Siobhan

So yesterday was a heavy day and I was fully braced for the 2pm wall where I basically stop functioning. Made myself eat a proper lunch with some lentils and spinach in it (I know, very virtuous of me 😂) instead of just grabbing a biscuit and getting on with it. And the wall... didn't really hit? Like I still felt tired but not the can't-lift-my-arms kind. Could be nothing. Could be coincidence. Could be that I happened to sleep slightly better the night before. But I'm noting it anyway because I only ever write down the bad days and my GP appointment is coming up and I want to have something that isn't just a list of disasters x

Got a GP appointment in two weeks and I genuinely don't know what to bring. Like, I know I should have some kind of record but every month it's different and I can't tell if that's useful information or just chaos? I've started scribbling things down. How heavy (I've been doing the whole 'how many pads in how many hours' thing because I read that somewhere). Whether I had to leave work early. Whether I could actually function or just sort of existed on the sofa eating toast. The fatigue is the bit I really want to talk about because the bleeding I can describe, but trying to explain to someone that you are SO tired you can't think straight, for days at a time, around your period... I feel like it'll come out wrong and they'll just nod and say it's normal. Which I'm already pre-annoyed about tbh. Did anyone else track the fatigue impact specifically before their appointment? Like did you write down 'couldn't drive', 'missed a meeting', 'left school run to my partner because I couldn't face it'? I want to make it concrete, not just 'I feel tired', because I know how that lands. Also been trying to eat more iron-rich stuff on heavy days, mostly lentil soup and spinach with whatever because I can't be doing complicated cooking when I feel like that. Not sure if it's helping but it's something. Any advice on what actually made your GP take you seriously would be genuinely appreciated x

Right, I've got a GP appointment in three weeks and I am absolutely determined not to walk in there and go blank like last time. She asked how heavy my periods were and I just said "quite heavy" and she nodded and moved on and that was that. Quite heavy!! I had soaked through onto a chair at work, Siobhan. Quite heavy. So this time I want to actually have something written down. What did you lot track before yours? I've started noting down the days and roughly how much (light / medium / flooding, basically) but I don't know if that's enough. Should I be logging the fatigue too? Because honestly the tiredness is what's wrecking me more than anything. Last Thursday I sat in the car after the school run and genuinely could not make myself go inside. Just sat there. That feels like something a GP should know but I don't know how to say it without sounding dramatic. Also started trying to eat more iron-y things because someone mentioned it on here a while back. Lentil soup, bit of spinach, that kind of thing. Low effort because on the bad days cooking feels impossible. Not sure if it's doing anything yet. Any tips on what to actually bring to the appointment would be really appreciated x

Okay so tiny positive step but I'm noting it because I never do this. I made a little list of my symptoms before my GP appointment last week. Heavy days, the fatigue, the bit where I nearly fell asleep at pickup. Handed it over instead of trying to remember everything while she was looking at me. She actually read it. First time I've felt like the appointment went somewhere. Saving the list as a template for next time. 🤞

Not asking about insomnia exactly, more that my sleep pattern has shifted in a way I can't quite pin down. I fall asleep fine but I'm waking earlier than I used to, like properly awake at five-something, and I can't tell if that's just where I am now or something worth flagging. Curious whether anyone brought this up with their GP and what happened.

