11 Jun
Okay I need to just say this somewhere because I have been holding it in for months and I am genuinely at my limit. I am 53. I have been dealing with heavy periods for about two years now. Not just heavy, I mean genuinely unpredictable, soaking through in an hour on bad days, no real warning, no real pattern I can figure out. I have a cycle tracking app and honestly the data looks like someone just hit random. Could be 24 days. Could be 38. Could be light for a week and then suddenly not. Last Tuesday I was in a meeting. A real meeting, in a conference room, with my team. And I had to excuse myself and I had brought a change of clothes in my bag like I was twelve years old on a field trip, and I sat in the bathroom stall and I just wanted to cry. I didn't, because I had to go back in there. But I wanted to. I am exhausted all the time. Not tired, exhausted. The kind where you wake up and you already feel behind. I have been wondering if my iron is low because I feel kind of hollow, if that makes sense, like there is less of me than there used to be. I have an OBGYN appointment next month and I am saving everything I can think of to bring up because I have been brushed off before and I am not letting that happen again. Things I am writing down now so I have them ready: how often the really heavy days hit, how long each cycle has been for the last six months (going back through the app), how the fatigue maps onto the heavy days, whether I have been sleeping worse around the same time. I also want to ask about bloodwork because I honestly don't know what they check automatically versus what you have to ask for. I don't want to walk in there and forget half of it because I am running on no sleep and adrenaline. I know some people on here have been through OBGYN prep and I would genuinely just like to know what you wished you had written down. Not looking for anyone to tell me what's wrong with me, just want to feel less alone in the logistics of it. Also my kids are 14 and 16 and they have no idea any of this is happening and I would like to keep it that way for now. So I am just here, quietly losing my mind into a forum at 11pm while they sleep. Thanks for existing, this community.