A.A.

53 and my cycle has basically become a surprise party I never asked for. Last month it showed up nine days early and just... didn't leave. Like a houseguest with no social awareness. I've started keeping notes on my phone because I got tired of sitting in the waiting room trying to reconstruct the last three months from memory and coming up with basically nothing useful. Now I log when it starts, how heavy, whether I'm going through more than one pad an hour on the bad days. Grim to track but I feel like I actually have something real to bring to my OBGYN now instead of "um, it's been a lot?" The bloodwork piece is the part I'm trying to get my head around before my next appointment. I want to ask specifically about iron levels because the fatigue has been genuinely unreal. Like I'll sleep eight hours and wake up feeling like I ran a marathon in my sleep. I don't know if that's the blood loss or hormones or both and I'd like an actual answer instead of being told it's just stress. On heavy days I cannot cook anything that requires more than one pot and fifteen minutes. Lately it's been a lot of rotisserie chicken pulled apart over whatever's in the fridge. Not glamorous. But I'm upright and fed and that's the goal. Anyone else building a case file for their doctor? Curious what you're tracking.

53 and my uterus has apparently decided to become completely unhinged this year. Like I genuinely cannot predict anything anymore. Last month I soaked through on a Tuesday afternoon at work and had to tie my cardigan around my waist like I was 14. I am a grown woman with a mortgage and a job title. I have an appointment coming up and I want to actually go in prepared for once instead of just saying "it's been heavier" and having her nod and send me home. So I started writing things down. Day the bleed started, how heavy (I'm doing light / medium / soaking through / disaster on a scale because I need words that mean something), how long it went, whether I felt completely wiped or just regular tired. Also want to ask about bloodwork. I feel like I should be asking about iron specifically but I don't even know what to ask for exactly? Ferritin? Full iron panel? Both? If anyone has navigated this conversation with their doctor I would genuinely love to know what you said. On heavy days I have basically given up on cooking anything real. Rotisserie chicken and whatever's already in the fridge. Eggs. That's my whole personality right now and I'm fine with it.

Okay I need to just say this somewhere because I have been holding it in for months and I am genuinely at my limit. I am 53. I have been dealing with heavy periods for about two years now. Not just heavy, I mean genuinely unpredictable, soaking through in an hour on bad days, no real warning, no real pattern I can figure out. I have a cycle tracking app and honestly the data looks like someone just hit random. Could be 24 days. Could be 38. Could be light for a week and then suddenly not. Last Tuesday I was in a meeting. A real meeting, in a conference room, with my team. And I had to excuse myself and I had brought a change of clothes in my bag like I was twelve years old on a field trip, and I sat in the bathroom stall and I just wanted to cry. I didn't, because I had to go back in there. But I wanted to. I am exhausted all the time. Not tired, exhausted. The kind where you wake up and you already feel behind. I have been wondering if my iron is low because I feel kind of hollow, if that makes sense, like there is less of me than there used to be. I have an OBGYN appointment next month and I am saving everything I can think of to bring up because I have been brushed off before and I am not letting that happen again. Things I am writing down now so I have them ready: how often the really heavy days hit, how long each cycle has been for the last six months (going back through the app), how the fatigue maps onto the heavy days, whether I have been sleeping worse around the same time. I also want to ask about bloodwork because I honestly don't know what they check automatically versus what you have to ask for. I don't want to walk in there and forget half of it because I am running on no sleep and adrenaline. I know some people on here have been through OBGYN prep and I would genuinely just like to know what you wished you had written down. Not looking for anyone to tell me what's wrong with me, just want to feel less alone in the logistics of it. Also my kids are 14 and 16 and they have no idea any of this is happening and I would like to keep it that way for now. So I am just here, quietly losing my mind into a forum at 11pm while they sleep. Thanks for existing, this community.

