16 Jun
46 and the 3am thing is starting to really mess with my head. Not every night. Maybe four times a week. I wake up completely, heart going a bit, and then just... lie there until five-ish. No obvious reason. No bad dream. Nothing left on the hob. Just awake. I keep going back and forth on whether it's peri or whether I'm just a stressed person who has two teenagers and a job and a house that needs a new boiler. Like, maybe anyone would wake up at 3am with all that going on?? But it didn't used to happen. That's the bit I can't explain away. I've started going out for a walk after dinner. Twenty minutes, nothing dramatic. I don't know if it's doing anything but it gets me out of the house and away from my phone and I sleep a bit better on the nights I do it. Possibly coincidence. Possibly not. The GP thing is what I'm dreading. Because how do I explain this? "I wake up at 3am and feel a bit anxious" sounds so... thin. Like she's going to look at me and say yes well, life is stressful, have you tried mindfulness. I'm not saying she would. She might be brilliant. But I'm scared of being sent away with nothing because I didn't describe it right. Does anyone have advice on how to make vague symptoms sound real in that room? Because in my head it's all very clear and I know something has shifted, but I genuinely cannot predict what will come out of my mouth when I'm sitting across from her. x