Jun 19 · Liked post

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Right. I have my GP appointment on Thursday and I've been putting off writing this list for about three weeks because every time I sit down to do it I feel like an absolute idiot. Like, how do I say this out loud to a doctor I've been seeing since I was in my forties. But I've done it. I've written it down. On actual paper, in a notebook, because if it's on my phone I'll just keep scrolling past it. Dryness. Pain during sex. A feeling that's hard to describe, sort of like a low-level irritation, almost like a UTI but not quite. And then the libido thing, which I've left to last on the list because it's the one I least want to say. My husband has been kind about it. Patient. But I can feel the distance and it's not his fault and it's not mine either, I know that, but knowing it doesn't make the conversation easier. We've not really talked about it properly. I keep meaning to. I read somewhere that there's specific language that helps doctors take the dryness seriously, like naming it as vaginal atrophy or genitourinary symptoms, rather than just going vague and hoping they fill in the gaps. So I've written that down too. I want to actually be heard this time, not just handed a leaflet about lubricants and sent on my way. I've also been trying to eat better these last few weeks, more protein, oily fish, less of the stuff that makes me crash at 3pm, partly because I feel like if I show up feeling slightly more like myself I'll be braver in the room. Whether that's logical or not I don't know. Anyway. Thursday. Wish me luck x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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39 and I've spent more time this month reading supplement labels than I have sleeping. Which is saying something given the sleeping situation. Every single account I follow has a different stack. One woman swears by ashwagandha, the next says it made her worse. Someone else is doing magnesium glycinate plus L-theanine plus lion's mane plus three other things I can't pronounce and honestly I don't know whether she feels better or she's just very good at content. I don't want content. I just want to know what an actual normal person with a job and a tight budget actually noticed. Not a transformation. Just... did it do anything or not. I've written out what I'm already taking (just vitamin D, been on it for years) and what I eat most days because I read somewhere that protein and fibre cover a lot of ground before you start spending money on capsules. I don't know if that's true but it at least felt like a sensible place to start without immediately spending £40 on something a stranger on Instagram told me to. I've got a GP appointment in six weeks and I want to bring a list of anything I'm considering so she can tell me if it clashes with anything. Is that a weird thing to do? Feels a bit anxious even typing it but I'd rather ask than just quietly take a handful of things and hope for the best x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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Nobody warned me. That is the thing I keep coming back to. I am 47 and my cycles have been doing something completely different for about eighteen months and I genuinely thought I was just stressed or run down or not eating properly or all three at once. They are shorter now, sometimes 24 days, sometimes 31, one time 19 which properly scared me. My GP ran bloods and said everything was "within normal range" and that was sort of... it. No follow-up. No mention of perimenopause. I had to google my way here at half eleven on a Wednesday. I started keeping a rough note on my phone, just cycle dates and how I feel the week before, because I realised I had no actual evidence when I tried to describe it to anyone. The sleep stuff is new as well. I wake up at about 3am and cannot get back off, and I have noticed that if I have had coffee after two o'clock it is worse. Not revolutionary information but I had not connected it before. The breakfast thing sounds daft but I started eating something proper before I leave the house and I feel less like I am running on fumes by ten. Whether that is related to any of this I have no idea. I want to go back to the GP with something concrete. Like, here are my cycle dates for the last year, here is what changed, here is what is different compared to two years ago. Because "I feel a bit off" clearly got me nowhere x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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Okay so my ovaries are still technically there and my doctor keeps saying "perimenopause" but everything happened SO fast after my surgery in March that I genuinely don't know how to describe what's going on to anyone. Like the standard timeline stuff I read doesn't fit. Hot flashes started within two weeks of my procedure. Two weeks. The women in most spaces are talking about a slow creep over years and I'm sitting here like... that is not my story at all. I've been keeping notes on my phone because I couldn't hold it all in my head anymore. Not a fancy app, just a note. Date, what hit me, how bad, did I sleep. Turns out I've had maybe four full nights of sleep since April. Four. Writing it down made that visible in a way that genuinely shocked me. Food-wise my appetite has been all over the place during recovery. Some days I just don't want to eat but I noticed I feel worse on those days so I've been making myself do eggs or Greek yogurt or whatever protein I can stomach even when nothing sounds good. No idea if it's doing anything but it feels like the one thing I can actually control right now. I have a follow-up next month and I am building a list of questions because last time I left feeling like I hadn't said half of what I meant to say. Top of the list: does the speed of onset change anything about what I should expect? Because nobody has addressed that and it's the thing keeping me up at 3am. Well. That and the hot flashes obviously.