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Right, I am 40 years old and I have a spare pair of knickers in my handbag like I'm back in year seven. Actual spare clothes. In my work bag. Because last Thursday I bled through onto my chair at my desk and had to do the long walk to the loos hoping nobody noticed. I don't really know what I expected from this decade but it wasn't this. Started keeping notes on my phone about the heavy days because I've got a GP appointment coming and I refuse to sit there and say "yeah it's quite heavy" and have her nod and send me away again. I want to say: four days of flooding, two where I couldn't leave the house without doubling up, this is what tired looks like by day three. That kind of tired where you're staring at the kettle and you've genuinely forgotten what you were doing. I've been leaning on lentil soup and tinned sardines on toast on the bad days because cooking anything that involves standing up for more than ten minutes is beyond me. Not glamorous. Absolutely keeping me upright though. Anyone else doing this? The notes thing, the spare clothes thing, the pretending everything is fine thing? Just me? 😩

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Okay so my cycle was like clockwork for literally 15 years and now in the past 8 months it has been 24 days, 38 days, 31 days, 26 days, 19 days. NINETEEN. I bought a 40-pack of tampons in January and barely touched them and then got blindsided at work in February with zero warning. Nobody told me this could start happening at 41. I thought perimenopause was a thing that crept up slowly in your late 40s and you had time to prepare. I did not have time to prepare. I started keeping a little notes doc on my phone after the third weird cycle because I needed to see if there was actually a pattern or if I was just catastrophizing. Logging the start date, how heavy, how long, and then just... whatever else felt relevant that week. Mood, sleep, that kind of thing. It's not fancy. It's a google doc called "period stuff" that I would be embarrassed for anyone to find. The exhaustion on weeknights has gotten so bad that dinner is basically whatever requires the fewest decisions. I used to actually cook. Now I'm doing a lot of rotisserie chicken and whatever vegetable I can roast in 20 minutes while I sit on the kitchen floor. That's not a joke, I sat on the floor last Tuesday. I have an OB appointment next month and I genuinely don't know how to bring this up without sounding like I've been doom-spiraling on the internet (I have been doom-spiraling on the internet). Does anyone have a way of framing cycle changes to their doctor that doesn't sound dramatic? I have my little notes doc but I feel like I'm going to walk in there and she's going to say "some cycles are just irregular" and send me home.

Jun 20 · Liked post

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58 and I have become the woman who plans her whole day around whether her knees are going to cooperate. I don't talk about it much. My husband asks how I'm doing and I say fine. My daughter calls and I say fine. I come here and I say it: my joints are the loudest thing in my life right now and I have just been quietly managing around them for months. The walking plan is helping, genuinely. Thirty minutes most mornings, nothing heroic, just out the door before I can talk myself out of it. Some days it loosens everything up and I feel almost normal. Other days I'm limping back in thinking okay that was too much. I've been reading about calcium and vitamin D and I've been more intentional about food lately, more dairy, more sardines, which my husband thinks is hilarious. I'm not making any claims, it's just something I'm paying attention to. I've been on HRT for six years now and I have a checkup coming up and I want to actually ask the real questions this time. Not just "is this still okay" but like, what are we thinking about long term? What does staying on it look like at 60, 65? I keep chickening out of that conversation and I don't know why. Maybe because I'm scared of the answer. Maybe because I don't want anyone to take the one thing that's been keeping me functional. Anyone else navigating that appointment anxiety? The kind where you finally have the questions ready and then you walk in and somehow say nothing.

Jun 19 · Liked post

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58 and I am sitting here with a piece of paper trying to work out how to describe what has been happening down there to a GP I have seen maybe twice. How do you even start that sentence. "It hurts" feels too vague. "Sex is painful" feels too exposing. "Dryness" sounds like I'm talking about a biscuit. I've been writing things down because I know if I don't I'll walk in and say I'm fine and come out with nothing. So far my list says: discomfort, that UTI feeling that never quite turns into a UTI, and the fact that I stopped wanting to try because the anticipation of pain is worse than the pain itself. My husband hasn't said anything. Neither have I. We've both just quietly stopped and I think we're both pretending that's fine and it isn't. Does anyone have actual words they used with their GP? Not looking for a script, just. I don't know. Proof that someone said it out loud and didn't dissolve.

