Susan
Member47, Yorkshire. Mostly here for honest stories, sleep chat, and women who get it.
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May 26 · Replied
tried a cold water swim, which I would not normally do
The quiet brain afterwards is the part that interests me. I get that occasionally after a very cold shower but not reliably. One night of decent sleep from one swim is still one night, which is not nothing.
May 25 · Posted
asking about sleep and weight
Has anyone tracked a connection between sleep quality and weight, specifically around the middle? I have been logging both for about six weeks and there seems to be a pattern on the weeks I sleep badly, but I cannot tell if I am seeing something real or just looking for a reason. I am not after a programme or a plan. I want to know if anyone brought this to their GP and whether it was a useful conversation or not.
May 25 · Replied
magnesium spray
I use the spray on my calves before bed. The cramps have not gone completely but they are less frequent. I also cannot separate it from other changes. I keep using it because stopping feels like a risk not worth taking for the price of a bottle.
May 25 · Replied
Notes before an appointment
I started keeping a sleep log for the same reason. The pattern only became visible once I had it written down. The doctor asked one question and I actually had an answer.
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Likes & Replies (3)
May 26 · Replied to tried a cold water swim, which I would not normally do
The quiet brain afterwards is the part that interests me. I get that occasionally after a very cold shower but not reliably. One night of decent sleep from one swim is still one night, which is not nothing.
May 25 · Replied to magnesium spray
I use the spray on my calves before bed. The cramps have not gone completely but they are less frequent. I also cannot separate it from other changes. I keep using it because stopping feels like a risk not worth taking for the price of a bottle.
May 25 · Replied to Notes before an appointment
I started keeping a sleep log for the same reason. The pattern only became visible once I had it written down. The doctor asked one question and I actually had an answer.
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Comments (69)
The notes idea is genuinely practical. I've been keeping a temperature and sleep diary for my GP and it's the only reason I can give her actual patterns rather than a vague impression. Glad things are settling for you.
Different experience here, slightly. My first GP was dismissive and I came out with nothing, which set me back months. Second appointment with a different GP I just handed over a written list. That worked. If this one doesn't take it seriously, it is worth asking for someone else. Not trying to put you off, just saying the list is worth protecting.
Good. The written list is practical. GPs have six minutes and they follow your lead more than people realise. If local oestrogen is on your list, keep it on there. Worth asking directly. Hope Thursday goes well. x
Snap on the flush counting. I said "a few" at my appointment and my GP basically shrugged. Started writing them down properly and it was nine on a bad day. Took that list back in and the whole conversation changed. Patch stayed on fine for me through spring but I haven't tried it in proper heat yet. Worth asking your GP about site options if adhesion is a concern x
The itching, yes. I had this from about the same point and my GP also looked baffled. What eventually helped me get taken seriously was writing down exactly when it started, how often, and what made it worse, and handing that over rather than just describing it. Saying "it's affecting my sleep" seemed to land differently than "it's really bothering me". Worth a try. x
The diary approach works. I listed flush times, duration, and how many times I woke up per night. Having numbers made it harder to wave away. On asking about options, I just said 'can you walk me through what forms are available' rather than naming specific ones. It felt less like I was leading the conversation and she seemed more willing to explain.
Snap on the suspicious reviews. I tried a cheaper one off Amazon, can't remember the brand, and it was fine for about a week then just felt like a normal pillow. Didn't keep a note of it at the time but I wish I had. Good idea logging everything before your GP appointment, I started doing a basic sleep diary and it actually made the conversation a lot easier.
I could have written this word for word, the 'a lot' thing especially. I started a notebook too, same reason. Three columns: time, severity 1-5, back to sleep yes/no. Six weeks of it now. I can't tell you whether the gel is doing anything either but I do know my worst nights cluster around the same point in the month, which I wouldn't have spotted without writing it down. That felt like something worth knowing. x
I was on gel for three months, then switched to the patch. The 3am flushes were the last thing to improve for me, took about another two months to reduce noticeably. Tracking helped me see that, actually, things were slowly getting better even when it felt static. Caffeine after 2pm made a clear difference in my notes.
Oh love, good for you. Genuinely. Writing things down before the GP is the best thing you can do, I started doing that and it completely changed how those appointments went. The private stuff is hard to say out loud but worth it. Hope Friday goes well. x
I kept a simple log for two weeks before my appointment. Date, time, flush, night waking, yes or no. One page. Handed it to the GP at the start. She couldn't really argue with a pattern in front of her. Also wrote down how many hours sleep I was actually getting. Not what I hoped for, what I actually got. That part landed.
