Susan Green

Jun 19 · Replied

Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Sarah. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 19 · Posted

PSA: silicone-based and oil-based lubricants are not compatible with latex. Took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure that out. You're welcome.

Jun 17 · Replied

Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Greta. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 17 · Posted

Okay so. I have an OBGYN appointment next week and I genuinely cannot figure out how to start the sentence. "Things have changed and it's affecting my relationship" sounds so clinical. "Sex hurts now" sounds too blunt. I've been married 18 years and somehow this is the thing I can't just say. Writing it here first because apparently that's easier than saying it to an actual doctor. ETA: yes I know she's heard it a thousand times. still.

Jun 16 · Posted

Okay so. First post here. 49, perimenopause, and I've been dealing with dryness and what I can only describe as intimacy becoming... complicated. My husband is patient but I genuinely don't have the words for what's happening, which makes the OBGYN appointment I keep postponing feel even more daunting. I've been writing things down privately so I don't blank when I'm actually in the room with a doctor. Symptoms, timing, the UTI-feeling that comes and goes. I've been reading threads here for a few weeks and it helps more than I expected just knowing other people are navigating this too. Not looking for anyone to fix it. Just finally said it out loud. Hi.

Jun 14 · Posted

First post here! Okay so. I'm 49, Los Angeles, been in perimenopause for what feels like forever but apparently only about two years officially. Hot flashes, the sleep chaos, all of it. Fine. I could talk about that stuff. What I could not talk about, to literally anyone, was the other stuff. The dryness. The fact that intimacy started feeling uncomfortable and then kind of awful and then I just quietly started avoiding it. My husband is a good person and he has been patient and confused in equal measure and I have not been able to find the words to explain what was happening because I barely had the words for myself. I didn't even bring it up with my OBGYN for almost a year. A year! I kept going in for my annual and talking about the hot flashes and the sleep and then when she'd ask if there was anything else I'd say nope, all good, and walk out. I don't know why. Embarrassment, maybe. Or that thing where if you don't say it out loud it isn't quite real yet. I finally said something three months ago. I'd written it down beforehand because I knew I'd chicken out otherwise. Just a few words on a sticky note in my purse: "intimacy is painful, dryness, I want to ask about options." I read it to her basically verbatim because I could not have said it freehand. She was so matter of fact about it. Not weird about it at all. We talked about a few different things that might help and I left feeling like an idiot for waiting so long, but also just... relieved. Still figuring things out honestly. But I found this community last week and spent about two hours reading old threads and cried a little bit because it turns out a lot of us are in the same boat and just not saying it. Hi everyone. Glad to be here. ETA: sorry this got long, I clearly needed to say it somewhere 😊

Jun 11 · Replied

Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Anna. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 11 · Posted

Okay so I'm doing a thing. Not a plan, not a protocol, just a thing. Tracking whether the lubricant I grabbed actually changes anything for me day to day, like does it help with the general uncomfortable-for-no-reason feeling or just the obvious moment. Writing it in my notes app because I cannot trust my brain to remember. Also trying to eat actual meals instead of crackers at 4pm because I read somewhere that energy and confidence are connected and I thought, sure, why not add that to the experiment. ETA: yes I am aware this is a lot of feelings to put in a notes app. Here we are.

Jun 6 · Replied

Community post

Thank you Anna, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 6 · Posted

Nobody warned me that one day intimacy would just... hurt. And I'd be too embarrassed to say it out loud to anyone, including my OBGYN. Cool cool cool.