Jun 18 · Liked post

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41 and feeling like a complete fraud in here tbh. Every menopause space I find seems to be for women in their 50s and the period tracker apps keep asking me if I'm trying to conceive 🙄 like mate that is NOT the vibe right now. My cycles have been doing weird things for about eight months. Sometimes 24 days, sometimes 34. I used to be clockwork. And I'm exhausted in a way that sleep doesn't fix, which is fun. The anxiety has got worse too but I keep telling myself it's just work, just the kids, just life being A Lot. I've started writing things down because I couldn't remember what was happening from one month to the next. Not in any organised way, just notes on my phone. When I woke up at 3am, how much coffee I'd had, whether I'd actually eaten before noon. Turns out I almost never eat before noon which probably isn't helping anything. Going to try and actually have something before I leave the house in the mornings. Genuinely curious if it shifts the 11am crash. Also trying to figure out how to bring the cycle stuff up with my GP without her just nodding and saying stress. Any tips on how to make it sound like data rather than a complaint? x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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52 and I have a GP appointment on Thursday and I am already panicking about it. Not about going, about the bit where she asks me what's been happening and my brain just... empties. Every single time. I'll have spent weeks thinking "I must mention the 3am waking" and "I must ask about HRT and whether it could help with sleep" and then I sit down in that chair and I suddenly sound completely fine and vague and she probably thinks I've come in about a mole. So this week I have actually been writing things down as they happen. Not a big system, just notes on my phone. Woke at 3.17, couldn't get back off until nearly 5, anxious but nothing to be anxious about. That kind of thing. Woke drenched Tuesday. Felt okay Wednesday but a fog all afternoon at work. I want to ask her specifically about HRT and sleep because I've read a bit and I'd like to understand whether the waking is hormonal or just... me being 52 and stressed. But I know if I don't write the question down I will nod along and come home and remember it on the drive back. Does anyone else do this? The notes thing? Did it actually help you get taken seriously or did the GP just sort of gloss over it? Genuinely asking because Thursday feels quite important and I don't want to waste it. x

Jun 17 · Liked post

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Sixty and standing outside my local gym last Tuesday like a complete muppet, coat on, bag on shoulder, just... not going in. Watched three women probably half my age bounce past me and thought nope, turned round, went home and had a biscuit. I know that's not the story anyone wants to hear but there it is. I've been reading about strength training because everything I've come across says it matters more after menopause, not less. Which is annoying because I genuinely thought I'd earned the right to stop caring about this. But my joints have been awful and my GP mentioned that building a bit of muscle might actually help with that long term. So I'm not doing this for aesthetic reasons, I want to be clear about that. I just want to be able to open a jar without wincing. What I have actually managed, which is more modest: I've been doing some gentle mobility stuff before bed. Hips mostly. Ten minutes off YouTube, nothing dramatic. And honestly it's the one thing I've kept up because it doesn't require leaving the house or wearing trainers in public. My sleep has been slightly less terrible on the nights I do it. Could be coincidence. Could be the fact that I'm finally just lying still for ten minutes before I expect myself to sleep. Who knows. The gym thing is still hanging over me. I'm not ready to walk back in and pretend I know what I'm doing. But I have a GP appointment next month and I want to ask properly about where my fatigue levels actually sit before I push myself too hard. Because last time I tried to "get back into exercise" I went too hard too fast and then crashed for a week and felt worse. I don't want that again. Has anyone here started strength work really, really gently? Like embarrassingly gently? I'd find that reassuring. x

Jun 17 · Liked post

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Sixty now and I keep seeing posts from women in their early forties who are absolutely terrified, and I just want to say... you come out the other side. Not perfectly. Not without things to still figure out. But you do come out. I'm seven years past my last period. Still have rubbish nights sometimes, still get the joint stiffness that makes me feel about ninety when I stand up too fast. But here's the thing nobody told me at 46 when I was a wreck: the sheer panic does lift. That particular flavour of dread goes. What I've found helps me now, not prescribing anything, just what works for me, is getting to the gym twice a week for some weights work. I started really gently and honestly felt a bit daft at first but my back is so much better for it. And I eat proper protein at breakfast, eggs mostly, nothing fancy, just stopped skipping it like I used to. Those two things changed my energy more than I expected. I also finally asked my GP about ongoing symptoms properly. Wrote a list beforehand, because I used to just forget everything the minute I walked in. She actually took it seriously and we talked about long term bone health which I'd never really asked about before. You're not done with this conversation just because the flushes have eased. That's the bit I wish someone had told me. Keep asking questions. You're allowed. x