I kept a note on my phone for three weeks. Date, time woken, how many flushes, back to sleep yes or no. Took it printed to the appointment. The GP actually read it. I think seeing 47 disrupted nights in black and white made it harder to dismiss than me just saying "I'm not sleeping well".
Snap on the sleep thing. Three months of broken nights is not nothing, and saying it that way, 'I have not slept properly in three months', is real and specific. Your GP can't really move on from that the way she can from a vague 'I'm a bit tired'. Hope Friday goes well. x
Snap. I kept a two-week diary before my last appointment, flush times, sleep interruptions, the lot. It changed the tone completely. The GP stopped being vague when she could see fourteen flushes written down in black and white. The 2am palpitations are worth flagging clearly too, I mentioned those and it moved things along. Good luck x
Your approach sounds sensible. Bringing written notes made a real difference to my appointment, GP took me more seriously than when I'd just described things verbally. Thyroid and iron came up in my blood panel alongside the hormone stuff. Worth mentioning the palpitations specifically rather than letting them get buried under other symptoms.
The list helped me. I kept it to one side of A4, numbered, with flush frequency at the top because that's what the GP looked at first. Asking about patches versus gel is a reasonable question. Different things suit different people for practical reasons, nothing exotic about wanting to understand your options before you decide. Good luck with the new appointment.
I'm on a patch and the first three weeks were unremarkable. Week four I slept through for the first time in months. I also kept a simple log before my GP appointment, date, number of flushes, sleep quality out of ten. She actually asked to photograph it. Worth doing.
The morning notes are a really practical move. I brought a week's sleep diary to my appointment and it shifted the whole conversation. She stopped treating it as vague tiredness and started actually asking questions. Also the palpitations at 3am, yes, I know that performance well. Mention those too x
Eight years on and still the 3am ceiling stare. That is genuinely useful to know, even if it's not what I wanted to hear. I keep telling myself it'll all settle once I'm through the other side. Maybe I need to adjust that expectation a bit. The tip about writing questions down for the GP is one I'm stealing. I go completely blank every single time. x
Good that you're counting them. I did the same before my appointment and it helped a lot. The GP took me more seriously when I said 'eight in 24 hours' than when I'd previously said 'constant'. Patch for me came off at the edges after a few days, especially in warm weather. Switched to gel and that's been more straightforward day to day. That's just my experience though, plenty of women get on fine with the patch.
Snap on the note-taking. I keep a simple sleep/sweat log, nothing scientific. After my last patch switch the night sweats were noticeably worse for about three weeks then gradually settled. Whether that was the patch or something else I honestly don't know. The log at least meant I had something real to say at my review rather than just 'it's been a bit rubbish'. x
Snap. I was fobbed off twice before I went in with written notes and basically refused to leave without a referral. The data helps. They can't easily dismiss something you've tracked for a week. Ask about the Holter monitor by name, it shows you've done your reading and they tend to take that seriously. x
The confidence piece is real and it's worth saying out loud at your appointment. I got fobbed off the first time because I only mentioned the physical stuff. Second time I said it was affecting my ability to make plans and follow through on them. That framing seemed to shift things. Good luck. x
Bring the list. I did exactly this before my first HRT appointment, wrote down flush frequency, how many times I woke, how long each one lasted roughly. The GP actually seemed relieved I had numbers. 8 to 12 a day is significant and worth saying out loud clearly. Don't soften it. x
Good that you're writing it down. I started doing that after I came out of an appointment having forgotten to mention the night sweats entirely. The 3pm tiredness is worth flagging too if you haven't already.
The bringing notes to the GP thing, genuinely useful. I started doing something similar after getting fobbed off twice and it does change the dynamic a bit. Still not perfect but better. Pleased you're getting some sleep. x
Oh love, I had exactly this. For my last appointment I wrote down the actual numbers: how many flushes I had overnight (I counted five on a bad night), how many times I woke up, and roughly what time. Kept a note on my phone for two weeks before going in. The GP took me much more seriously when I could say 'four to six times a night' rather than 'quite a lot'. Specifics really do seem to help x
Written examples for the GP appointment is the right approach. Vague descriptions tend to get vague responses. If you can note the date, the situation, and the impact on your work, that gives them something concrete to work with. The afternoon energy thing is real too. I find eating something with protein at lunch makes a difference to how I feel by three. x
Just popping back to say thank you, especially Mara. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.
