posted

53 and I genuinely cannot decide if my brain has gone on strike because of perimenopause or because I have been running on empty for about three years. Probably both. Probably impossible to separate. Work has been the thing that's really scared me. I've been in my role for eleven years and I used to be the person who could hold six conversations in my head at once. Now I sit in a meeting and the word I need just... isn't there. I watched myself yesterday say 'the thing, the report, the, you know, the one we do quarterly' to my director. She waited very patiently. I wanted to disappear into the floor. I started eating more protein at lunch about three weeks ago after reading something on here. Nothing dramatic, just eggs or chicken or sometimes just a big handful of nuts before I go back to my desk. I was sceptical honestly. But the 3pm slump where I used to basically stop functioning? It's not gone but it's less like a wall and more like a hill. That's the best I can describe it. I've got a GP appointment coming up and I want to ask specifically about the link between oestrogen and cognitive stuff. Not just 'I'm a bit tired', I want to actually go in with examples. The quarterly report thing. The three times last month I forgot a colleague's name mid-sentence. Whether what I'm experiencing is hormonal or whether I'm just burnt out and need to quit everything and move to a cottage. Has anyone actually had a useful conversation with their GP about brain fog specifically? Not just been told to rest more? x

Jun 11 · Replied

Community post

Thank you Steph, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 11 · Posted

53 and genuinely trying to work out whether what's happening to my brain is perimenopause or just... years of working too hard. Because how do you even tell the difference? I used to be the person who remembered everything. Client names, project details, what was said in a meeting six months ago. Now I'm sitting in a Teams call yesterday and the word 'procurement' just vanished. Gone. I said 'the, um, buying process people' and my manager definitely noticed. So I've started this slightly embarrassing experiment with my lunch. I kept reading that protein at midday might help with the afternoon fog, and honestly at this point I'll try anything that doesn't require a prescription. For three weeks I've been bringing actual proper lunches instead of grabbing a sad sandwich and eating it at my desk while answering emails. Eggs, chicken, that kind of thing. I'm not entirely sure it's doing anything yet but I haven't faceplanted quite as badly at 3pm this week, so. The thing I actually want to know, and I'm hoping someone here has thought about this: when you went to your GP about brain fog, how did you describe it? I want to go in with something more useful than 'I feel thick'. I've been jotting down specific moments at work, the word-finding stuff, forgetting what I was about to say mid-sentence, losing the thread of conversations. Is that the kind of thing that's worth mentioning in terms of hormones, or do GPs just tell you to sleep more and reduce stress? Because I've had that conversation before and I cannot cope with having it again.

Jun 3 · Posted

Right. Itchy skin. Can we talk about this properly because I feel like it gets buried under the hot flushes conversation and honestly some days the itching is worse than the sweating. I've been through a fair bit over the last year. Started with the usual suspects, the E45 and Aveeno type stuff, which are fine but didn't really touch the deep itchy feeling, the one that's sort of under the skin rather than on it. You know the one. Then someone on here (or maybe it was a different group, I lose track) mentioned oat-based bath soaks and I was sceptical because I am always sceptical, but actually that helped a bit for the evening restlessness. Currently using a body oil from a small brand I found on Instagram, which I know sounds like exactly the kind of thing I'd normally roll my eyes at, but my skin genuinely feels less angry. Won't name it yet because I've only been using it three weeks and I don't want to be that person who raves about something and then retracts it. What I have NOT got on with: anything heavily fragranced (obvious in hindsight), a very hyped magnesium lotion that did absolutely nothing except make me smell like a swimming pool, and those cooling gel things marketed at hot flushes that just made the itch worse. Also tried going back to basics with just plain coconut oil and honestly? Not terrible. Bit greasy. Smells like a Bounty bar which is either a pro or a con depending on your mood. So. What are people actually rating? UK brands preferred just because of postage and faff. And if anyone has cracked the under-skin itch specifically I will be your best friend x