Erin

42 and I keep opening period tracking apps and feeling like a complete alien. They're all pastel colours and fertility windows and "trying to conceive" tick boxes. I am not trying to conceive. I am trying to work out why my cycle went from 28 days like clockwork to 24 then 31 then 22 in the space of four months with no explanation whatsoever. But then I come to spaces like this and everyone seems to be talking about hot flushes and HRT and I think... am I even in the right place? I'm 42. Surely that's too young? Except apparently it isn't. I've been reading back through posts here and honestly it's the first time I've felt less like I'm imagining things. What I've started doing, very quietly, is just writing down when my period arrives and roughly how I felt the week before. Not in an app. Just in the notes on my phone. Because I've got a GP appointment next month and last time she asked "have your cycles changed" and I said "I think so?" and she sort of moved on. I want to actually be able to say yes, here's what changed and when. Not sound vague. Not get fobbed off. Also started eating something proper before I leave the house in the morning because apparently running on coffee until noon was not, in fact, fine. Jury's still out on whether it's helping the 11am crash but it feels like the sensible thing to try. Anyone else in this weird in-between age? x

Started a notes doc for my GP. Cycle changes, mood stuff, the 3am wake-ups. Feels less dramatic written down than it does in my head at midnight. 🤞

42 and genuinely caught between two worlds here. Downloaded one of those cycle apps last year and it kept suggesting I track "fertile windows" and sending me little seedling emojis. Thanks, no. But then I look at menopause forums and everyone seems to be talking about things that feel years ahead of where I am and I quietly close the tab feeling like a fraud. My cycles have been... odd. Not dramatically odd. Just odd enough that I've noticed. Used to be like clockwork, now it's 26 days, then 34, then 29, and I can't tell if that's just my body being 42 or something actually shifting. My GP last year said "that's within normal range" and moved on fairly swiftly. I've started keeping a little notes doc on my phone. Not anything fancy, just the date my period starts, how I felt the week before, whether the anxiety was bad. I want to be able to go back to my GP with something more than "I just feel a bit off". Because every time I try to explain it out loud it sounds like I'm describing being a normal tired working mum and I end up half-apologising for being there. Also started making sure I actually eat breakfast before anything else in the morning. Genuinely helps the 11am wobbliness. That's the whole revelation, sorry 😂 Anyone else in this weird in-between bit? x

So I downloaded a period app a few months back because my cycles started going a bit weird and I thought, fine, I'll track it. Except the whole thing is pastel pink and keeps asking me about my "fertile window" and whether I'm "trying to conceive". I am 42. I am not trying to conceive. I am trying to figure out why my period is now anywhere between 22 and 34 days depending on what mood my body is apparently in. And then I googled the symptoms I've been having, the anxiety that arrives out of nowhere, the bone-tired thing that isn't fixed by sleep, the way I lost a word mid-sentence last Tuesday and just stood there, and everything that came back said perimenopause. So I clicked on a few forums and felt immediately like I'd wandered into the wrong room because everyone seemed to be talking about hot flushes and HRT and being post-menopausal for five years and I just quietly closed the tab. I don't know where I fit. Too old for the app. Too young-feeling for the forums. Not sure enough to say it out loud to my GP yet without sounding like I've been catastrophising on the internet at midnight (which, fair, I have). What I have started doing is just writing things down in my notes app. Cycle dates, how I slept, whether I managed breakfast or just inhaled coffee and called it a morning. That bit has actually helped, not because anything is clearer yet, but because I feel less like I'm imagining it when I can see it written down across six weeks. Anyone else in this weird in-between bit? Would just be nice to know I'm not the only one x

42 and I genuinely do not know where I fit anymore. The period apps are all pastel colours and ovulation stickers and "trying to conceive" tick boxes. I am not trying to conceive. I am trying to figure out why my cycle has gone from 28 days like clockwork to anywhere between 23 and 37 with no apparent logic. But then I come into spaces like this and feel like I should be older? Like I haven't earned the right to be confused yet? Someone at work mentioned perimenopause last year and I laughed it off. I was 41. Surely not. Except now I'm keeping a little notes doc on my phone. Just cycle dates, and whether I felt completely wired and couldn't sleep, or crashed by 7pm, or cried at something embarrassing on telly. Mostly I eat something proper in the morning and I've noticed I feel less unhinged on the days I do that. Might be nothing. Probably nothing. GP appointment next month and I want to mention the cycle changes without sounding like I've been down a rabbit hole at midnight (I have, obviously). Does anyone else worry about how to say "something has changed" without the doctor just nodding and saying stress? x