Jun 19 · Liked post

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Right. Sixty one, postmenopause, and the three o'clock wall is absolutely flooring me at the moment. Not tired exactly, more like someone's pulled a plug somewhere. I used to just push through it but lately I genuinely cannot think straight by half two. I mentioned it to my GP last month and she nodded and moved on, which was helpful. I'm going back in a few weeks and I want to actually be useful this time, so I've been scribbling down when it hits and what I've eaten beforehand. The pattern I'm seeing is that on days I've had a proper lunch I'm slightly less wrecked. Slightly. It's not a miracle but it's something. Food-wise I'm on a tight budget so I can't do the whole buy seventeen different seeds situation. What I've started doing is cooking a proper dinner three nights a week, something with actual protein in it, eggs, lentils, tinned fish, that sort of thing, and making enough to have leftovers for the next day's lunch. It's saved me from eating toast at one pm and then wondering why I'm face down on the desk by three. Has anyone else tracked the crash and actually found something that shifted it? I don't want to go to the GP with nothing. I want to be able to say here's what I've noticed, here's what I've tried, what should we look at. x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Right so I've been meaning to write this down somewhere and this feels like the right place because at least someone might read it and I'll feel accountable. I'm not calling this a plan. I've had enough of plans. Plans make me feel like I'm already failing before I've started, and the last thing I need right now on top of everything else is another thing to fail at. So this is just an experiment. A quiet one. A nobody-needs-to-know-except-this-forum one. Here's what I'm trying this week. I'm going to write down how I sleep each night, just a quick note on my phone, nothing fancy, not an app, not a spreadsheet, just a few words. Woke at 2, hot, couldn't settle. Or slept through, bit groggy. That kind of thing. I've noticed over the past few months that I can't actually remember what a good night feels like versus a bad one, they've all blurred into this general fog of not-quite-rested, and I want to see if there's actually a pattern or whether I'm just catastrophising on the tired days. I'm also going to try eating something proper before I open my laptop in the morning. Not a full production, just something with a bit of substance to it. I've been skipping breakfast or grabbing something on autopilot and then wondering why I feel terrible by eleven. I'm not making any claims about what that will or won't do, I'm genuinely just curious whether there's a connection for me personally. And the third thing, which feels almost embarrassingly small, is a short walk after dinner a few nights this week. Not every night, I'm not setting myself up like that. Just a few nights. Ten minutes maybe. Enough to get outside and feel like I did something. I'm writing this here partly because I know myself and if I don't tell someone I'll quietly abandon it by Wednesday and pretend I never said anything. And partly because I remember reading something on here a while back, someone doing a similar kind of low-stakes logging thing, and it made me feel like this kind of careful, gentle noticing was actually allowed. That you don't have to overhaul everything at once. I'll come back and say how it went. Even if it went nowhere. Especially if it went nowhere, actually, because that's useful information too. x

Jun 17 · Liked post

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I've been putting off making this appointment for about three months now because every time I sit down to think about what I'd actually say, I end up going blank or convincing myself it's nothing. Like, what am I going to tell her? That I'm tired? That I'm a bit anxious? That my periods are a bit weird? She's going to look at me and say I have two children and a full-time job and ask if I've tried getting more sleep. Which, yes, I have thought of that, thank you. But I finally started writing things down properly this week. Not just a list in my head that dissolves the moment I walk into the surgery, but an actual notes page. And honestly, seeing it all written out in one place was a bit of a moment. It's longer than I expected. Cycles that have gone from 28 days to anywhere between 22 and 35 over the past year and a half. The sleep thing, which I kept dismissing as stress but has been going on longer than any particular stressful period. The anxiety that arrives at about 3am for no reason I can identify. The brain fog that made me re-read the same paragraph four times last Tuesday and then just give up. The hot flushes I kept calling 'feeling warm' because I thought I was too young for hot flushes at 44. A few other things I've written down and then nearly deleted because they feel embarrassing, but I've kept them in because I read somewhere that the things you skip are sometimes the most useful ones to mention. I'm also trying to think about what I actually want from the appointment, which I've never done before. I usually just go in and answer questions and come out with whatever I'm given. But I want to ask about bloodwork. I want to ask whether what I'm describing fits a pattern she recognises. I want to ask what would change if it were perimenopause versus if it were something else. I want to not feel fobbed off. I'm not going in demanding anything. I just want to have a conversation where I don't forget half of it the moment I sit down, and where I don't minimise everything because I'm worried about wasting her time. Has anyone else done this? Made a proper list before a GP appointment about this stuff? Did it help? Did you actually hand it over or just use it as a prompt? I'm genuinely unsure whether to print it out or just glance at my phone. I don't want to look like I've self-diagnosed off the internet, even though I absolutely have spent several evenings doing exactly that. x

