13 Jun
Okay so. This is my first time actually posting instead of just reading and crying into my coffee at 5am. I want to say something to anyone who was where I was eight weeks ago because I was genuinely scared. Like, convinced this was just... my life now. The not sleeping, the mood stuff, feeling like a stranger in my own body at 46. This week was different. Not perfect. But different. I don't totally know what shifted and I'm being careful not to jinx it or turn it into a whole thing. But I have my follow-up appointment next week and I want to actually walk in there with something useful to say, so I've been paying attention. Sleep has been better for about ten days. Mood has been noticeably steadier, which my husband would probably confirm if he weren't too scared to say anything lol. The one thing I changed that I actually stuck with was breakfast. I know that sounds so small. But I stopped winging it and started eating the same thing most mornings, something with protein, and then moving my body within an hour of that. Just walking, sometimes a short strength session if I had it in me. That's it. No overhaul. Just that one repeatable thing that meant my mornings stopped feeling chaotic before the day even started. I'm not saying that's why I feel better. I genuinely don't know. It could be the HRT finally doing more, it could be the season changing, it could be dumb luck. But I'm going to tell my doctor what improved and when, and let her figure out what's worth keeping. Just wanted to put this here for whoever needs it. Eight weeks ago I would have really needed it.