Right, I need to tell someone this because my husband's eyes glazed over when I tried to explain why I was almost crying at the breakfast table this morning. I slept. Like, actually slept. Not the patchy, wake-up-at-3am-with-my-heart-hammering, lie-there-catastrophising-about-absolutely-everything sleep I've had for what feels like the last six months. Actual, real, woke-up-when-my-alarm-went-off sleep. I lay there for a second just checking it was real. For context, I'm 42 and I've been in this weird limbo of not knowing whether I'm perimenopausal or just completely falling apart from normal life stress. Two kids (13 and 10, both chaotic), a job that doesn't stop, a mum who needs more from me every month. I've been going round to the GP saying I'm exhausted and anxious and can't think straight, and getting told it's probably stress, maybe depression, have you tried mindfulness? And I've been nodding along while internally screaming that something feels different, something has shifted, this isn't just stress, I know what stress feels like. Anyway. I've been keeping a rough note on my phone for the last few weeks. Just jotting down sleep, how the day felt, where I am in my cycle, what I ate for breakfast (I read something about protein in the morning and thought, fine, I'll try it, nothing to lose). Nothing scientific, just a little log so I could look back and see if there's any pattern rather than feeling like every bad day is random and endless. I cannot tell you if the breakfast thing is doing anything or if it's coincidence or if I just happened to have a good night. I'm not making any claims. But I wrote it down this morning. Circled it, actually. Because I needed to remember that this is possible. That my body can still do this. If you're in the early stages of all this and feeling like you're too young to be here and too tired to figure out what's happening, I just wanted to say: you're not imagining it, and sometimes things do shift, even a little bit. Sending that out to whoever needs it today. x

Hi all, I've been lurking for a while and finally posting because I keep reading threads and thinking "that's me, that's literally me". I'm 42, cycles have gone a bit chaotic in the last year, and I've had this low-level anxiety that I keep blaming on work or my mum being unwell or just, y'know, life being a lot. But something made me start writing things down and the pattern is a bit hard to ignore now. I feel too young to be in menopause spaces but the period tracker apps feel weirdly irrelevant too. Like I'm in a gap nobody warned me about. Mostly here to listen. Thanks for having me x

42 and I don't know where I fit. Downloaded one of those cycle apps last year and it kept asking if I was trying to conceive or avoid pregnancy and I just... neither? I'm trying to understand why my periods have gone from every 28 days to every 19, then 34, then 19 again. The app doesn't really have a box for that. But then I look at menopause forums and everyone seems to be talking about things that feel years away from me and I feel like I've wandered into the wrong room. So I've started just writing it down myself. Old school notes app. Date it started, how long, how heavy, how I felt the week before. That's it. No algorithm. Just me building up a picture so that when I finally get a GP appointment I'm not sitting there going "um, it's been a bit... different?" and having them nod and send me away. Anyone else in this weird in-between bit? Too young to feel like this makes sense, too old for the apps to be helpful? x

42 and I genuinely don't know where I fit. The menopause forums feel like they're for women whose kids are grown and who have a folder of blood results. The period apps want me to log my mood with a little sun emoji and tell me my fertile window like I care. Neither one is for me right now. My cycles have been doing something weird for about eight months. Used to be 28 days, reliable as anything. Now it's 24, then 31, then 26, then I had one that was just... odd. Lighter, then heavier, then done in four days when I normally go six. I only noticed because I started jotting it down in my notes app after the third one caught me off guard. I keep thinking I should bring it up with my GP but I don't know how to say it without sounding like I've been down a rabbit hole at midnight (I have, obviously). What do I even say? "My periods have changed but I'm not in pain and my smear was fine and I'm probably just stressed"? That's exactly what I'd say and then I'd walk out with nothing. Anyway. Just eating something proper before work has been the one thing that actually makes the 11am brain fog slightly less awful. Not a cure. Just less grim. That's about the level of progress I'm at. x