Jun 16 · Liked post

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ok so this is going to be a long one, sorry in advance, i'm typing this at 11pm which is basically my new normal because sleep is apparently optional now?? I've been trying to track my cycles and symptoms properly for about two months because I have a GP appointment coming up and I want to go in with actual information rather than just saying 'I feel weird and tired and anxious and also my periods have gone strange' and watching her nod politely and do nothing. I need dates. I need patterns. I need evidence basically. So I downloaded about four different apps. Here is my extremely unglamorous review of all of them. The first one was clearly designed for people trying to get pregnant. Every single screen was about fertile windows and ovulation and I'm 40 and in the middle of wondering if I'm perimenopausal so that was a fun mismatch. Deleted it after three days. The second one was actually okay for logging periods but the symptom options were really limited? Like I could log 'cramps' and 'bloating' but there was no option for 'sat in the car park at Tesco for ten minutes because I couldn't remember why I'd driven there' or 'cried at a Boden email'. Brain fog wasn't even a category. Mood options were basically happy, sad, or anxious, which doesn't really capture the specific flavour of 'fine but also somehow not fine at all'. The third one wanted me to pay £9.99 a month before I could see my own data properly which, no. The fourth one I'm still using. It's not perfect. The interface is a bit clunky and I keep accidentally logging the wrong date. But it lets me add free text notes which is the bit I actually needed. So now I'm writing things like 'woke at 3am, mind racing, nothing specific' or 'period started, heavier than last month, really tired by 2pm'. Just observations really. Not sure what I'll do with it yet but at least I'll have something to show someone. What I actually want to know is whether anyone has found something better. Specifically something that doesn't assume you're either trying to conceive or already fully in menopause, because I'm in this weird middle bit where I don't quite fit either. My cycles have changed, I'm anxious in a way I wasn't two years ago, I'm tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix, and I'm 40 which apparently means I'm 'too young' for some of this conversation but also old enough that my body is clearly doing something. Also does anyone just use a notes app or a paper diary? I keep thinking maybe simpler is better and I'm overcomplicating this. Would love to know what's actually working for people in this room specifically, not just general period trackers designed for 25 year olds x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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GP appointment next Thursday and I want to actually go in prepared this time, not just sit there going 'um, it's quite heavy I suppose' while she nods and sends me away with nothing. So can I ask, what did you lot actually write down before yours? Like, did you track every day or just the worst days? Did you note clots separately? I've started jotting things in my phone notes but I don't know if I'm recording the right stuff. Also wondering whether to push for iron bloods specifically or just see what she offers. Last time my levels came back 'within range' but I was barely functioning by day three of my period. Feels like there's a gap between the numbers being technically fine and me nearly falling asleep on the school run. Any pointers gratefully received x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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39. Woke up at 3.17am last night. The night before it was 3.04. Before that, 3.20. I've started noticing the exact time because it's so consistent it's actually freaking me out a bit. I don't wake up panicking or sweating, just... awake. Completely awake. Lying there with my brain going at full speed about absolutely nothing and everything at once. Then I'm exhausted by 9am and somehow expected to function. The thing is I don't know what to call it when I go to the GP. "I keep waking up in the night" sounds like I just need a chamomile tea and an early bedtime. They're going to think I'm stressed. And I probably AM stressed but this feels different to normal stressed, if that makes any sense at all? I've been cutting back on wine in the week because I read somewhere that even one glass can wreck your sleep architecture, and honestly the waking pattern hasn't changed but I feel slightly less grim in the morning so maybe something. Going to write everything down before my appointment. Dates, times, how I felt, all of it. Because the minute I'm in that room I will say "oh I've just been a bit tired" and walk out with nothing. I know myself. Anyone managed to explain vague symptoms to their GP without sounding like they're making it up? x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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Anyone tried those cooling mattress pads? Hot flashes are winning lately and I'm desperate. US recs preferred, honest reviews only please 😩

Jun 15 · Liked post

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51 and I have got a GP appointment on Thursday and I am already panicking that I will walk in there and forget every single thing I have been struggling with for months. So I am writing it all down now, while I am tired and caffeinated and actually remember how bad it has been. The sleep is the main thing. I keep waking somewhere between 2.30 and 4am and then that is just it, I am awake, mind going ten to the dozen, heart doing a little performance. And then I have to go to work and function like a person. I have been doing a rough note each morning this week, just time I woke up, how anxious I felt, how bad the day was after. Nothing fancy, just so I have something concrete to show her rather than sitting there going "well I don't sleep great". I also want to ask about HRT properly this time. Last appointment I sort of hinted and she moved on and I let her, because I always do that. This time I have actually written it at the top of my notes: ASK ABOUT HRT AND SLEEP. In capitals so I cannot gloss over it. I have been cutting back on wine in the week as well, not because anyone told me to, just noticed it made the 3am thing much worse. Three weeks of mostly not drinking Sunday to Thursday and honestly the nights are... slightly less catastrophic? Still not good but slightly less. Anyone else had to fight a bit to get taken seriously about the sleep stuff? I don't want to go in dramatic but I also don't want to come out with nothing again x

