13 Jun
Right. So I have a GP appointment in ten days and I am determined not to walk in there, get asked how I am, say "fine" and walk out with nothing. Because that is what I did last time. And the time before. The problem is the thing I actually need to talk about is the thing I cannot seem to say out loud. Dryness. Pain. The fact that intimacy has quietly become something I dread rather than want, and I don't know when that happened. My husband hasn't said anything. He's kind. But I can feel the distance and I know it's coming from me and I hate it. I've been trying to write it down this week. Not for anyone else. Just so I have the words ready and don't sit in that chair going blank. So far my list says things like "discomfort during sex" and "feels like a UTI sometimes but isn't" and "libido basically gone" and honestly just typing those words here felt like a lot. I'm 46. Postmenopausal. I know there are options. I've read enough late-night Google sessions to know I should be asking about local oestrogen. But knowing and actually saying it to a GP who might look slightly bored or mildly surprised or just hand me a leaflet about lubricants... that's the bit I'm bracing for. Not asking anyone to fix this. Just needed to say it somewhere that wouldn't make me feel like I was being dramatic. If anyone else has written stuff down before an appointment and it actually helped, I'd love to know. x