42 and feeling like I've fallen through a gap. Period apps keep showing me fertility windows and ovulation stickers and I'm there like, that's not really why I'm here anymore. But then I look at menopause forums and everyone's talking about being post-menopausal for years and I think, am I even allowed in? My cycles have gone a bit strange the last six months, shorter, then longer, then a 19-day one that absolutely floored me, and I've started keeping notes on my phone just to have something concrete to show the GP. Not sure what I'm expecting her to say but "you're 42, it's probably stress" is not going to cut it this time. Anyway. Hi. Glad this place exists.

I've been putting off this GP appointment for months because every time I try to explain what's going on I end up sounding vague and then walk out with nothing. So I've actually started a notes page on my phone this week. Cycles are the main thing. They've gone from 28 days like clockwork to anywhere between 22 and 38, which started maybe eight or nine months ago and I never wrote it down so I'm having to piece it together from memory. Lesson learned. Also on the list: the anxiety that wakes me up at 3am for no reason, the brain fog that makes me feel like I'm doing my job through cotton wool, and the fact that I've been so tired I cancelled plans three weekends in a row. I keep second-guessing whether this is even worth bringing up or if she'll just say it's stress. I'm 42 and I feel too young to be in this conversation but also too old to keep ignoring it. Writing it all down at least makes it feel real x

Okay so I finally got a GP appointment after waiting three weeks, went in with my little list, felt quite proud of myself. And then the brain fog just... descended. Mid-sentence. I forgot the word for the thing where your heart goes fast. Palpitations. I forgot palpitations. She was lovely actually, but I came out having covered about half of what I needed to say. My mum always said doctors make her nervous and I used to think that was just her being her. Turns out it's hereditary apparently. Anyone else write a list and still somehow blank? I'm going back in a fortnight and I'm thinking of just handing the paper over and saying read this please x

Jun 21 · Liked post

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Right so I finally did it. Walked into the leisure centre on Tuesday looking like someone's nan who'd taken a wrong turn, found the weights area, and just... stood there for a good three minutes pretending to read the notices. 😂 I'm 58, been on HRT for about four years now, and my GP mentioned at my last review that we should probably start thinking about whether I stay on it long term. Which honestly sent me down a bit of a rabbit hole about bones and muscle and all the rest of it. I'm not ready to feel old. I'm really not. So I've started going twice a week. Just the basics, nothing heroic. The bloke next to me on Monday was doing things with a barbell that made me feel like I'd wandered onto a different planet, but I ignored him and did my squats and my rows and felt quietly pleased with myself on the way home. The protein thing I'm trying to get my head round too. I've always been a cereal-and-toast person and apparently that is not going to cut it if I want to keep any muscle. So I've been eating more eggs, more fish, Greek yoghurt. My husband thinks I've joined a cult. Anyone else come to this late and felt completely out of place at first? Does it get less weird? x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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52 and I have finally booked a GP appointment for next week, which sounds like nothing but has taken me about three months to actually do. The problem is every time I get in that room my brain just... empties. I'll have spent the whole drive there running through what I want to say and then she asks "so what's brought you in today" and I say something like "oh just a bit tired I suppose" and that's it, appointment over, nothing changes. So this time I'm writing it all down beforehand. Properly. I've been keeping a note on my phone this week, just jotting when I wake (it's almost always between 3 and 4, almost to the minute, it's uncanny), how I feel when I eventually get up, whether the anxiety is bad. Nothing fancy, just a rough log so I have something to show her rather than relying on my absolutely useless memory. I want to ask about HRT specifically and whether it can help with sleep, because that's genuinely the thing that's wrecking me most right now. Not the other stuff, the sleep. I've read a bit about oestrogen and sleep cycles and I don't want to go in sounding like I've self-diagnosed off the internet but I also don't want to be fobbed off with "have you tried sleep hygiene" again. Has anyone managed to have a useful conversation with their GP about HRT and sleep specifically? What actually worked to get them to take it seriously? x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Right so I've started writing my cycle down because something has shifted and I can't tell if it's just stress or something else. Used to be 28 days like clockwork. Last three months: 24, 31, 26. Not dramatic but... different? I'm 38 so everyone just says it's probably nothing. I'm not panicking, just logging it. Also noting the days where the brain fog is genuinely embarrassing at work. Going to take it to my GP at some point and try not to sound like I've been googling at midnight. (I have been googling at midnight.)