Jun 13 · Liked post

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Okay so I'm not after anyone telling me what to do, genuinely, I just want to know if other people have noticed a difference between the patch and the gel in terms of how hot they actually get. Like the physical heat of a flush. Because I've been keeping this slightly obsessive little temperature diary since January (yes I know) and when I look back at the weeks I was trialling one versus the other there does seem to be a pattern in my flush frequency but I honestly can't tell if that's real or if I'm just finding shapes in clouds. The diary thing started because my GP kept saying "how often are you having them" and I'd just go blank. Every time. So now I write it down. Morning, afternoon, night, how bad on a rough scale of one to three, whether I woke up or not. It's quite a lot of paper. Also I've started eating differently in the evenings, cooler stuff, less faff, mostly salads and cold things because I can't face cooking when I already feel like a radiator. Whether that's doing anything I have no idea but at least dinner isn't making it worse. Anyway. Patch or gel. That's all I'm really wondering about. Not what I should do, just what other people noticed. x

Jun 13 · Liked post

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Okay so I've been in this community for a while now and I've been in a weird in-between place lately. Not terrible, not great. The hot flashes are manageable most days since my OBGYN adjusted things back in the spring, but sleep is still hit or miss and my energy crashes hard around 3pm every single day without fail. So I'm trying something this week and I'm posting it here mostly to hold myself accountable because if I just think it in my head it will not happen lol. I'm going to eat actual protein at breakfast instead of just coffee and half a granola bar. I'm going to take a short walk after dinner, like 15-20 minutes, nothing heroic. And I'm going to write down how I sleep and how the afternoon crash feels each day. That's it. Three things. I'm not calling it a protocol or a program because the second I do that I will immediately resent it and quit. I'm also not saying any of this will work. I genuinely don't know. I've seen people mention the protein breakfast thing in here before and I keep nodding along and then eating nothing until noon like an idiot. So this is me actually trying it instead of just nodding. I'll report back. Probably with complaints. But also maybe with something useful. ETA: I'm keeping notes in my phone to bring to my follow-up next month. My OBGYN asked me to track what's improved and what still needs attention and honestly I've been bad at doing that. This week I'm actually doing it. Sending love to everyone in the in-between 💙

Jun 13 · Liked post

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Right. I have been sitting here for twenty minutes trying to work out how to describe what's been happening to my body in a way that won't make me die of embarrassment in the GP's office. I'm 58. Postmenopause. And I have been quietly struggling with dryness and what I can only describe as a kind of... aching soreness that makes intimacy feel like something to dread rather than want. My husband hasn't said anything. He wouldn't. But I can feel the distance and I don't know how much of it is real and how much is in my head. I've started writing things down before the appointment because every single time I've been in that room I've gone blank and come out having only mentioned half of what I went in for. So I've got a little list in my notes app. Things like: discomfort during sex, not just dryness but a kind of rawness afterwards. UTI symptoms that keep coming back but the tests keep coming back clear. And this general flatness about intimacy that I genuinely can't tell is physical or emotional or both. I've been reading about local oestrogen and wondering if that's something I should be asking about specifically. I've also been trying to eat a bit better, more iron, more protein, just trying to feel less like I'm running on fumes, which I think bleeds into everything including how I feel about myself. The relationship conversation is the bit I'm most scared of honestly. Not the GP. My husband. I don't know how to start it without it sounding like a complaint or a rejection. Anyone else navigated that bit? x

Jun 12 · Liked post

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59 and I've quietly put on about a stone and a half since my periods stopped and I genuinely can't work out when it happened. Went back through some photos trying to pin down a rough timeline because my GP asked and I just stood there going "erm, maybe two years ago? three?" which wasn't very helpful for either of us. Anyway. The thing I'm actually here about is feeding a family while also quietly trying to eat more protein without making a whole announcement about it. My husband will eat anything. My youngest (still at home, 22, acts like he's 14) will not eat anything that looks "healthy" which is exhausting. So I've been sneaking things in. Lentils in the mince. Extra eggs in stuff. Tin of cannellini beans bulking out a chicken tray bake. Nobody has died or complained. Meals are also cheaper which is a bonus I did not expect. The other thing I've started doing is a little walk after dinner. Not a hike. Literally ten minutes round the block while it's still light. I don't always want to go but I almost always feel better for it. Something about not just sitting straight down after eating. No dramatic conclusions. Just noticing things. x

