Kimberly

Jun 20 · Posted

45 and I genuinely don't know where I belong online anymore. The period tracking apps feel like they're built for someone trying to get pregnant in their twenties. The menopause forums feel like they're for women who've already arrived somewhere I haven't. I'm just... in between? My cycles have gone a bit strange in the last year, not dramatically, just different to how they used to be. Shorter sometimes. Heavier once or twice. The odd month where I feel absolutely wired for two weeks then completely flat. I started writing it down because I kept thinking "was that normal last year?" and I genuinely couldn't remember. I'm not sure I'm perimenopausal. I'm not sure I'm not. My GP hasn't been unhelpful exactly, just sort of... noncommittal. I've got an appointment in a few weeks and I want to actually say something useful rather than just "I feel a bit off". So I've been keeping a note of when my cycle starts, how long, how heavy, anything that feels different. Nothing fancy. Just a note in my phone so I have something concrete to show her. Weekday dinners are a disaster at the moment by the way. Two kids, both at that age where they have opinions about everything. I've basically given up trying to cook properly Tuesday through Thursday and I'm just doing whatever keeps us all upright. Pasta. Eggs. That sort of thing. No shame. Anyone else feel like they're in a kind of no-woman's-land with all this? x

Jun 8 · Posted

45 and I feel genuinely homeless online when it comes to this stuff. The period tracker apps are all pastel and chirpy and aimed at someone trying to get pregnant. The menopause forums feel like they're for women who already know what they have and what they're taking. I'm just... somewhere in the middle? Cycles that used to be 27 days like clockwork are now 23, then 34, then 26 again. Nobody warned me that irregular could mean THIS irregular. I've started writing it down in my notes app because I couldn't remember when my last one was and that felt like something I should probably be able to answer at a GP appointment without going blank. Don't know what I'm expecting them to say. Don't know what I'd even ask. Just know that something has shifted and I can't tell if it's life being relentless or something actually changing. Probably both. Dinner tonight was pasta with whatever was in the fridge because I had nothing left by 6pm. That's been most of this week tbh. Glad this room exists even if I'm not sure I belong in it yet x