Jun 17 · Liked post

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39 and I genuinely cannot keep up with what I'm supposed to be taking. Every time I open Instagram I'm apparently deficient in six things and there's a new founder in a white blazer telling me her £65 blend changed her life. I don't doubt she believes it. I just... can't afford to believe everything. What I actually want is someone saying "I tried magnesium glycinate for eight weeks and my sleep went from terrible to slightly less terrible" and that's it. No before and after. No referral code. Just a normal person's normal experience. I've been making a rough list of what I'm already taking (just vitamin D at the moment, from the GP's suggestion) because I want to be honest with my GP next appointment about what's in my system. She's not dismissive but I don't think she knows what I'm seeing online either. Feels important to just... have it written down. The protein thing I've actually found easier than supplements honestly. Eggs at breakfast, that kind of thing. Cheaper. Less confusing. Maybe that's where I'll stay for a while before I add anything else. x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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51 and I have got a GP appointment on Thursday and I am already panicking that I will walk in there and forget every single thing I have been struggling with for months. So I am writing it all down now, while I am tired and caffeinated and actually remember how bad it has been. The sleep is the main thing. I keep waking somewhere between 2.30 and 4am and then that is just it, I am awake, mind going ten to the dozen, heart doing a little performance. And then I have to go to work and function like a person. I have been doing a rough note each morning this week, just time I woke up, how anxious I felt, how bad the day was after. Nothing fancy, just so I have something concrete to show her rather than sitting there going "well I don't sleep great". I also want to ask about HRT properly this time. Last appointment I sort of hinted and she moved on and I let her, because I always do that. This time I have actually written it at the top of my notes: ASK ABOUT HRT AND SLEEP. In capitals so I cannot gloss over it. I have been cutting back on wine in the week as well, not because anyone told me to, just noticed it made the 3am thing much worse. Three weeks of mostly not drinking Sunday to Thursday and honestly the nights are... slightly less catastrophic? Still not good but slightly less. Anyone else had to fight a bit to get taken seriously about the sleep stuff? I don't want to go in dramatic but I also don't want to come out with nothing again x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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Stood in front of my manager today and the word just... went. Not a complicated word either. I was trying to say "provisional" and I stood there for what felt like forty seconds saying "you know, the sort of, not final, the... the..." and she finished my sentence for me. I wanted to disappear into the floor. I'm 43 and I used to be the person who could hold six things in my head at once and talk through all of them without notes. Now I prep for every meeting like I'm revising for an exam and I still come out looking vague. Sleep is the thing I'm working on at the moment because someone mentioned it here and it stuck with me. I'm trying to actually stop doing stuff by ten, no screens, same time every night. Some nights it helps. Some nights my brain just decides 2am is thinking time regardless. The other thing I've noticed is the 3pm slump is genuinely brutal. I've started keeping nuts and a bit of cheese at my desk instead of going for the biscuits in the kitchen, and honestly the afternoon is slightly less awful? Might be coincidence but I'll take it. When I finally get a GP appointment I want to be able to explain this properly, not just say "I feel foggy". So I've been writing down the specific moments, like today, so I can show her it's affecting my actual job. Does anyone else do that? Keep a kind of work impact log? I feel a bit daft but I don't know how else to make it feel real to someone who sees me for ten minutes x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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Okay so today's self-care achievement was sitting in my car in the driveway for four minutes eating a protein bar before going inside to be needed by literally everyone. My mom called twice during those four minutes. My teenager texted asking where her hoodie was. I did not answer either of them. I just sat there. Chewing. In silence. Is this what boundaries feel like? Because honestly? I might be getting good at this. 😂 ETA: the hoodie was on her floor. Obviously.

Jun 14 · Liked post

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First post! 43, LA, perimenopause I think. Periods went from manageable to absolutely unhinged in about six months. So glad this community exists.

Jun 14 · Liked post

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GP appointment in two weeks and I keep second-guessing what to actually tell her. Like I know things are bad but when I'm sitting in that room I always end up saying 'yeah I'm a bit tired' and walking out with nothing. So I've started writing stuff down this month. Proper notes. Which days were heavy, which days I basically couldn't function at work, whether I needed to leave early or cancel things. Trying to put actual words around what 'exhausted' means in practice because I think that's where I always fall down. Did anyone else do this before an appointment? What did you actually track that turned out to be useful? I'm doing a rough cycle calendar and jotting down energy levels but I don't know if I'm missing something obvious. Also wondering whether to push for iron bloods given how wiped out I've been feeling. Any advice from people who've actually managed to get their GP to take this seriously would be brilliant. I'm 41 and I refuse to leave that room with a leaflet about sleep hygiene again 😩

