finally went

I booked the appointment in January and then moved it twice. The second time I moved it I told myself it was because of work, which was partly true and partly not. I went last Thursday. I had written things down beforehand, which helped, because once I was actually sitting there I found I wanted to minimise everything. The joint pain in my hands, the cycles going from 26 days to 38 days with no pattern, the weight that has shifted around my middle despite nothing changing in what I eat. The mood that is not depression exactly but is not right either. She listened without interrupting, which I had not expected. We talked about what I had already tried, which was mostly magnesium and cutting back on caffeine. Neither has done much. I left with a referral and a blood test form. Nothing is decided. I do not know yet what I want or what the options are going to look like for me specifically. But I had been treating the appointment as a confrontation for months and it was not that. It was just a conversation. I felt tired afterwards in a way that was not unpleasant.