finally made the appointment

I have been sitting on this for about eight months. Not because I was frightened exactly, more because every time I thought about booking I found something else to do instead. The garden, the commute, work. The usual reasons that are not really reasons. I went last Tuesday. I had written things down beforehand, which I would not normally do, but I did not trust myself to say the right words in the right order. Sleep, skin, dryness, the mood that comes and goes without warning. I read it off my phone like a list of parts that needed checking. The GP did not rush me. That was the thing I had not expected. She asked about my mother, about what I had already tried, about how long things had been like this. We did not arrive at a decision. She has ordered some blood tests and I go back in three weeks. I felt strange on the train home. Not relieved, not upset. Something more like the feeling after you have finally dealt with a piece of post you have been avoiding. The thing is still not resolved. But it is at least in motion now.