Jun 20 · Liked post

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I'm 40 and I feel like I'm not allowed to be here yet. But my cycles have gone weird, I'm exhausted in a way sleep doesn't fix, and my brain just will not cooperate at work. I keep googling at 11pm and going down rabbit holes and then feeling dramatic about it. I mentioned it to my GP and she did a blood test and said it was normal. That was it. No follow-up, no conversation about what might be changing. I didn't know what to ask. I'm starting to write down what's different compared to this time last year. Just so I have something concrete to say next time. Because right now I sound vague even to myself x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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51 and something happened in my appraisal last week that I still haven't fully gotten over. My manager asked me to summarise the project outcomes and I just... sat there. I knew what I wanted to say. It was all there somewhere. But the words came out in the wrong order and then stopped altogether and I ended up saying "you know, the thing, the data thing" like an absolute liability. I've worked in this field for nearly twenty years. I don't know if this is perimenopause or burnout or both happening at the same time and honestly I'm not sure it matters because the effect is the same. I sit in meetings now and I write everything down in advance because I genuinely cannot trust what will come out of my mouth if I wing it. Pre-meeting notes, mid-meeting notes, post-meeting notes. I am essentially a one-woman paper trail just to function at the level I managed effortlessly five years ago. The other thing I've started noticing is the 3pm wall. Not tired exactly, more like someone turned the brightness down on my brain. I've been keeping a bag of mixed nuts and a couple of oatcakes at my desk because I read something about blood sugar and cognition and I'll try anything at this point. Genuinely no idea if it's helping but it gives me something to do that isn't panicking. Sleep is the other piece. I've started going to bed at the same time every night like a child, no screens after half ten, which my teenagers find hilarious. But the nights I actually sleep properly I am measurably better the next day. That much I'm certain of. Going to the GP next month and I want to explain how this is affecting my work specifically, not just "I'm a bit fuzzy". Has anyone done that? Brought actual examples? I keep wondering if they'll take it more seriously if I come in with a list of concrete incidents rather than just describing a vague feeling x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Not menopause related (or maybe it is, who knows at this point) but does anyone have genuinely quick weeknight dinners that don't require thinking? I've done the pasta thing to death. Kids are 9 and 12 so they'll eat most things but I have approximately zero decision-making capacity left by 6pm. I used to be someone who meal planned. I do not know who that person was. Bonus if it involves minimal washing up. I'm not above a sheet pan situation. Thanks in advance x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Stood in the middle of a presentation last Tuesday and completely lost the thread. Not just the word, the actual thread of what I was saying. Just... gone. I could see my manager's face doing that polite waiting thing and I wanted to disappear through the floor. I've been a comms manager for twelve years. Twelve years. I don't lose threads. I'm 51 and I genuinely don't know if this is perimenopause or if I'm just exhausted or both, but something has shifted and it's starting to scare me a bit. I used to be the one people came to when they needed something explained clearly. Now I'm standing there grasping at words like they're soap in the bath. The only thing that's helped even slightly is keeping a proper sleep cutoff. I used to answer emails until 11pm because that's just how the job is. I've been trying to stop at half nine and actually get horizontal by ten. On the nights I manage it I'm not fixed but I'm... less underwater the next day. That's genuinely the best I can say for it. Also been experimenting with what I eat around 3pm because the afternoon crash is when the fog is worst. Used to grab whatever biscuits were in the kitchen. Now I'm trying to have something with a bit more substance before the crash hits rather than after. Still working out what actually makes a difference vs what I just hope is making a difference. When