14 Jun
58 and back in the dating pool after 22 years married. I want someone to find that funny with me because honestly it is both hilarious and absolutely terrifying. The body stuff is the bit nobody warned me about. Like I can't always predict what a day is going to feel like. Some evenings I feel good, get dressed, think yes actually, and then other evenings I'm clammy and uncomfortable and the last thing I want is to sit across a restaurant table from a stranger pretending everything is fine. I cancelled a date last month because of a flush that started at 5pm and just did not stop. Texted him something vague. He didn't reply after that. Which is fine. Probably fine. I've started going out for a walk most mornings, nothing dramatic, just round the park and back. It genuinely seems to settle something in me. Not a cure, not a transformation, just a bit more level. I notice the evenings after a walk day are slightly easier to face. Also been cooking properly for one which I'm slowly making peace with. A bowl of something warm before I go out seems to help more than arriving hungry and anxious. I've got a GP appointment coming and I want to actually talk about the unpredictability side, not just the physical symptoms in isolation but the confidence piece, the way it affects whether I feel like a person who can do this. Has anyone managed to have that conversation without it getting brushed off? x