13 Jun
Right so I have an appointment Thursday and I am absolutely determined not to walk in there and blank on everything the way I did last time. Sat in the chair, GP asked how long it had been going on, and my mind just went completely empty. Came home and remembered seventeen things I'd meant to say. So this time I've been writing it down as it happens. Not neatly, just notes on my phone. Woke at 3am Tuesday, anxiety for no reason. Hot flush Wednesday night, drenched the pillow. Brain fog so bad at work on Monday I had to read the same email four times. That sort of thing. Dates where I can remember them. I want to be able to hand her something or at least read from it, because I know the moment she asks "what brings you in" I will say "oh just a bit tired" and that will be that. Also been doing evening walks this week, nothing dramatic, just round the block after tea. Genuinely not sure if it's helping the sleep yet but it does seem to take the edge off the 9pm restlessness I get. Breakfast has been more consistent too, eggs or something with a bit of substance rather than just coffee and hoping for the best. Anyway. Thursday. Wish me luck. I am not leaving without actually saying the thing this time x