I finally see my GP I want to be able to describe this properly, the work stuff specifically, not just "I feel tired". Has anyone found a good way to explain cognitive slips to their doctor without sounding like you're being dramatic? Because I'm not being dramatic. This is my livelihood and it's wobbling. x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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Nobody warned me. That is the thing I keep coming back to. I am 47 and my cycles have been doing something completely different for about eighteen months and I genuinely thought I was just stressed or run down or not eating properly or all three at once. They are shorter now, sometimes 24 days, sometimes 31, one time 19 which properly scared me. My GP ran bloods and said everything was "within normal range" and that was sort of... it. No follow-up. No mention of perimenopause. I had to google my way here at half eleven on a Wednesday. I started keeping a rough note on my phone, just cycle dates and how I feel the week before, because I realised I had no actual evidence when I tried to describe it to anyone. The sleep stuff is new as well. I wake up at about 3am and cannot get back off, and I have noticed that if I have had coffee after two o'clock it is worse. Not revolutionary information but I had not connected it before. The breakfast thing sounds daft but I started eating something proper before I leave the house and I feel less like I am running on fumes by ten. Whether that is related to any of this I have no idea. I want to go back to the GP with something concrete. Like, here are my cycle dates for the last year, here is what changed, here is what is different compared to two years ago. Because "I feel a bit off" clearly got me nowhere x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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Right, rant incoming, sorry in advance. Saw my GP last month about the flushes. Told her I was waking up soaked through twice, sometimes three times a night, that I'd had to start keeping a change of clothes next to the bed like some kind of sweaty Girl Guide. She said "it could be stress" and referred me for a blood test that apparently tells her nothing useful at this stage anyway. Sent me off with a leaflet. I've got another appointment booked and I am NOT leaving without a proper conversation this time. I've been writing stuff down, flush times, how bad the sleep disruption is, how it's affecting my concentration at work, because I figure if I turn up with actual evidence she can't just wave me out the door again. What I genuinely don't know is how to ask about HRT without sounding like I've already diagnosed myself off the internet (I have, but still). Like, is there a way to ask about patches versus gel without her getting defensive? I don't mind which form I end up on, I just want to know what the options even are. Does anyone else find GPs weirdly cagey about explaining the difference? Also on a completely unrelated note I've started eating a lot of cold cucumber and yoghurt things for lunch because hot food at my desk is now genuinely unbearable 😂 if nothing else perimenopause is improving my salad intake. Any tips for the appointment gratefully received x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Okay so. Divorced fourteen months ago and I have a doctor's appointment next week and I genuinely don't know how to say half of what I need to say out loud to another human being. Like. How do you tell your OB that intimacy feels terrifying now, not because of him (my ex) but because my body has become this unpredictable stranger I don't fully recognize anymore? The dryness, the way I feel weirdly detached from myself some nights, the zero libido that I keep hoping is temporary. I've been jotting stuff down in my notes app for the appointment. Not organized, just fragments. "Tell her about the dryness. Tell her about the anxiety spike around dating. Tell her it's affecting how I see myself, not just physically." I figure if I write it I might actually say it instead of doing that thing where you get in the room and suddenly everything feels fine and you walk out having talked about nothing real. Also I've been cooking for one for over a year and I still make enough pasta for four people every single time. That has nothing to do with menopause but it feels related somehow. Like I'm still figuring out what my life is sized for now. Anyone been through this? The starting-over thing on top of the body-changing thing? It's a lot.