Jun 13 · Liked post

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Steph, 51. I genuinely cannot tell anymore whether what's happening to my brain is perimenopause or just fifteen years of being a working mum slowly catching up with me. Because here's the thing. I've always been sharp at work. Quick in meetings, good with detail, remembered everything without writing it down. And now I'm sitting in a team briefing last Tuesday and I could not retrieve the word 'provisional'. I knew what I meant. I could picture the concept. The word just wasn't there. I ended up saying 'the not-yet-confirmed version' and my colleague looked at me a bit sideways and I wanted to sink through the floor. My GP basically shrugged and said stress and tiredness. Which, yes, possibly, but I've been stressed and tired before and I didn't lose words in front of my manager. The only thing I've actually changed recently that seems to be doing something (maybe, possibly, too early to say) is sorting out my lunch. I was eating basically nothing until 3pm, then crashing horribly and the afternoon was a write-off. Started making sure I'm getting proper protein at lunch, actual food, not a sad desk sandwich. The afternoon fog isn't gone but it's... slightly less catastrophic? I think? But I genuinely don't know if that's the food or just placebo or a slightly better week. And I don't know if any of this is hormones or burnout or both. Going back to the GP and I want to explain the work impact properly this time, not just say 'I'm a bit forgetful'. Does anyone write it down before they go in? Specific examples? I feel like I need evidence or she won't take it seriously x

Jun 13 · Liked post

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59 and I've quietly put on about a stone and a half since my periods stopped and I genuinely can't work out when it happened. Went back through some photos trying to pin down a rough timeline because my GP asked and I just stood there going "erm, maybe two years ago? three?" which wasn't very helpful for either of us. Anyway. The thing I'm actually here about is feeding a family while also quietly trying to eat more protein without making a whole announcement about it. My husband will eat anything. My youngest (still at home, 22, acts like he's 14) will not eat anything that looks "healthy" which is exhausting. So I've been sneaking things in. Lentils in the mince. Extra eggs in stuff. Tin of cannellini beans bulking out a chicken tray bake. Nobody has died or complained. Meals are also cheaper which is a bonus I did not expect. The other thing I've started doing is a little walk after dinner. Not a hike. Literally ten minutes round the block while it's still light. I don't always want to go but I almost always feel better for it. Something about not just sitting straight down after eating. No dramatic conclusions. Just noticing things. x

Jun 12 · Liked post

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Karen, 55. Nobody warned me it would just... stop. Not gradually. Not with some graceful winding down. One year things were fine and then they weren't and I genuinely thought something was wrong with me, or with us, or both. My husband hasn't said anything unkind but I can feel him being careful around me and honestly that almost makes it worse. I've finally written some things down to take to my GP because every time I've sat in that chair I've somehow talked about my sleep and my mood and then left without saying the actual thing. So this time I have it on my phone. Dryness. Discomfort. The fact that I'm avoiding something I used to want. That I feel like a stranger in my own body in this particular way. I've also been trying to eat properly again, not because I think a bowl of spinach is going to fix this, but because when I'm eating well I feel slightly more like myself, slightly more present. It helps with the brain fog at least. Has anyone actually managed to say all of this to their GP without going bright red and leaving half of it out? Because that is my current challenge and the appointment is Thursday. 😩

Jun 12 · Liked post

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57 and I talk about my knees to absolutely nobody. Not my sister, not my husband, not at book group. I just quietly accommodate them. I stopped kneeling down to sort the bottom of the dishwasher. I get out of the car differently now. I didn't decide to do these things, I just started doing them and one day noticed I had. It's the joint pain that's got under my skin more than anything else from the last few years. Not the flushes (gone, mostly), not the sleep (better on HRT), not even the brain fog. The joints. And yet it's the thing I mention least because it makes me feel old in a way I'm not ready to feel. I've started walking every morning. Nothing dramatic, just out before my husband is up, forty minutes, same route. I tell myself it's for my head but honestly it's because I read something about weight-bearing activity and bone density and it scared me enough to get my trainers on. I've got a DEXA scan question written in my phone for my next GP appointment. I've been on HRT for six years and I want to actually talk through what that means long-term, properly, not just a repeat prescription conversation. Also eating more protein than feels normal. Eggs at breakfast, which I never used to bother with. No idea if it's doing anything yet. Just wanted to write it down somewhere. The thing I feel most and say least. x

