Lori

Stood in the middle of a presentation last Tuesday and completely lost the thread. Not just the word, the actual thread of what I was saying. Just... gone. I could see my manager's face doing that polite waiting thing and I wanted to disappear through the floor. I've been a comms manager for twelve years. Twelve years. I don't lose threads. I'm 51 and I genuinely don't know if this is perimenopause or if I'm just exhausted or both, but something has shifted and it's starting to scare me a bit. I used to be the one people came to when they needed something explained clearly. Now I'm standing there grasping at words like they're soap in the bath. The only thing that's helped even slightly is keeping a proper sleep cutoff. I used to answer emails until 11pm because that's just how the job is. I've been trying to stop at half nine and actually get horizontal by ten. On the nights I manage it I'm not fixed but I'm... less underwater the next day. That's genuinely the best I can say for it. Also been experimenting with what I eat around 3pm because the afternoon crash is when the fog is worst. Used to grab whatever biscuits were in the kitchen. Now I'm trying to have something with a bit more substance before the crash hits rather than after. Still working out what actually makes a difference vs what I just hope is making a difference. When I finally see my GP I want to be able to describe this properly, the work stuff specifically, not just "I feel tired". Has anyone found a good way to explain cognitive slips to their doctor without sounding like you're being dramatic? Because I'm not being dramatic. This is my livelihood and it's wobbling. x

Lost the word "provisional" in a meeting today. Just... gone. Sat there smiling like I hadn't been using that word for twenty years while my brain frantically searched the filing cabinet and found absolutely nothing. My colleague filled it in for me and I wanted to disappear under the table. I'm 51 and I've always been the one people come to when they need something explained clearly. That's been my whole thing at work. And lately I'm stumbling mid-sentence, reading the same email three times, leaving meetings with no memory of what was agreed. I don't know if this is peri or just burnout or both at the same time having a party. But I've started going to bed at a fixed time no matter what, even if I lie there staring at the ceiling for a bit, because the days when I've had genuinely broken sleep are the days my brain is completely offline by 2pm. That much I've noticed. Also trying to eat something with actual protein in the afternoon rather than biscuits. Today it was a boiled egg and some oatcakes from my desk drawer. Felt slightly less desperate by 4 o'clock so maybe something in that. I'm seeing my GP next month and I want to describe this properly, not just say "I'm a bit forgetful" which sounds nothing. I've been jotting down actual examples. Today's will be going in. Does anyone else do this? x

51 and something happened in my appraisal last week that I still haven't fully gotten over. My manager asked me to summarise the project outcomes and I just... sat there. I knew what I wanted to say. It was all there somewhere. But the words came out in the wrong order and then stopped altogether and I ended up saying "you know, the thing, the data thing" like an absolute liability. I've worked in this field for nearly twenty years. I don't know if this is perimenopause or burnout or both happening at the same time and honestly I'm not sure it matters because the effect is the same. I sit in meetings now and I write everything down in advance because I genuinely cannot trust what will come out of my mouth if I wing it. Pre-meeting notes, mid-meeting notes, post-meeting notes. I am essentially a one-woman paper trail just to function at the level I managed effortlessly five years ago. The other thing I've started noticing is the 3pm wall. Not tired exactly, more like someone turned the brightness down on my brain. I've been keeping a bag of mixed nuts and a couple of oatcakes at my desk because I read something about blood sugar and cognition and I'll try anything at this point. Genuinely no idea if it's helping but it gives me something to do that isn't panicking. Sleep is the other piece. I've started going to bed at the same time every night like a child, no screens after half ten, which my teenagers find hilarious. But the nights I actually sleep properly I am measurably better the next day. That much I'm certain of. Going to the GP next month and I want to explain how this is affecting my work specifically, not just "I'm a bit fuzzy". Has anyone done that? Brought actual examples? I keep wondering if they'll take it more seriously if I come in with a list of concrete incidents rather than just describing a vague feeling x

The word was RIGHT THERE. I could see the shape of it. My manager was looking at me, the whole room was waiting, and I just said "the... document thing" and moved on like that was normal. I'm 51. I've been doing this job for twelve years. I keep telling myself it's tiredness. Or stress. Or just having a lot on. But honestly it's been months of this and I'm starting to feel like a different, slower version of myself at work. I used to be the one who had the answer before the question was finished. Now I'm secretly terrified someone's going to notice. I've been trying to eat something decent around 3pm because I noticed the worst fog hits me mid-afternoon and I'd been running on nothing since lunch. Not sure if it's doing much but it feels better than just suffering through it. And I've been going to bed at the same time every night this week which I haven't done since my kids were small. I want to go to my GP but I don't quite know how to explain it without sounding vague. "I forgot a word in a meeting" doesn't feel like enough. Does anyone else keep a note of these moments? Like actual examples to show someone? I feel like I need evidence before I'm taken seriously.