Jun 18 · Liked post

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42 and my periods have turned into something I genuinely don't recognise. Last month I went through a whole pack of the thick ones in two days and had to cancel a meeting because I was too scared to stand up. The month before that it barely showed up at all. There is no pattern. There is nothing to predict. I've started scribbling things down in my notes app because I kept going blank when I tried to explain it to anyone, how heavy is heavy, how tired is tired, it all sounds vague when you say it out loud. So now I write it down on the day. What I used, how many hours it lasted, whether I could function or whether I just kind of... endured it. I've got a GP appointment next week and I want to go in actually prepared for once, not just saying "it's a lot" and getting a shrug. Someone in another thread mentioned asking specifically about ferritin rather than just general iron, and that's stuck with me because I am exhausted in a way that sleep doesn't touch. Like properly bone-tired by 11am. Also on heavy days I cannot face cooking anything. Last week I just did tinned lentil soup with a fried egg on top and honestly it kept me going. Not glamorous but it was something. Does anyone have a list of what they actually asked at their appointment? I want to go in with questions written down so I don't forget everything the moment I sit down. x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Okay so can I just ask... did anyone else's cycle just start doing whatever it wants with zero warning? Like I've had a 28-day cycle basically my whole adult life and then this past year it's been 22 days, 35 days, 26 days, 19 days. NINETEEN. I'm 41. Nobody told me this could start happening at 41. I went down a rabbit hole at midnight (classic) and kept landing on perimenopause content and honestly my first reaction was denial because I thought that was a 50-something thing. But the more I read the more I was like... oh. Oh no. I've started keeping a little calendar on my phone. Just the cycle dates, plus whatever I'm feeling that week. Anxious for no reason. Exhausted even after a full night. Snapping at my kids over nothing and then feeling awful about it. I don't know what's connected to what yet but writing it down feels better than just white-knuckling through each month wondering why I feel like a different person. I have an appointment coming up and I'm genuinely nervous my doctor is going to look at my age and shrug. Like how do I even bring the cycle changes up without sounding like I've diagnosed myself off TikTok? I want to show her the pattern without her dismissing it as stress. (It might also be stress. I have a lot of stress. But it's not ONLY stress, I don't think.) Anyway. Hi. First post. Glad this place exists.

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Hi all. 58, post-menopause, finally feeling cautiously better after a rough few years. Here to listen more than talk but glad to be here x

Jun 17 · Liked post

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Okay so I'm 39 and my cycles started doing weird things about eight months ago. I'd been on the same app since forever (Clue) and suddenly it's just... wrong. Like it's predicting based on who I used to be, not whatever is happening now. My cycles have swung from 26 days to 38 days in the same three-month stretch and the app just kind of shrugs at me. I started keeping a notes doc instead. Just dates, a few words about how I felt, any symptoms that seemed connected. It's not pretty but it's actually more useful than any app I've tried because I can write things like "woke up at 4am convinced something was wrong, nothing was wrong" and that means something to me. But I'm wondering if there's something in between. An app that's actually designed for irregular cycles, or for people who might be in early peri, not just for people trying to conceive or avoid. I don't need ovulation predictions right now. I need something that helps me see patterns across months without assuming my cycle is 28 days. I've seen a few mentioned in passing but I don't want to download six apps and test them all. Does anyone use something that handles the irregularity without making you feel like a bug in the system? Doesn't need to be fancy. I'm saving whatever I find for my OBGYN appointment anyway, so the main thing is that it's easy to export or screenshot. ETA: not looking for anything that tells me what's causing it, just something that helps me track it clearly. I can figure out the rest.

Jun 17 · Liked post

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Okay totally off topic but I need help. I have two teenagers, it's been a week, and I have approximately zero bandwidth left for dinner decisions. What are you all actually making on the nights when you're running on fumes and one wrong comment from a family member away from losing it completely? Bonus points if it involves minimal dishes. Double bonus if nobody complains. (I know. I know that's not possible. But a woman can dream.) Seriously though. Hit me. 🙏

Jun 17 · Liked post

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Hi all. I've been lurking for about three weeks and finally made an account. I'm 44, two kids, working full time, and my periods have gone completely feral in the last year. Heavy, unpredictable, and I'm back to carrying spare clothes in my bag like I'm fifteen. The exhaustion is the part that's really getting to me though. I keep thinking I'm just tired from everything else but I'm starting to wonder. Glad this place exists. Thanks for having me x

