10 Jun
Okay so I finally have an appointment and I have maybe twelve minutes to make it count. I always go in with things I want to say and then just... don't say them. I smile and nod and walk out having mentioned none of it. Not this time. I've been building a notes doc for two weeks. Just adding to it whenever something occurs to me, usually at 11pm when I should be asleep. Here's roughly what's in it so far: Cycle stuff: what changed and when. I have dates going back about four months. Cycles that used to be like clockwork are now anywhere from 24 to 38 days. I wrote that down because I knew if I tried to remember it in the room I'd say "they're a bit irregular" and leave it there. Symptoms I keep minimizing: the anxiety that hits out of nowhere, the brain fog that is genuinely affecting my work, the fact that I wake up at 4am most nights and lie there catastrophizing for an hour. I keep telling myself it's just stress. Maybe it is. But it started around the same time the cycles changed and I want to at least say that out loud to someone with a medical degree. What changed since last year: I wrote a short paragraph on this because I think it's easy for a doctor to hear a list of symptoms and not understand the before and after. I was fine. Then gradually I wasn't. That timeline feels important. Questions I want to ask without sounding dramatic: is this worth investigating? what would bloodwork even show at my age? is 39 too young to be having this conversation? ETA: I'm also bringing a note that says "please don't just tell me it's stress" because honestly that's my biggest fear for the appointment. Anyone else prep like this? Does it actually help?