8 Jun
3am again. Wide awake, heart going a bit, brain immediately filing through every embarrassing thing I've ever said and every email I haven't answered. Classic. I'm 46 and this has been going on for months now. The thing is I genuinely can't tell if it's peri or just... life? I've got a teenager, a job that's got busier, and a husband who snores. Any one of those could do it. But I didn't used to wake up like clockwork. It used to be that I could sleep through a thunderstorm. I started going out for a walk after dinner last week. Nothing dramatic, just round the block while it's still light. I don't know if it's doing anything yet but I feel slightly less wired by the time I get into bed, maybe. The thing I'm dreading is the GP. Because when I try to explain it out loud it sounds like nothing. "I'm tired and a bit anxious." Cool, join the queue, love. I know that's probably not fair but I've been fobbed off before and I just don't want to sit there going blank and then come out having said none of the actual things. How do you even describe symptoms that feel vague even to you? x