Hannah

ok so this is going to be a long one, sorry in advance, i'm typing this at 11pm which is basically my new normal because sleep is apparently optional now?? I've been trying to track my cycles and symptoms properly for about two months because I have a GP appointment coming up and I want to go in with actual information rather than just saying 'I feel weird and tired and anxious and also my periods have gone strange' and watching her nod politely and do nothing. I need dates. I need patterns. I need evidence basically. So I downloaded about four different apps. Here is my extremely unglamorous review of all of them. The first one was clearly designed for people trying to get pregnant. Every single screen was about fertile windows and ovulation and I'm 40 and in the middle of wondering if I'm perimenopausal so that was a fun mismatch. Deleted it after three days. The second one was actually okay for logging periods but the symptom options were really limited? Like I could log 'cramps' and 'bloating' but there was no option for 'sat in the car park at Tesco for ten minutes because I couldn't remember why I'd driven there' or 'cried at a Boden email'. Brain fog wasn't even a category. Mood options were basically happy, sad, or anxious, which doesn't really capture the specific flavour of 'fine but also somehow not fine at all'. The third one wanted me to pay £9.99 a month before I could see my own data properly which, no. The fourth one I'm still using. It's not perfect. The interface is a bit clunky and I keep accidentally logging the wrong date. But it lets me add free text notes which is the bit I actually needed. So now I'm writing things like 'woke at 3am, mind racing, nothing specific' or 'period started, heavier than last month, really tired by 2pm'. Just observations really. Not sure what I'll do with it yet but at least I'll have something to show someone. What I actually want to know is whether anyone has found something better. Specifically something that doesn't assume you're either trying to conceive or already fully in menopause, because I'm in this weird middle bit where I don't quite fit either. My cycles have changed, I'm anxious in a way I wasn't two years ago, I'm tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix, and I'm 40 which apparently means I'm 'too young' for some of this conversation but also old enough that my body is clearly doing something. Also does anyone just use a notes app or a paper diary? I keep thinking maybe simpler is better and I'm overcomplicating this. Would love to know what's actually working for people in this room specifically, not just general period trackers designed for 25 year olds x

Slept through to 6am. No 3am spiral. No heart pounding. Just... sleep. Writing it down before I forget it happened. 🤞

ok so I nearly didn't post this because every time I say something is working it immediately stops working, classic, but here we go. Background for anyone who hasn't seen me in this room before: I'm 40, cycles have been all over the place for about eight months now, and I've been in this weird limbo of not knowing if I'm early peri or just completely burnt out from life. Two kids (11 and 14, both apparently in competition for who can need the most from me at 10pm), full time job, the usual. The thing I've been struggling with most is the mornings. I wake up already anxious, already behind, already foggy. Like my brain boots up in a panic. I've been googling this at stupid o'clock more times than I want to admit and going down rabbit holes that leave me more worried than when I started. So this week I tried one thing. Just one. I made myself eat actual breakfast before I looked at my phone. Not a biscuit, not coffee first, actual food. Eggs two days, porridge with some peanut butter the other days. And I wrote down in my little notes app how the morning felt compared to the week before. And genuinely? Three out of five mornings were noticeably less horrible. Like the anxiety was still there a bit but it wasn't the first thing that hit me. I got through the school run without that horrible shaky feeling twice. I'm not saying this is the answer to anything. I'm 40 and I still don't know what's actually happening in my body and I'm saving all of this for when I eventually get a GP appointment where someone takes me seriously. But I wanted to write it down somewhere because I usually only log the bad stuff and then I look back and think everything is terrible all the time, which isn't quite true. If you're in the same boat of not knowing whether this is peri or burnout or just being a mum in her 40s, hi. You're not dramatic. I've been lurking here for a while and this room made me feel less like I was making it up. x

writing down my cycle dates and mood each evening this week. not a plan just a note. will report back if anything obvious shows up x

Ok so I've been lurking for a while and I genuinely wasn't sure I should post because I'm 40 and every time I google my symptoms it either says anxiety disorder or perimenopause and I don't know which one to believe and honestly the not knowing is the worst bit. Here's what's been happening. My periods have gone completely unpredictable. I was like clockwork for years, 28 days, done. Now it's 24 days, then 35, then 26, and last month it just... didn't show up for 40 days and I did four pregnancy tests like an absolute muppet before it finally arrived. I'm not pregnant, I have a coil, I'm just apparently losing my mind. And the mood stuff. God. I don't even know how to describe it. It's not sadness exactly. It's more like this low hum of dread that sits behind everything. I'll be fine, doing the school run, making tea, and then something tiny happens, like the wifi going down or someone leaving a wet towel on the floor, and I feel this surge of something that is way out of proportion. I've been blaming work stress for two years. My job is stressful, that's true, but I've had stressful jobs before and I didn't used to feel like I was held together with sellotape. The fatigue is the other thing. I am so tired. Not tired like I need an early night. Tired like I've been awake for three days and then asked to run a marathon. I have two kids, eight and eleven, and keeping up with them after school feels like a genuine physical effort some days. I used to be the one suggesting weekend trips. Now I'm counting down to bedtime by 4pm. I mentioned it to my GP about six months ago and she ran some bloods and said everything was normal and that it was probably stress and to maybe try mindfulness. I wanted to cry in the car on the way home. I know she was trying to help. But I left feeling like I'd made it all up. I've started writing things down since then. Cycle dates, sleep, how I feel in the mornings, whether the anxiety is worse at certain points in the month. I don't know if I'm doing it right but it feels better than just showing up and trying to explain it from memory while she's already typing. I suppose I'm posting because I needed somewhere that might just get it without me having to justify why I think something has changed. Does anyone else feel too young for the menopause forums but too old and too tired for the stuff aimed at people in their twenties?? I don't quite fit anywhere and that's been its own kind of lonely. Anyway. Hi. I'm Hannah. I'm 40 and I'm exhausted and I'm really glad this place exists x

ok this is tiny but I have to say it somewhere I actually remembered what day of my cycle I was on this morning without having to scroll back through my app in a panic. I've been keeping notes (just in my notes app, nothing fancy) for about six weeks and for the first time I could see a pattern instead of just chaos. I know that sounds like nothing. but when you've spent months feeling like your own body is doing something completely random and nobody at the GP seems that bothered, having even a tiny bit of information feels massive. still don't know if this is peri or just being 40 and exhausted. but I feel slightly less like I'm making it all up. that's the win. x

Right so I opened my period tracker this morning to log something and it cheerfully told me I am "in my fertile window" and suggested I try for a baby. I am 40, exhausted, forgot my own postcode yesterday, and my last three cycles have been 24 days, 38 days, and whatever chaos is currently happening. Fertile window. Sure. Thanks app. Truly thriving over here. I've started just writing things in the notes app instead because at least that doesn't have opinions. Nobody warned me my cycles would just start doing whatever they wanted before I even knew what perimenopause was. Anyway. Noting it down. That's all I've got today 😂 x

Right so I've got a GP appointment next week and I'm actually writing stuff down this time instead of going blank the second I sit down. I'm 40 and my cycles have been all over the place for about a year. I'm noting down what changed since last year specifically, because I think that framing might help? Like not just "I'm tired" but "I used to be fine and now I'm not and here's roughly when it shifted". Anxiety, brain fog, the irregular periods. Writing it all down. Trying not to preemptively apologise for wasting anyone's time x

has anyone actually got useful bloodwork done through their GP at 40? what did you ask for? trying to figure out what questions don't make me sound dramatic x

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Lydia, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Susan. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 12 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Philippa. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 9 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Wendy. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.