Right, bit of a rant coming and also I think I just need to say this somewhere before tomorrow. I have a GP appointment in the morning and I am genuinely anxious about it. Not the appointment itself, just the bit where I try to explain what's been happening and it comes out all wrong. Last time I went I left feeling like I'd described a slightly tired woman who needed to drink more water. That's not what I went in to say. So this time I've been writing things down. Properly. Not just "sleep bad, feel weird" but actual dates and times. The 3am wake-ups. The heart-racing-for-no-reason that happens around then. The hot flushes that aren't dramatic but are just... there, at night, enough to make me kick the duvet off and then lie there freezing and wired. I've been noting it for about ten days and looking at it written down it's actually a lot more than I'd been letting myself admit. I'm 46. My periods have been irregular for about eight months. My mum went through the change early too, I've only just thought to mention that tomorrow. The thing I'm most nervous about is the anxiety piece. Because it doesn't have a reason. It just arrives. Usually around 3am but sometimes in the afternoon too, this low-level dread that I can't attach to anything. I know how that sounds. I know it sounds like stress. I work full time, I have teenagers, of course I'm stressed. But this feels different and I don't know how to explain different. I'm going to try the evening walk thing again tonight. I did it twice last week and both nights were slightly better. Might be nothing. Might be coincidence. I'm writing it down anyway. Wish me luck tomorrow x