ok so I have officially tried everything. not really but it feels like it this week alone I have: eaten porridge with protein powder in it (texture of wallpaper paste, 0/10), done a 10 minute walk after dinner in the rain because apparently that's A Thing now, stared at an instagram reel telling me to "eat like your hormones are watching" which I think means no fun ever, and spent 45 minutes reading about seed cycling which I still don't fully understand the walk was actually fine. I will admit that. I didn't want to go and then I went and I didn't hate it. that's as close to a wellness win as I'm getting this month the porridge though. I persevered for four days. four days of beige sludge before I admitted defeat and went back to toast. except now I feel guilty about the toast because apparently bread is basically poison after 45 and I'm 50 so presumably I should be composting myself the thing that gets me is the sheer volume of conflicting information. one person says eat more protein, another says cut carbs, another says cut carbs but only certain carbs, someone else says fasting, someone else says never fast, it's hormonal chaos. I just want to not crash at 3pm and maybe fit back into my work trousers. that's the whole brief. it's not complicated I'm genuinely trying to find one or two things that are doable for normal life, not a full personality overhaul. if anyone has cracked the afternoon energy thing without spending a fortune or becoming a different person I am all ears. sending solidarity to everyone else drowning in the instagram noise x