Stephanie P
MemberMom, Gen X, tired but still funny. 54. Here for the real talk.
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Activity (8)
Jun 19 · Posted
Okay so I don't want to be that person who swoops in with a "I fixed it" post because honestly I know how much those can sting when you're in the thick of it. But I promised myself if things got better I'd come back and say so, because I really needed to read posts like this when I was at my worst. About eight weeks ago I was waking up soaked through at 2am, then lying there with my heart pounding for an hour, then dragging myself through the day on fumes. The hot flashes were relentless. I was snapping at my kids, crying in the car, convinced I was just falling apart permanently. I did eventually get to see a different OBGYN after my first one basically shrugged at me, and things have slowly shifted. I'm also just... eating breakfast now. Like actually eating it, with protein, before I do anything else. I started tracking my sleep and mood in a little notes app, nothing fancy, just a line or two each morning. I can look back and see that the really bad stretches were shorter than they felt at the time. That alone helped my brain stop catastrophizing. I also started doing some strength work twice a week. I don't know what's doing what, honestly. I'm not going to pretend I have it figured out. I still have bad nights. Last Tuesday was rough. But I have more good days than bad now and a few weeks ago I genuinely could not have said that. If you're in the awful part right now, I just want you to know it can shift. I remember reading posts like this and thinking "yeah but that won't be me" and I just want to gently push back on that. Sending so much love to this community. You got me through some really dark 3am moments. 💙 ETA: still have a follow-up appointment next month and there are things I still want to talk through, so not declaring victory, just... reporting in.
Jun 16 · Replied
Community post
Thank you Elaine, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Jun 16 · Posted
Week three of logging breakfast, sleep, and one walk a day. Nothing dramatic to report but I slept past 4am twice. Writing it down so I remember this felt possible.
Jun 16 · Posted
Okay so I want to share something that genuinely changed how my follow-up appointment went, because I wish someone had told me this earlier. For a long time I was going to my OBGYN and kind of blanking. Like I'd have this whole week of bad nights and hot flashes and then sit in the office and say "yeah it's been okay I guess." I don't know why I do that. Some combination of not wanting to be dramatic and just... forgetting everything the second I'm in the room. So about eight weeks ago I started keeping a really simple daily note. Nothing fancy, just a note on my phone. Sleep quality out of 5, whether I had a hot flash and roughly when, mood in one word, energy in one word. That's it. Some days I'd add a sentence if something stood out, like "woke up at 3am soaked" or "could not string a sentence together at work." When I went back in, I had eight weeks of actual data instead of a vague feeling. I could say here's the pattern, here's what's improved, here's what hasn't. My doctor said it was one of the more useful things a patient had brought in. I don't say that to brag, I say it because I used to feel like I was performing wellness in appointments and this made me feel like I actually had something to show. I'm still figuring out what's working for me personally, and I'm not going to pretend everything is solved. But having that record meant we could have a real conversation about what still needs attention instead of starting from scratch every time. If you're heading into an appointment soon and feeling like you'll forget everything, even just a week of notes might help you feel less like you're grasping for words. ETA: the format really doesn't matter. Mine is genuinely embarrassingly basic. Just start somewhere.
Jun 15 · Replied
Community post
Thank you Patricia, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Jun 15 · Posted
Anyone tried those cooling mattress pads? Hot flashes are winning lately and I'm desperate. US recs preferred, honest reviews only please 😩
Jun 10 · Replied
Community post
Thank you Elaine, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Jun 10 · Posted
Hot flash in a meeting today while presenting. Again. I smiled through it. I am so tired of smiling through it.
Posts (5)
Okay so I don't want to be that person who swoops in with a "I fixed it" post because honestly I know how much those can sting when you're in the thick of it. But I promised myself if things got better I'd come back and say so, because I really needed to read posts like this when I was at my worst. About eight weeks ago I was waking up soaked through at 2am, then lying there with my heart pounding for an hour, then dragging myself through the day on fumes. The hot flashes were relentless. I was snapping at my kids, crying in the car, convinced I was just falling apart permanently. I did eventually get to see a different OBGYN after my first one basically shrugged at me, and things have slowly shifted. I'm also just... eating breakfast now. Like actually eating it, with protein, before I do anything else. I started tracking my sleep and mood in a little notes app, nothing fancy, just a line or two each morning. I can look back and see that the really bad stretches were shorter than they felt at the time. That alone helped my brain stop catastrophizing. I also started doing some strength work twice a week. I don't know what's doing what, honestly. I'm not going to pretend I have it figured out. I still have bad nights. Last Tuesday was rough. But I have more good days than bad now and a few weeks ago I genuinely could not have said that. If you're in the awful part right now, I just want you to know it can shift. I remember reading posts like this and thinking "yeah but that won't be me" and I just want to gently push back on that. Sending so much love to this community. You got me through some really dark 3am moments. 💙 ETA: still have a follow-up appointment next month and there are things I still want to talk through, so not declaring victory, just... reporting in.
Week three of logging breakfast, sleep, and one walk a day. Nothing dramatic to report but I slept past 4am twice. Writing it down so I remember this felt possible.
Okay so I want to share something that genuinely changed how my follow-up appointment went, because I wish someone had told me this earlier. For a long time I was going to my OBGYN and kind of blanking. Like I'd have this whole week of bad nights and hot flashes and then sit in the office and say "yeah it's been okay I guess." I don't know why I do that. Some combination of not wanting to be dramatic and just... forgetting everything the second I'm in the room. So about eight weeks ago I started keeping a really simple daily note. Nothing fancy, just a note on my phone. Sleep quality out of 5, whether I had a hot flash and roughly when, mood in one word, energy in one word. That's it. Some days I'd add a sentence if something stood out, like "woke up at 3am soaked" or "could not string a sentence together at work." When I went back in, I had eight weeks of actual data instead of a vague feeling. I could say here's the pattern, here's what's improved, here's what hasn't. My doctor said it was one of the more useful things a patient had brought in. I don't say that to brag, I say it because I used to feel like I was performing wellness in appointments and this made me feel like I actually had something to show. I'm still figuring out what's working for me personally, and I'm not going to pretend everything is solved. But having that record meant we could have a real conversation about what still needs attention instead of starting from scratch every time. If you're heading into an appointment soon and feeling like you'll forget everything, even just a week of notes might help you feel less like you're grasping for words. ETA: the format really doesn't matter. Mine is genuinely embarrassingly basic. Just start somewhere.
Anyone tried those cooling mattress pads? Hot flashes are winning lately and I'm desperate. US recs preferred, honest reviews only please 😩
Hot flash in a meeting today while presenting. Again. I smiled through it. I am so tired of smiling through it.
Likes & Replies (3)
Jun 16 · Replied to Community post
Thank you Elaine, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Jun 15 · Replied to Community post
Thank you Patricia, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Jun 10 · Replied to Community post
Thank you Elaine, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
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Comments (3)
Thank you Elaine, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Thank you Patricia, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Thank you Elaine, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.