Jun 16 · Liked post

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Is it just me or did nobody warn you that at 50 your periods would basically become feral?? I've gone from clockwork every 28 days to absolutely no idea, and when they do arrive they're just... a lot. Like embarrassingly a lot. I flooded through onto a chair at work last month and I wanted to disappear into the floor. I've started keeping a rough calendar on my phone because I genuinely cannot predict anything anymore and I need to at least be able to show the GP something concrete. So now I'm writing down when it starts, how heavy (I've resorted to actual numbers, pads per day, glamorous stuff), and how wiped out I feel afterwards because the exhaustion is something else entirely. Which brings me to something I want to ask before my next appointment. Has anyone pushed specifically for iron bloodwork? I keep reading that heavy periods can tank your ferritin and I wonder if that's part of why I feel like I've been run over every few weeks. I don't want to go in and just say "I'm tired" because I know how that sounds. I want to be able to ask for something specific. Also I've been trying to eat more iron-rich stuff on the worst days, lentil soup, that kind of thing, nothing fancy, just something warm that doesn't take much effort when I can barely stand up. Honestly even that feels like progress right now. x

Jun 16 · Liked post

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51 and something shifted this year that I can't quite explain. I've always been the one in meetings who remembers everything, who finishes other people's sentences, who catches the thing nobody wrote down. And now I'm the one who stops mid-sentence and just... floats there. Yesterday I completely lost the word 'procurement'. I work in procurement. I've worked in procurement for eleven years. I smiled and said 'sorry, brain's a bit slow today' and everyone laughed and moved on, but inside I was mortified. It's happening more and more and I'm starting to dread speaking up in front of senior people in case I just go blank. I've been wondering whether this is peri or whether I've just burned myself out, because honestly it could be either. Maybe both. I don't know. I started keeping a little note in my phone before meetings, just words I might need. Feels a bit ridiculous at 51 but it genuinely helps. Also trying to sort out my sleep because I read somewhere that's where memory consolidation happens and I've been getting about five broken hours which can't be helping. Has anyone actually gone to their GP and described it in work terms? Like specifically said 'this is affecting my job'? I feel like if I just say 'a bit forgetful' they'll tell me to drink more water. But if I said I nearly lost my thread presenting to the board last month, that feels more... real? I'm trying to frame it properly before I make an appointment x

Jun 16 · Liked post

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43 and I genuinely don't know if I'm falling apart or if this is just... being 43 with a full-time job and two kids who still need me for everything. Periods have gone a bit weird in the last few months. Used to be like clockwork, now they're showing up early, then late, then really heavy for one cycle and barely there the next. I've started writing it down because I kept forgetting what had happened the month before and then sounding vague at the GP. The anxiety is the bit that's really getting me though. I've always been a bit of a worrier but this feels different. Like it's not about anything specific, it's just there when I wake up. And I'm SO tired but then I can't sleep properly and my brain is just foggy all day. I've been wondering if food has something to do with it because the weeks I actually manage a proper dinner instead of whatever's fastest feel slightly less grim. The thing is I don't know how to bring this up at the GP without sounding like I'm just describing being a tired working mum in 2024. Like, is that all this is? Am I going to go in there and they're going to look at me like I've wasted their time? I'm 43. I keep reading that's too young but then I read it's not?? Does this sound familiar to anyone here x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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Okay so I went down a rabbit hole at 2am last Tuesday because I couldn't sleep AGAIN and I swear every account I landed on was selling me something. Magnesium for sleep! Ashwagandha for cortisol! This adaptogen blend for brain fog! All with before and after photos and women who look like they just returned from a wellness retreat in Sedona. I'm 48, perimenopause confirmed, and I just want to hear from someone who actually tried ONE thing and noticed something real. Not a transformation. Not a rebrand. Just like... did your sleep get marginally less terrible? Did you stop losing your keys every single morning? I started eating more protein a few weeks ago, genuinely just because someone here mentioned it offhand, and that felt more grounding than anything I'd seen on Instagram. No capsules, no subscribe-and-save. Just eggs and Greek yogurt. I have an appointment with my OB in six weeks and I want to bring her an actual list of what I'm considering so she can tell me if anything conflicts with my other stuff. But right now the list is just question marks and screenshots I don't fully understand. Anyone actually doing this methodically? Like one thing, give it a few weeks, write down whether anything shifted? I need normal stories more than I need another infographic.

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Lydia, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Susan, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Wendy. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Susan, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 11 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Philippa. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 7 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Susan. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 6 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Philippa. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.