13 Jun
46, postmeno, and I have been dragging myself outside for these little twenty-minute walks maybe four or five times this week. Not because I suddenly love exercise. More because I was sitting in a fog at 2pm and I genuinely did not know what else to do. Here is the weird thing. My mood is... better? Not fixed. My knees still hurt on the way back down the hill and I am still tired by 7pm. But something shifts. Like the fog gets thinner. I cannot explain it and I am not going to pretend it is some big transformation because it is not. The joint pain is what I actually want to bring to my doctor. It has gotten worse since everything stopped, and I want to ask whether that is related or just age or what I can even do about it safely. I feel like I have been putting that conversation off. Also I started eating something with protein when I get back from the walk, mostly because I read something here a while back and thought why not. Eggs, Greek yogurt, whatever is easy. No idea if it is doing anything but it feels like I am at least being vaguely kind to myself. Anyway. Not a fitness person. Not becoming one. Just walking and noticing things.