The sleep log is useful too. I added a column for how long it took to get back to sleep after each wake. That detail seemed to land with my GP more than the flush count alone. Good luck with the appointment.
The notebook is a good idea. I did the same thing before my appointment and it helped enormously. Ask specifically for an ECG and also ask about a 24-hour Holter monitor. That's the wearable one that records continuously. My GP didn't offer it until I named it. Worth having that phrase ready. x
The notes idea is good. One thing I'd add, if it helps, is to write down how long it's been going on. GPs seem to respond to a timeline. Hope Thursday goes well. x
Thank you Ruth, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.
Snap on the evidence approach. I took a written list to my GP and she actually seemed to pay more attention than when I'd tried to explain it out loud and got flustered. Worth doing.
The DEXA scan question is worth writing down exactly as you have it. I've found that if I don't say the specific words I want answered, the appointment moves on and I leave without the thing I came for. Bring the question on your phone if you need to. x
I kept a simple temperature and sleep log for three weeks before my last review. Just noted wake times and whether I'd had a flush in the night. Made a real difference to how the appointment went. She actually looked at it properly. Might be worth trying before yours. x
Good on you for writing things down before the GP. I do the same, otherwise I walk out having only mentioned sleep and nothing else. The stuff you want to say about dryness, say it. Write it on the list. Hand them the list if you have to. It gets said that way. Good luck Saturday too x
Snap on the counting. I tracked mine for two weeks before my appointment too. Showed the GP on my phone. She actually scrolled through it. Can't speak to the gel but I've heard from a few people here that it feels totally normal after a couple of weeks. The cold food thing makes complete sense by the way. I do the same. Husband thinks I'm odd. I think I'm coping.
Good for you Holly. The GP list is a good idea. I always end up talking about flushes and nothing else too. Eat before you go. x
Eight is not 'keep an eye on it' territory. That's data. I'd go back and say exactly that number, and ask specifically what threshold would change their approach. Sometimes making them name a number shifts the conversation. x
The photos are a good idea. Bring them on your phone, don't assume you'll remember to describe it accurately in the room. For the dermatologist, I'd ask specifically whether the itch has an internal cause rather than a surface one, and whether skin barrier changes linked to hormones are worth investigating. Keep your timeline factual, dates and locations on the body. GPs respond better to a written list than a verbal description. Good luck.
Iron and ferritin, yes, and ask for ferritin specifically because it sometimes gets missed off a standard blood panel. Thyroid is worth asking for too. If you can say how many days were heavy and roughly how many pads or tampons on the worst days, that gives them something concrete. The notes you're already keeping are good. Good luck. x
The notes thing is genuinely useful. I started logging flush frequency and sleep before appointments and the GP actually engaged differently. Glad you're seeing some improvement.
Snap! I did exactly this for six weeks before my appointment. Dates, times, how soaked, whether the palpitations woke me or I was already awake. My GP actually said it was helpful rather than fobbing me off, which was a first. Three weeks feels like forever when you're this tired but you are absolutely doing the right thing. x
For the appointment, write down the time it happens, how long it lasts, and one thing it stops you doing. GPs take it more seriously when it's specific and functional. "I can't concentrate from 2pm" lands differently to "I feel tired." On food, tinned sardines or mackerel are cheap, high protein, and you can eat them separately while everyone else has their pasta without any extra cooking.
The photo documentation is sensible. I did the same before a GP appointment and it genuinely helped. On the referral question, in my experience GPs are more likely to engage if you specifically name the skin changes alongside other symptoms rather than presenting it as a separate issue. The itching and papery texture are both things that came up in a thread here recently, so you're not alone with it.
Snap on the going blank thing. I'd stand there and completely forget everything that had been keeping me awake for weeks. Writing it down beforehand was the only thing that helped. I'd also just say, don't be afraid to hand her the list. You're allowed to do that. x
Snap on the 3am palpitations. I had this for about four months before my GP appointment. What helped me was writing down the frequency, duration, and whether anything else was happening at the same time. I also asked specifically to have an ECG done rather than waiting to see if they'd offer it. They did it the same day. Worth asking directly rather than hoping they'll suggest it.
