Tracy
Member57, Cardiff. Mostly here for honest stories, sleep chat, and women who get it.
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Activity (6)
Jun 20 · Posted
Wore the red top on the date last night. Didn't overthink it. That's it. That's the whole win. x
Jun 18 · Posted
Wore the red dress on Saturday. Felt like myself for the first time in ages. Tiny thing but I'm writing it down. x
Jun 18 · Posted
Hello wise ladies. I've been lurking here for probably three months and I keep composing posts in my head and then not sending them, which feels very on brand for where I am right now. I'm Tracy, 57, somewhere in the south west, and I've been divorced for just over two years. The divorce itself was a long time coming and honestly not the hard part. The hard part has been trying to figure out who I am now, in this body, at this age, when the body keeps doing things I didn't sign up for. I'm postmenopause I think, though I haven't had a proper conversation with my GP about any of this yet which I'm aware is a gap I need to close. I've been writing a list of things to mention. It keeps getting longer. Confidence is on there. Dryness is on there, which I've only just managed to write down without feeling embarrassed about it. Anxiety that sort of creeps in sideways when I'm getting ready to go somewhere. The reason I finally decided to post is that I went on a date last week. First one in about 25 years, which is a sentence I still can't quite believe. It was fine, actually. He was perfectly nice. But I spent the whole evening so far inside my own head about how I looked and whether I seemed old and whether my body would let me down in some unspecified future way that I barely remember the actual conversation. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. Maybe just to know other women are navigating similar things and haven't completely disappeared into them. I walk a lot, which helps. And I'm trying to notice the small good moments rather than just cataloguing the difficult ones. Anyway. Hello. Thanks for existing x
Jun 11 · Posted
This is a bit odd to write but I'm doing it anyway because I said I'd be honest here. I've got a second date on Friday. Which is already strange enough at 57, divorced, still slightly bewildered by the whole thing. But I've been noticing this pattern where I build up to something social and then by the time it actually arrives I'm either exhausted or anxious or both, and then I spend the whole evening slightly outside myself rather than actually present. So this week I'm logging it. Not in a scientific way, just in a this-is-what-I-noticed way. What I ate on Thursday evening and whether I slept. Whether I walked in the afternoon or sat at my desk until 6pm. Whether the anxiety was background noise or actually loud. I'm not calling it a plan because I'll immediately want to abandon it. The body confidence thing is real as well. I'm not going to pretend I feel brilliant in my own skin right now because I don't always. Some days I do, some days I look in the mirror and feel like a stranger moved in. I've started writing down the good days too, just a line, just "felt okay today", because I forget them otherwise and then I think the bad days are all there are. I've also got a GP appointment next month and I want to bring up the anxiety side of things properly. Not just mention it and then get distracted by something else. I've been noting down when it spikes, whether it's linked to anything I can identify, whether it's worse in the evenings. I don't know if any of it is useful but it feels better than walking in and saying "I feel a bit anxious sometimes" and having nothing else to offer. Friday will be fine. Probably. I'm going to walk in the afternoon and eat something decent beforehand and just see what happens. Logging it here so I actually do it. x
Jun 11 · Replied
Community post
Just popping back to say thank you, especially peri_erica. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.
Jun 11 · Posted
Right so I spent 45 minutes getting ready for a second date last night. Felt quite good about myself. Got to the restaurant, had a hot flush in the doorway, and arrived at the table looking like I'd jogged there from the car park. He was very nice about it. I was not. Anyway. I'm noting this down as a reminder to arrive five minutes early next time and stand near a window first. Dating in your late fifties is genuinely a sport x
Posts (5)
Wore the red top on the date last night. Didn't overthink it. That's it. That's the whole win. x
Wore the red dress on Saturday. Felt like myself for the first time in ages. Tiny thing but I'm writing it down. x
Hello wise ladies. I've been lurking here for probably three months and I keep composing posts in my head and then not sending them, which feels very on brand for where I am right now. I'm Tracy, 57, somewhere in the south west, and I've been divorced for just over two years. The divorce itself was a long time coming and honestly not the hard part. The hard part has been trying to figure out who I am now, in this body, at this age, when the body keeps doing things I didn't sign up for. I'm postmenopause I think, though I haven't had a proper conversation with my GP about any of this yet which I'm aware is a gap I need to close. I've been writing a list of things to mention. It keeps getting longer. Confidence is on there. Dryness is on there, which I've only just managed to write down without feeling embarrassed about it. Anxiety that sort of creeps in sideways when I'm getting ready to go somewhere. The reason I finally decided to post is that I went on a date last week. First one in about 25 years, which is a sentence I still can't quite believe. It was fine, actually. He was perfectly nice. But I spent the whole evening so far inside my own head about how I looked and whether I seemed old and whether my body would let me down in some unspecified future way that I barely remember the actual conversation. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. Maybe just to know other women are navigating similar things and haven't completely disappeared into them. I walk a lot, which helps. And I'm trying to notice the small good moments rather than just cataloguing the difficult ones. Anyway. Hello. Thanks for existing x
This is a bit odd to write but I'm doing it anyway because I said I'd be honest here. I've got a second date on Friday. Which is already strange enough at 57, divorced, still slightly bewildered by the whole thing. But I've been noticing this pattern where I build up to something social and then by the time it actually arrives I'm either exhausted or anxious or both, and then I spend the whole evening slightly outside myself rather than actually present. So this week I'm logging it. Not in a scientific way, just in a this-is-what-I-noticed way. What I ate on Thursday evening and whether I slept. Whether I walked in the afternoon or sat at my desk until 6pm. Whether the anxiety was background noise or actually loud. I'm not calling it a plan because I'll immediately want to abandon it. The body confidence thing is real as well. I'm not going to pretend I feel brilliant in my own skin right now because I don't always. Some days I do, some days I look in the mirror and feel like a stranger moved in. I've started writing down the good days too, just a line, just "felt okay today", because I forget them otherwise and then I think the bad days are all there are. I've also got a GP appointment next month and I want to bring up the anxiety side of things properly. Not just mention it and then get distracted by something else. I've been noting down when it spikes, whether it's linked to anything I can identify, whether it's worse in the evenings. I don't know if any of it is useful but it feels better than walking in and saying "I feel a bit anxious sometimes" and having nothing else to offer. Friday will be fine. Probably. I'm going to walk in the afternoon and eat something decent beforehand and just see what happens. Logging it here so I actually do it. x
Right so I spent 45 minutes getting ready for a second date last night. Felt quite good about myself. Got to the restaurant, had a hot flush in the doorway, and arrived at the table looking like I'd jogged there from the car park. He was very nice about it. I was not. Anyway. I'm noting this down as a reminder to arrive five minutes early next time and stand near a window first. Dating in your late fifties is genuinely a sport x
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Just popping back to say thank you, especially peri_erica. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.