Chloe
Member51, Lancashire. Still figuring the change out and trying to laugh when I can.
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Activity (5)
Jun 20 · Replied
Community post
Just popping back to say thank you, especially Alison. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.
Jun 20 · Posted
Right. GP on Thursday and I am absolutely not going in there and going blank again. Last time I sat down and she asked how I was and I said 'fine, bit tired' and walked out having achieved nothing. I was furious with myself for about a week. So this time I've actually written things down. Like, properly. Dates, what woke me, how bad the 3am thing was, whether I managed to get back to sleep or just lay there catastrophising until 6. I've gone back through my phone notes (I send myself voice memos at stupid o'clock apparently, I found four I didn't remember recording). I've written down when the anxiety spikes with no obvious reason, because that one is hard to explain out loud without sounding like I'm just a bit stressed about work. I'm also going to mention the postmeno bit because I think she forgets I'm past periods now and I want to actually ask about HRT and sleep specifically. I've read enough on here to know that's worth raising. The evening walks have helped a tiny bit honestly. Not fixed anything. But I come home slightly less wired, which means I'm not lying there replaying emails at midnight quite as much. Wish me luck for Thursday. I am going in with my list and I am not apologising for it 🤞
Jun 19 · Posted
51 and postmeno and I have a GP appointment on Thursday and I am already dreading walking out of it having said approximately none of the things I needed to say. It's happened before. I sit down, she asks how I am, I say "fine, just a bit tired" and then I'm back in the car park wondering why I didn't mention the 3am waking, or the anxiety that arrives out of nowhere on a Tuesday morning for no reason, or the fact that I cried at a Tesco advert last week and I am not that person. So I've been writing it down this time. Properly. Not just a note on my phone that says "sleep bad, mood??" but an actual timeline. When the sleep started changing. When the anxiety crept in. What's worse in the second half of the month. I've been doing this for about ten days and honestly it's already useful just for me, never mind the appointment. I've also started going out for a walk in the evenings after dinner, nothing long, just round the block basically, but something about doing it in the fading light helps my brain wind down a bit before bed. Whether that's helping the 3am thing I genuinely can't tell yet but I feel less wired by 10pm. I just want her to take it seriously. That's all. I'm not going in with a list of demands, I just want her to read what I've written and not immediately suggest I try mindfulness. x
Jun 13 · Replied
Community post
Just popping back to say thank you, especially Sally. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.
Jun 13 · Posted
Right so I have an appointment Thursday and I am absolutely determined not to walk in there and blank on everything the way I did last time. Sat in the chair, GP asked how long it had been going on, and my mind just went completely empty. Came home and remembered seventeen things I'd meant to say. So this time I've been writing it down as it happens. Not neatly, just notes on my phone. Woke at 3am Tuesday, anxiety for no reason. Hot flush Wednesday night, drenched the pillow. Brain fog so bad at work on Monday I had to read the same email four times. That sort of thing. Dates where I can remember them. I want to be able to hand her something or at least read from it, because I know the moment she asks "what brings you in" I will say "oh just a bit tired" and that will be that. Also been doing evening walks this week, nothing dramatic, just round the block after tea. Genuinely not sure if it's helping the sleep yet but it does seem to take the edge off the 9pm restlessness I get. Breakfast has been more consistent too, eggs or something with a bit of substance rather than just coffee and hoping for the best. Anyway. Thursday. Wish me luck. I am not leaving without actually saying the thing this time x
Posts (3)
Right. GP on Thursday and I am absolutely not going in there and going blank again. Last time I sat down and she asked how I was and I said 'fine, bit tired' and walked out having achieved nothing. I was furious with myself for about a week. So this time I've actually written things down. Like, properly. Dates, what woke me, how bad the 3am thing was, whether I managed to get back to sleep or just lay there catastrophising until 6. I've gone back through my phone notes (I send myself voice memos at stupid o'clock apparently, I found four I didn't remember recording). I've written down when the anxiety spikes with no obvious reason, because that one is hard to explain out loud without sounding like I'm just a bit stressed about work. I'm also going to mention the postmeno bit because I think she forgets I'm past periods now and I want to actually ask about HRT and sleep specifically. I've read enough on here to know that's worth raising. The evening walks have helped a tiny bit honestly. Not fixed anything. But I come home slightly less wired, which means I'm not lying there replaying emails at midnight quite as much. Wish me luck for Thursday. I am going in with my list and I am not apologising for it 🤞
51 and postmeno and I have a GP appointment on Thursday and I am already dreading walking out of it having said approximately none of the things I needed to say. It's happened before. I sit down, she asks how I am, I say "fine, just a bit tired" and then I'm back in the car park wondering why I didn't mention the 3am waking, or the anxiety that arrives out of nowhere on a Tuesday morning for no reason, or the fact that I cried at a Tesco advert last week and I am not that person. So I've been writing it down this time. Properly. Not just a note on my phone that says "sleep bad, mood??" but an actual timeline. When the sleep started changing. When the anxiety crept in. What's worse in the second half of the month. I've been doing this for about ten days and honestly it's already useful just for me, never mind the appointment. I've also started going out for a walk in the evenings after dinner, nothing long, just round the block basically, but something about doing it in the fading light helps my brain wind down a bit before bed. Whether that's helping the 3am thing I genuinely can't tell yet but I feel less wired by 10pm. I just want her to take it seriously. That's all. I'm not going in with a list of demands, I just want her to read what I've written and not immediately suggest I try mindfulness. x
Right so I have an appointment Thursday and I am absolutely determined not to walk in there and blank on everything the way I did last time. Sat in the chair, GP asked how long it had been going on, and my mind just went completely empty. Came home and remembered seventeen things I'd meant to say. So this time I've been writing it down as it happens. Not neatly, just notes on my phone. Woke at 3am Tuesday, anxiety for no reason. Hot flush Wednesday night, drenched the pillow. Brain fog so bad at work on Monday I had to read the same email four times. That sort of thing. Dates where I can remember them. I want to be able to hand her something or at least read from it, because I know the moment she asks "what brings you in" I will say "oh just a bit tired" and that will be that. Also been doing evening walks this week, nothing dramatic, just round the block after tea. Genuinely not sure if it's helping the sleep yet but it does seem to take the edge off the 9pm restlessness I get. Breakfast has been more consistent too, eggs or something with a bit of substance rather than just coffee and hoping for the best. Anyway. Thursday. Wish me luck. I am not leaving without actually saying the thing this time x
Likes & Replies (2)
Jun 20 · Replied to Community post
Just popping back to say thank you, especially Alison. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.
Jun 13 · Replied to Community post
Just popping back to say thank you, especially Sally. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.
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Comments (2)
Just popping back to say thank you, especially Alison. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.
Just popping back to say thank you, especially Sally. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.