51 and I've started dreading Thursday afternoons more than anything else in my working life, which is saying something because I once had a line manager who ate tuna pasta at his desk every single day. We have a team catch-up at 3pm and I used to be the one who drove those meetings. Came in with ideas, remembered context from weeks back, could hold a whole project in my head. Now I sit there and the words just... go. Not big words, normal ones. Last week I wanted to say "consecutive" and I ended up saying "the ones that come after each other" like I was explaining it to a child. My colleague very kindly filled in the blank. She thought she was being helpful. I wanted to cry in the car park. I don't know if this is peri or just what happens when you've been running on empty for three years. Probably both? My GP has been fine but I've never actually told her how bad it is at work specifically, I've sort of downplayed it because I felt embarrassed. Going to try and write down some actual examples before my next appointment. Not vague "I forget things sometimes" but proper incidents, dates, what I was trying to do. The 3pm crash is its own problem. I've been experimenting with what I eat at lunch because someone in another thread mentioned protein making a difference to the afternoon. Early days but I've switched from whatever sad desk sandwich I was grabbing to something more substantial and I do think the drop isn't quite as brutal? Could be coincidence. Also trying to protect my sleep a bit more rigidly, phone off earlier, no more doom-scrolling at midnight. Whether any of it is actually helping the fog or just making me feel like I'm doing something, I genuinely can't tell yet. Anyone else had to rebuild their confidence at work because of this? I keep second-guessing everything I say in meetings now and that's almost worse than the actual forgetting. x

Right so this happened again today and I need to put it somewhere. Stood up to present to my team, twelve people I've worked with for years, and the word just... went. Not a complicated word either. I wanted to say "capacity" and I stood there opening and closing my mouth like a fish for what felt like forty minutes but was probably three seconds. My colleague finished the sentence for me. She was kind about it. I wanted to cry in the loos afterwards. I'm 51 and I genuinely don't know if this is perimenopause or whether I've just finally burnt out after two years of hybrid working and being everything to everyone. Probably both. Probably neither. Probably I need a holiday and a full blood panel and a good cry. The afternoon is the worst. 3pm and my brain just folds. I've started keeping a cereal bar in my desk drawer because someone on here mentioned the afternoon crash and honestly even just having something with a bit of protein in it seems to take the edge off slightly. Not a fix. Just... less awful. Sleep is the other thing I'm trying to get a handle on. I've been strict about getting off my phone by 10 because the nights I don't I wake up at 2am and that's it, I'm done, and the next day at work is a disaster. I've got a GP appointment in three weeks and I want to actually describe this properly rather than going in and saying "I feel a bit foggy" and getting nowhere. So I've been writing down the work stuff specifically. The meeting where I lost my thread mid-sentence. The report that took me three times longer than it should have. The email I sent to the wrong person because I just wasn't tracking properly. Real examples. Dates. I want her to understand it's not vague, it's affecting my job. Anyway. Hi. I've been reading this room for a while and apparently today was the day I finally typed all that out. x

51 and something shifted this year that I can't quite explain. I've always been the one in meetings who remembers everything, who finishes other people's sentences, who catches the thing nobody wrote down. And now I'm the one who stops mid-sentence and just... floats there. Yesterday I completely lost the word 'procurement'. I work in procurement. I've worked in procurement for eleven years. I smiled and said 'sorry, brain's a bit slow today' and everyone laughed and moved on, but inside I was mortified. It's happening more and more and I'm starting to dread speaking up in front of senior people in case I just go blank. I've been wondering whether this is peri or whether I've just burned myself out, because honestly it could be either. Maybe both. I don't know. I started keeping a little note in my phone before meetings, just words I might need. Feels a bit ridiculous at 51 but it genuinely helps. Also trying to sort out my sleep because I read somewhere that's where memory consolidation happens and I've been getting about five broken hours which can't be helping. Has anyone actually gone to their GP and described it in work terms? Like specifically said 'this is affecting my job'? I feel like if I just say 'a bit forgetful' they'll tell me to drink more water. But if I said I nearly lost my thread presenting to the board last month, that feels more... real? I'm trying to frame it properly before I make an appointment x

51 and I lost the word 'provisional' in a meeting today. Just... gone. I could see the concept, I knew what I meant, I even gestured vaguely at the air like that would help, and my colleague finished my sentence for me with this very kind look on her face that was somehow worse than if she'd laughed. I've been a project manager for nearly fifteen years. Words are basically my whole job. I don't know if this is peri or burnout or just... me now? But it's getting harder to pretend it's nothing. I came home and wrote down three specific moments from this week where my brain just dropped something mid-sentence or mid-thought. I'm going to take that list to my GP because I can't just say 'I feel a bit foggy' and expect to be taken seriously. I need actual examples. The only thing I've noticed that seems to help slightly is not skipping lunch. I've been grabbing something with a bit of protein in the afternoon when I feel that 3pm slump coming, and the worst crashes are less frequent. Could be coincidence. But I'm sleeping more deliberately too, actually going to bed before midnight instead of doom-scrolling until 1am, and the mornings feel fractionally less awful. Small things. I'm not fixed. But I wanted to write it down somewhere that people might actually understand what I mean. x

