There wasn't a moment where I thought, right, something has shifted. It was more like... gradually noticing I was dreading something I used to enjoy. And then avoiding it. And then feeling guilty for avoiding it. My husband hasn't said anything but I can feel the distance and I don't know if it's in my head or not. The thing that's got me is how quickly it changed. A year ago this wasn't even on my radar. Now I'm lying there thinking about whether it's going to hurt and that's not exactly a recipe for anything nice is it. I've started writing things down before my GP appointment because every time I sit in that chair my brain just goes blank and I come out having talked about my blood pressure. So I've got a list. Dryness. Discomfort. Not wanting to. The anxiety before. I've never written those words down in a row before and seeing them on paper was... a lot actually. I don't know what she'll say. I'm half expecting to be told it's just part of getting older. But I'm going anyway. 58 and finally saying it out loud, even if only to a notepad first. x