Jun 12 · Liked post

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I've been meaning to write this for a few days because I kept waiting to see if it would hold. It has, mostly. So here I am. About eight weeks ago I was in a pretty dark place with the sleep. Waking at all hours, hot flushes that felt almost theatrical they were so relentless, and this sort of low-grade dread that sat on my chest from the moment I opened my eyes. I remember reading posts in here and feeling both comforted and quietly desperate, thinking, will I ever get to write one of these 'things are better' posts? I'm not going to tell anyone what to do because I genuinely don't know what has made the difference, or whether it's one thing or several things or just time. What I can say is that I have been eating the same breakfast most mornings (eggs, usually, or sometimes yogurt with something in it) and I've been walking, not dramatically, just around the block after dinner when I can face it. And I had a follow-up with my GP who actually listened this time, which I think mattered more than I realised it would. The sleep is not perfect. Last night I woke at 4am and lay there for a bit. But I went back to sleep, which I wasn't doing before. The flushes are quieter. My mood is... recognisably mine again, which sounds small but honestly it's the thing I missed most. I just wanted to put this here for anyone who is in the thick of it right now. I know one person's better week means nothing really. But when I was struggling I needed to read that it could shift. So. It can shift. Sending a lot of warmth to anyone who needs it today x

Jun 12 · Liked post

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47 and nobody warned me about this bit. My cycles have just gone... weird. Like 24 days, then 34 days, then 27, then nothing for six weeks and I thought I was pregnant (I am not). I have been a 28-day-like-clockwork woman since I was 15 so this has completely thrown me. I've started writing it down because I couldn't keep it in my head and I wanted something concrete to show my GP rather than just saying "things feel off". Also tracking when I sleep badly and how much caffeine I've had that day because I noticed the nights I have a second coffee after 2pm are the nights I wake up at 3am staring at the ceiling convinced I'm dying. And the mornings after those nights are... not good. Brain fog doesn't cover it. I basically need a proper breakfast or I'm useless until noon, which I never used to need. I keep second-guessing whether any of this is worth mentioning to my GP. Like will she just say it's normal variation? But the changes since last year are pretty stark when I write them side by side. So I'm going to bring the notes and see what she says. Bit nervous honestly. x

Jun 12 · Liked post

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Okay so I started writing things down this week because my OBGYN appointment is coming up and I know I'm going to blank completely the second I sit down in that chair. Nothing fancy, just a notes app entry each evening: how heavy, how tired, whether I had to do the emergency-bag-check before leaving the house. Already noticing that day 2 and 3 are a whole different level from what they used to be, like I genuinely thought I was imagining it getting worse but seeing it written down is kind of clarifying? Also tracking the afternoon crash because I cannot tell anymore if that's the bleeding or just... life. Saving all of it for my appointment. ETA: added an iron-rich dinner column too because why not, might as well see if there's anything there.

Jun 12 · Liked post

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50 in March and I've spent the last fortnight actually counting my flushes. Like, properly writing them down in the notes app on my phone because I knew if I walked into the GP surgery and she asked "how often" I'd just say "loads" and look like an idiot. Turns out it's been between 8 and 14 a day. Some days more. I didn't realise it was that many until I started logging them. There's something quite grim about seeing it written out. Anyway. My appointment's next week and I'm trying to work out what to actually say when we get to the HRT conversation. Not asking for advice on what to push for, honestly I just want to hear other people's patch vs gel experiences? Like not the medical stuff, just the day to day of it. Does the patch stay on in the shower, does the gel feel weird, does any of it just feel normal after a while. That sort of thing. Also on a completely unrelated note I've started eating a lot of cold food in the evenings because I cannot face cooking something hot and then having a flush halfway through. Salads, cold chicken, bits of this and that. My husband thinks I've lost the plot but honestly it's the only time of day I feel vaguely human. Sorry this is a bit all over the place. Just needed to get it out before the appointment x

Jun 21 · Replied to Community post

Oh this is lovely. The "someone's nan who'd taken a wrong turn" image is very relatable even at 44. 😂 I think the getting-started bit is genuinely the hardest part. Does it get less weird, yes from everything I've heard. You're already two sessions in which is two more than most people manage. x