Lost the word 'infrastructure' in a meeting today. I KNOW this word. I've used it approximately four thousand times in my career. Just stood there, mouth open, while my colleague very kindly said it for me. The look on my face must have been a picture. I'm 51 and I genuinely cannot tell if this is perimenopause or if I've just finally burned out after a very long year. Both? Probably both. What I do know is the afternoons are the worst. By 3pm my brain is basically static. I've started keeping a little bag of mixed nuts and some oat crackers in my desk drawer because I noticed the crash was hitting harder when I'd skipped a proper lunch, and something about having an actual snack (not just coffee, which I was basically mainlining) seems to take the sharp edge off it. Not a cure. Just slightly less useless between 3 and 5. Sleep is the other thing I'm trying to be more deliberate about. Phone off by 10, which I am failing at approximately 60% of the time, but the nights I manage it I do feel marginally more human the next day. I've got a GP appointment coming up and I want to actually describe this properly, not just say 'I feel a bit foggy'. So I've been writing things down. Specific moments. Like today. 'Could not retrieve the word infrastructure in a team meeting, had to pause for approximately 8 seconds.' That feels more real than 'my memory isn't great'. Has anyone else framed it to their GP like this? I want to be taken seriously and not just told I'm tired. x

51 and something happened in a meeting on Thursday that I keep replaying. My manager asked me a direct question, something I genuinely know the answer to, and I just... sat there. The word I needed was completely gone. Not on the tip of my tongue, not anywhere. I eventually said something vague and moved on but I could feel my face going red and I spent the rest of the afternoon convinced everyone noticed. This is not who I am at work. I've been in this job eleven years. I used to be the person who had everything in her head. I've started writing things down before calls now, like actual bullet points of what I want to say, which helps but also makes me feel like I'm compensating for something I shouldn't need to compensate for yet. I'm 51, not 81. Sleep is all over the place as well and I wonder how much of this is that rather than something hormonal, or whether they're the same thing. Genuinely don't know. I'm trying to get to bed at a consistent time this week, just to see if it changes anything, but three nights in and I've woken at 3am twice so. Also been noticing I crash badly around 3pm and end up eating whatever's in the vending machine. Trying to keep something with actual protein in my bag now. Feels like I'm managing symptoms of symptoms at this point. Does anyone else feel like they need to document these things before a GP appointment? Like I want to go in with actual examples, not just "I feel a bit foggy sometimes" because I know how that sounds. x

51 and I used to be the person in meetings who could pull the right word out of thin air, every time. Last Tuesday I stopped mid-sentence in front of my whole team and genuinely could not remember the word "threshold". Stood there. Smiled. Said "you know, the... the point where it tips over" and moved on like I meant to do that. I didn't mean to do that. I've started writing everything down before I speak now. Like actual bullet points before a ten-minute catch-up with my line manager. It helps but it also makes me feel like I'm revising for an exam just to do my job. The afternoons are the worst. By 3pm my brain is basically static. I've been having a handful of nuts and some cheese around then instead of the biscuits I used to grab, and honestly the crash feels slightly less brutal? Not fixed, just... less of a cliff edge. Sleep is the thing I'm trying to properly sort. I keep reading that it matters and I do believe it, but I'm also a mum of two teenagers so "good sleep" is a bit of a theoretical concept in this house. I want to go back to my GP with actual examples. Real ones. "This happened on this date, this is how it affected my work." Because last time I said I was struggling and she basically said stress and sent me off. I need her to understand this isn't just tired. This is something else. x

Right. 51. And I lost the word 'procurement' in a meeting on Thursday. Just... gone. I'm the procurement lead. I've been saying that word approximately forty times a week for nine years. I stood there and said 'the, um, the buying side of things' and moved on like nothing happened and then went to the loo and had a quiet crisis. It's not the first time. Last month I blanked on a colleague's name mid-introduction. Claire. I've known Claire since 2019. I genuinely don't know if this is peri or if I've just finally burned out or both at the same time, which honestly seems unfair. My GP was... fine, I suppose, but she didn't really ask about work. I'm thinking I need to go back and actually spell it out. Like, here are the specific things that have happened, here is what it cost me professionally, here is why I'm not just a bit tired. The thing I'm doing at the moment is keeping a small notepad by my laptop. Every meeting, I write down the three things I actually need to say before I go in. It helps. Slightly humiliating that I need it, but it helps. Also started trying to eat something with actual protein around 3pm because the afternoon slump was making the fog so much worse. A boiled egg and some crackers, nothing fancy. Whether it's doing anything I can't say but I feel less desperate by 5 o'clock. Sleep is the other thing I'm trying to sort. I was staying up too late doom-scrolling and then lying there wired. Gave myself a hard stop on screens and it's marginally better. Marginally. Anyone else feel like they're managing the symptoms of a condition nobody's actually confirmed they have yet? 😩

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Tina. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Tina. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Polly. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Polly. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 13 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Cerys, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 10 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Tina. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 8 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Steph, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 7 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Polly, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.