Jun 12 · Liked post

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So I got my DEXA results back last week and honestly it was the kick up the backside I needed. Not terrible, not great. The radiographer said something like "this is common at your age" and I smiled and nodded but inside I was thinking, right, no, I'm not just accepting that. I've been doing a lot of reading since and I've written down a proper list of questions for my GP. Things like: what does this score actually mean for fracture risk, what should I be monitoring going forward, how often do I need another scan, and whether there's anything specific I should be doing given I've been on HRT for a few years now. I want actual answers, not a leaflet. Food-wise I've been quietly paying more attention to what I'm eating. Not obsessively, just noticing. I had no idea how much calcium I wasn't getting until I started looking. Fortified oat milk, a bit of cheese here and there, some tinned sardines (which I'm learning to not hate). Vitamin D is trickier because we live in England and the sun is, well, the sun. I've been getting outside most days though, proper walks rather than just nipping to the car. Started doing about 30 minutes most mornings and I can already feel it's doing something for my head if nothing else. Anyone else had a DEXA and felt like it reframed everything a bit? Like suddenly bone health went from abstract future worry to actual present thing I need to care about now? That's where I am. 57 and taking it seriously. Finally. x

Jun 12 · Liked post

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Family dinners are killing me softly, honestly. I've got a husband who wants proper meals, a seventeen-year-old who eats everything in sight, and me trying to quietly sneak more protein in without turning every evening into a nutrition lecture nobody asked for. What I've landed on this week is just... making sure whatever I cook has something substantial in it. Chicken thighs, eggs in things, chickpeas bulking out the sauce. Nobody notices, I don't have to cook separately, and I don't feel like I've eaten a bowl of air by nine o'clock. The other thing, and this feels almost too simple, is I've started walking round the block after we eat. Ten minutes, sometimes twelve if I'm not freezing. Started because someone mentioned it on here and I thought why not. I don't know if it's doing anything enormous but I feel less like I want to immediately fall asleep on the sofa, which used to be my whole evening. The energy crashes are still there though. Mid-afternoon I basically become a different, worse person. I want to ask my GP about it properly, not just get told to sleep more and stress less (been there). Wondering if there's bloodwork worth pushing for. Anyone had useful conversations with their doctor about that kind of thing? x

Jun 21 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm in the US so some of this won't map exactly but that anxiety description?? I felt that so hard. No trigger, no story, just dread sitting there like an uninvited guest. I've started keeping notes too before OBGYN appointments because otherwise I walk in and say "I'm fine" like an idiot. The low effort dinners thing is not a small thing at all, that's survival mode and it counts. Sending solidarity from across the water 💙

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Okay this is a different situation from mine but the "thought I was sorted and then wasn't" feeling is SO relatable. Solidarity from across the Atlantic. Your question list sounds really smart, especially the fracture risk one. Hope the appointment goes well.

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm not at the long-term HRT conversation yet but the appointment thing is SO real. I rehearse everything in the car and then just... nod and say things are fine. You've been managing this for six years, you know your body. Write the questions down, read them off the paper if you have to. Solidarity.

Jun 19 · Replied to Community post

THIS. the preparation thing is real. i started keeping a little notes app log and brought it to my OBGYN and she actually said it was the most useful thing a patient had brought her in ages lol. also the spare clothes bag is just life now, no shame. solidarity from across the pond, claim that win 100%

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Girl, the spare clothes bag. I have one in my car, one at work, one in my actual bag. It's a whole operation. And yes the exhaustion is the sneaky one because you just keep absorbing it until one day you realise you haven't felt properly awake in like six months. Welcome, you're in good company here.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Girl. The random anxiety out of nowhere?? Yes. And the exhaustion that isn't just tired, it's something else entirely. I've had appointments where I had notes on my phone and still left feeling dismissed. Keep tracking. It matters even when it feels pointless.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Oh wow, hot flashes IN the hospital. That timeline is just... no buffer at all. The tracking you're doing sounds really smart honestly. I'd say for your follow-up, don't let them rush past the sleep stuff, like make it the first thing you say not the last. That's what I wish I'd done. Solidarity from across the pond, this thread needed to exist.

