5d ago
51 and postmeno and I have a GP appointment on Thursday and I am already dreading walking out of it having said approximately none of the things I needed to say. It's happened before. I sit down, she asks how I am, I say "fine, just a bit tired" and then I'm back in the car park wondering why I didn't mention the 3am waking, or the anxiety that arrives out of nowhere on a Tuesday morning for no reason, or the fact that I cried at a Tesco advert last week and I am not that person. So I've been writing it down this time. Properly. Not just a note on my phone that says "sleep bad, mood??" but an actual timeline. When the sleep started changing. When the anxiety crept in. What's worse in the second half of the month. I've been doing this for about ten days and honestly it's already useful just for me, never mind the appointment. I've also started going out for a walk in the evenings after dinner, nothing long, just round the block basically, but something about doing it in the fading light helps my brain wind down a bit before bed. Whether that's helping the 3am thing I genuinely can't tell yet but I feel less wired by 10pm. I just want her to take it seriously. That's all. I'm not going in with a list of demands, I just want her to read what I've written and not immediately suggest I try mindfulness. x