3d ago
Right, bear with me because this is a bit all over the place. So I've started seeing someone. Casually. He's nice. And I am absolutely terrified, not of him, but of my own body doing something wildly unpredictable at the exact wrong moment. Hot flush in the middle of a restaurant. Dryness that makes me feel about a hundred years old. The anxiety that just descends with no warning and turns me into a person I don't recognise. I'm 58. I did not expect to be dating at 58. I also did not expect my body to feel this unreliable at 58, and yet here we both are. The thing that's actually been helping a bit is walking, weirdly. Not as a cure, just. I feel more like myself when I've moved. More solid in my own skin somehow. I've started doing it in the evenings before I see him and it takes the edge off the anxiety at least. I've also been making proper little meals for myself beforehand, so I'm not arriving starving and jangled. Stupid small thing but it helps. I do need to talk to my GP about some of the more private stuff. The dryness especially. I keep putting it off because saying it out loud to someone feels enormous. But I'm going to write it down before I go so I don't bottle it and just talk about my blood pressure for ten minutes instead. Anyone else navigating this? The dating bit AND the body bit at the same time? x