12 Jun
52 and I genuinely cannot predict anything anymore. Last month was light, fine, almost normal. This month I have soaked through two pairs of trousers in four days and had to leave a meeting at work to sort myself out. I am 52. Not twelve. Not sixteen. 52. I started keeping a rough calendar in January because I could not even tell my GP when my last period was or how long it lasted. Now I write down when it starts, when it's heavy, when it eases off. Just a cheap paper diary from the post office. Nothing clever. But at least I can see it now, in black and white, how irregular and how much. The fatigue is what I want to talk to the GP about properly. Not just "I'm a bit tired". I mean the kind of tired where you put a jacket potato in the oven and then lie down on the sofa "for five minutes" and wake up when the smoke alarm goes off. That kind of tired. I've been writing down the days when I genuinely cannot function after work, trying to connect them to where I am in the cycle. There does seem to be a pattern. On bad days I cannot face cooking anything. I've started keeping tinned lentil soup and sardines in the cupboard because at least that's something. Not glamorous. But I've eaten standing over the sink at 9pm enough times to know that having literally anything easy is better than nothing. Anyone else building up a picture like this before an appointment? I want to go in with actual evidence this time, not just feelings. x