15 Jun
Twenty-nine years married and I honestly thought I knew my own body. Then somewhere around eighteen months ago things just... shifted. Quietly. No fanfare. My husband hasn't said anything unkind, he wouldn't, but I can feel myself pulling away and I hate it. It's not him. It's that it hurts now sometimes, and I don't know how to explain that without making it into a whole thing. I've got a GP appointment booked for next Thursday and I've been trying to write down what I actually want to say, because I know I'll go in there and say "I'm fine, just a bit tired" like I always do. So I'm writing it here first, as practice I suppose. The dryness is real and it's affecting us. There's sometimes a burning sensation afterwards that can last a day or two. Intimacy feels different in a way I can't quite describe, like my body is somewhere else. My confidence has gone sideways in a way I didn't expect. I want to ask specifically about local oestrogen. I've read a bit and I want to know if that's something she'd consider. I want to not be fobbed off with "it's just your age" this time. Also, completely separately, I've been making more effort with food lately, just trying to eat things that don't leave me feeling foggy, more protein, less of the afternoon biscuits, and it genuinely seems to help my energy a bit. Not everything, but something. Anyway. That's more than I've said out loud to anyone. x