5 Jun
I've been lurking for a while and I think I just need to say this somewhere because I'm running out of places to put it. I am 46 and for the past four or five months I wake up at almost exactly 3am every single night. Wide awake, heart going a bit fast, this sort of low-level dread that I can't explain. Sometimes I'm sweaty, sometimes not. Sometimes I go back to sleep after an hour, sometimes I'm just done for the night and I lie there going through every mistake I've ever made apparently. I've got two teenagers, a job that needs my brain to actually work, and a husband who keeps saying it's probably just stress. And maybe it is. But it doesn't feel like just stress. It feels like something has shifted in my body and nobody has told me. I went to my GP about six weeks ago and I sort of half mentioned it and she said to try sleep hygiene. I didn't push back because I was worried she'd think I was being dramatic. I came home and felt stupid for not saying more. I've been writing things down since then, times I wake up, how I feel, whether I had a flush during the day, all of it, because I want to go back and actually say what's happening properly this time. I don't even know if this is perimenopause. I haven't had any missed periods. But I'm 46 and something is off and I just needed to say it to people who might actually understand what I mean. Sorry this is so long. Thanks for being here x