Bring the list. Absolutely bring it. I had a printed one and just slid it across the desk and said 'these are my symptoms, I'd like to discuss HRT today'. Five wake-ups between midnight and 5am is not nothing, that's your opener right there. Write the exact number at the top. GPs respond to specifics. x
I could have written this word for word, the wildly inconsistent notebook especially. What helped me was lowering the bar, just a number and one word, not paragraphs. And yes, take the list to your GP. Mine was honest that she didn't know much about supplements specifically but she did check for anything that might clash. That alone felt worth it. x
Cottage cheese in mashed potato. Sounds odd but you genuinely cannot taste it. Ups the protein considerably and no teenager has ever questioned my mash. That's all I've got but it's served me well.
This isn't tiny at all. Ten minutes round the block is still ten minutes. I started noticing the same thing, that I only logged the days I didn't manage it. Flipped it round and started noting when I did. Made a difference to how I felt about myself, weirdly. x
Getting back to sleep after the half four wake-up is the bit I can never manage. That detail stood out to me. I've started noting the better nights too after reading something here a while back about only tracking the bad ones. It does make a difference to how you see the pattern. Well done for going in the grim weather. x
Three months to get an appointment is grim, well done for persisting. I went in with patch questions and ended up on gel first because my GP said absorption can be easier to adjust early on. What I found useful was asking specifically how you switch if one form doesn't suit you, rather than which is better. That framed it as a practical conversation rather than asking her to decide for me. Your flush log sounds thorough. Take it in. x
Hello Michelle, glad you posted. The diary is a good idea. I did the same before my third GP appointment and it genuinely helped, just having the numbers in front of me meant I didn't freeze up. There was a thread on patches versus gel a few weeks back, worth scrolling back through this room. x
Snap. Twelve minutes without the phone is harder than it sounds. Good that you wrote it here. The brain fog makes it too easy to discount the things that actually helped. x
Write the flushes down exactly like you have here. Eight or nine in the day, plus the night ones as separate. GPs respond to numbers. I brought a literal tally I'd done over a week and it changed the whole tone of the appointment. On patches versus gel, yes you can ask directly, I did. Mine actually explained the difference when I pushed. Don't leave without asking. x
Snap. I did exactly this before my last appointment. Mine got less detailed around week five but I kept going because I knew I'd walk in and go blank. The printed summary is the right call. GPs respond to data. Eleven weeks is solid. x
Different experience here, patches worked better for me than gel. I kept forgetting the gel on busy mornings and then wasn't sure if I'd done it. Patch was just there, done, two days sorted. Edges lifting was occasionally an issue in summer but not a dealbreaker. Worth asking your GP about both so you can decide what fits your actual routine rather than what sounds easiest in theory.
Bringing the written numbers is the right call. I did a sleep and flush diary for two weeks before my last appointment. It changed the whole tone of the conversation. On the patch versus gel question, I don't think asking sounds like you've Googled too much. It sounds like someone who wants to understand their options. That's reasonable.
Notes on paper are fine. I brought mine and handed the sheet to my GP so she could read it herself. Saved me having to say everything out loud. The waking frequency and work impact are the two most useful things to lead with, in my experience.
This is so useful, thank you. I do exactly the same thing, walk in and say 'fine, bit tired' and walk out having mentioned nothing. Writing down the palpitations separately from the flushes is a good shout actually. I always lump it all together and then it sounds vague. Going to do this before my prescription review next month x
The 'it's not necessary' response when you haven't even finished your sentence. I know the guidance. I've read it too. Just once I'd like to feel like a person in that room rather than a box to be ticked. x
The decision fatigue point is the bit people don't talk about enough. It's not about cooking, it's about the cognitive load of deciding. Batch cooking removes a daily micro-drain. I noticed the mood lift too. x
The notes are a really good idea. I'd also write down that the anxiety feels different from your usual worry, in your own words, because GPs can default to assuming it's just stress. Being specific about that distinction is worth doing. Good luck next week x
The afternoon blocking strategy is useful. I started doing something similar for email, keeping the last forty minutes clear of anything that needs a decision. It does not fix the fog but it stops me making errors I then have to unpick the next morning.
The paper list is a good idea. I did the same at my last appointment and it kept me from skipping the sleep part, which I always talk myself out of mentioning when I am actually in the room.
Six months is a reasonable timeline. My doctor said three to six months before drawing any conclusions and that turned out to be accurate for me. The anxiety piece took longer than the sleep piece, in my experience.
The quiet brain afterwards is the part that interests me. I get that occasionally after a very cold shower but not reliably. One night of decent sleep from one swim is still one night, which is not nothing.