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Okay so the chair thing... I am so sorry, that is my actual nightmare. You are not alone. Yes to asking for ferritin by name at your appointment! I specifically said ferritin not just 'iron levels' to my OBGYN and she said good catch, they're different things apparently. I was running so low and had no idea. The exhaustion makes so much more sense now. Tracking pads per day is exactly the kind of data they want. Bring the calendar, bring the numbers. ETA: lentil soup is genuinely the move 👏

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm not post-meno yet but THIS. Writing things down before an appointment is the only thing that stops me forgetting everything the second I sit down. The exercise link is something I keep meaning to track too. Solidarity from across the pond, hope you find something useful in the data!

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm US so slightly different system but the notebook thing is universal honestly. I started doing the same before OBGYN visits because I'd walk in with a list in my head and walk out having mentioned none of it. The caffeine pattern you noticed sounds really worth bringing up. Solidarity, hope she actually listens to you Friday.

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Okay so not UK so slightly different system but the prep stuff is universal I think. I literally made a notes app list: heaviest days, clot size (golf ball is apparently the medical benchmark?? wild), how many products per hour on bad days, and then a separate line for how I FELT those days. Energy, brain, mood. My OBGYN said the functional impact stuff was actually really useful. Definitely ask for ferritin not just iron, that was the thing someone mentioned in a thread here recently too.

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Okay so the Tesco bag detail hit me hard because I have a similar situation going on at work and I thought I was the only one doing this 😩 The thing that helped me most before my OBGYN appointment was actually asking specifically for bloodwork, iron levels especially. I had no idea how depleted I was until I saw the numbers. Tracking the heavy days like you're doing is exactly right. Solidarity.

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Okay so the calendar thing is NOT obsessive, it is literally the smartest thing you can do. I started doing the same thing a few months ago, just a notes app, date / heavy / light / how wrecked I felt after. My OBGYN actually said it was the most useful thing I brought to my appointment. Way better than me trying to remember on the spot and going completely blank. Keep going with it. And 48 is absolutely not too young, I'm 53 and wish someone had taken me seriously at your age.

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

YES to the 3pm wall. I get it too and I always assumed it was just being tired from everything but lately I've been wondering if it's more than that. For the bloodwork question, I always ask my OBGYN to include iron and thyroid alongside the hormone stuff because fatigue can come from so many directions. Good luck with the appointment.

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Okay so YES. 'Unhinged' is the only word for it honestly. Mine went from fine to absolutely not fine in like one season. You're in the right place. ETA: the embarrassment of not knowing if this was normal nearly kept me from talking about it at all so I'm glad you posted.

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I did exactly this before my OBGYN appointment and the thing that actually landed was showing her the dates side by side. Like, heavy bleed day 1, also couldn't function day 1. Heavy bleed day 2, left work early day 2. She connected the dots way faster when she could SEE it wasn't just me being tired, it was a pattern. Also she ordered iron bloodwork which I wish I'd pushed for sooner. Good luck, you've got this.

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

YES to writing it down, this is the move. I started doing this before OBGYN appointments because I would literally blank the second I sat on that table. I tracked how many pads/tampons per day on heavy days (sounds embarrassing but it helped so much), plus days I couldn't exercise or cook a real dinner. Just concrete stuff. And yes ask for bloodwork, iron and ferritin both. ETA: ferritin specifically, not just iron, that one kept getting missed for me

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

THIS. I started doing this before my last bloodwork appointment and it actually changed the conversation. Brought in a week of notes instead of just "I'm really tired" and my doctor took it so much more seriously. Also lentils plus spinach on a hard day?? respect. ETA: the not-crashing thing is worth noting for sure, even if you're not 100% sure why.

Jun 13 · Replied to Community post

Okay so the timing-how-long-you-can-leave-the-house thing. YES. I literally have a note in my phone that says "can't go to the grocery store on day 2" and I showed my OBGYN and she took it way more seriously than when I just tried to describe it. Bring the actual notes, don't summarize them. Also ask specifically about ferritin not just general iron, someone mentioned that in a thread here a while back and it made a big difference for me.

Jun 13 · Replied to Community post

Okay the vague gesture thing!! I thought that was just me. I did it in a presentation and just said 'the thing, the concept' and moved on like I meant it 😂 Solidarity. Tracking sleep and caffeine is smart, I started doing something similar and it at least makes me feel like I have some data instead of just chaos.