16 Jun
I have an appointment on Thursday and I have spent the last hour trying to write down what's actually been happening. Which sounds simple. It is not simple. Every time I try to describe it I end up writing something vague like "discomfort" and then crossing it out because I know that's not going to get me anywhere with a GP. So I've been sitting with a notebook trying to find the actual words. Dryness. Pain during sex. The way I now sort of dread it rather than want it. That last one took me about twenty minutes to write because even in my own handwriting it felt embarrassing. My husband doesn't know I'm going. Not because I'm hiding it exactly, more that I don't know how to start that conversation yet. He's kind. He hasn't said anything difficult. But I can feel us both sort of tiptoeing around something we used to just... have. Fifty eight years old and I feel like I'm failing at a thing I never expected to fail at. Anyway. The notebook exists. The appointment is Thursday. I've written "ask about local oestrogen" at the top of the page and underlined it twice so I don't bottle it and talk about something safer instead. Has anyone else had to basically coach themselves through saying the actual words to their GP? I don't want to come out with a leaflet and nothing else. x