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Really sensible. I kept meaning to do this with iron but kept forgetting to actually note anything down. A week in and I had no idea if I felt better or just less tired because the kids were at their dad's 😂 Hope it helps your sleep. x

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Snap! I could have written this word for word, the binning trousers bit especially 😩 I asked specifically for iron levels at my appointment and I did feel like I had to justify it but I just said look I've been tracking this and here's what I've written down and she actually listened. Bring your notes. Don't apologise for them. You're not being difficult, you're being prepared. Also the egg dinners. Yes. Solidarity in the egg dinners. x

Jun 19 · Replied to Community post

I could have written this word for word. The cardigan round the waist thing... I did that in a meeting last year and genuinely considered faking a family emergency to go home. The calendar idea is brilliant though. I started noting down the heavy days separately, like "day 1 light, day 2 carnage, day 3 still carnage" and my GP actually said it was really useful to see the pattern rather than me just saying "yeah it's bad". Also noted how wiped out I felt the day after the worst days, because that fatigue impact is real and easy to brush off if you don't write it down. Good luck with your appointment x

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Welcome! The "feral periods" description is exactly right, that's what mine did too. I started writing down the heavy days and how wiped out I felt alongside them and it was genuinely eye-opening seeing it all on paper. Made my GP appointment feel a lot less like I was just moaning. x

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Snap on the tracking thing, I've been doing a version of this for my periods and it genuinely helps me feel less scattered. I can't speak to surgical menopause specifically but the 2am wake-up with heart racing sounds so exhausting. Really hope your follow-up goes well, you sound incredibly prepared already x

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Snap on the GP framing question. I had the same worry, that I'd sound like I was making a fuss. But when I described the actual impact, not just the symptom but what it was costing me day to day, the appointment went completely differently. You're not being dramatic. You're describing something real. Go in with your examples ready x

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Snap! I started doing almost exactly this before my last GP appointment. I rated fatigue out of ten each day and also noted whether I'd had to change plans because of it, like cancelled a run, left work early, that kind of thing. Concrete examples really do help. Also the lentil soup strategy is genuinely genius. I've been doing tinned chickpeas chucked into everything because my brain cannot cope with actual cooking on day two. x

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Oh love, the Alton Towers coach reference 😭 genuinely laughed and then immediately felt sad because same. I've been doing something similar with a little tracker, I added a column for energy levels out of ten on each day. Seeing it laid out made me realise the worst fatigue days were always one or two days after the heaviest bleeding. Felt useful to be able to show that rather than just describe it. Fingers crossed for your appointment x

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Snap! I started doing the exact same thing with a notes app a few months ago, pads, clots, how wrecked I felt the day after. Took it to my GP and she actually said it was really useful to have numbers rather than just 'heavy'. So keep going with that, it genuinely does make a difference in the room. And yes, ask for ferritin specifically, not just general iron. I'd read that somewhere and mentioned it by name and she added it on. Fingers crossed for your appointment x

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

I could have written this word for word, honestly. The 22 to 47 day range is exactly the kind of thing GPs can dismiss as "just one of those things" unless you shove actual dates under their nose. The calendar on your phone is such a good idea. I started doing the same before my last appointment and it genuinely changed the conversation. Also the lentil soup solidarity is real, I've been doing similar 😂 Hope your GP actually listens this time x

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

I could have written this word for word. Minus the protein bar, I had a cold cup of tea. The car is genuinely the only place no one follows me. My lot have started knocking on the window though so I may need a new plan 😂 x

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Welcome! The speed of it is what nobody tells you about isn't it. I spent ages wondering if it was stress or diet or something I could fix before I realised it was just hormones doing whatever they want now. This community is brilliant, glad you found it x

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

The caffeine link is worth flagging to her, I tracked something similar before my GP appointment and it gave us something concrete to discuss rather than just me saying 'I feel awful sometimes'. Also someone mentioned in a thread here recently about writing questions in order of priority so if time runs out you've at least covered the most important ones. Hope it goes well x

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Oh love, the meeting thing. I've been there, that horrible frozen moment where you're just doing the maths on whether you can make it to the door. Awful. The calendar is such a good idea though, I started doing almost exactly the same thing before my GP appointment and I genuinely think it changed how she listened to me. Not just 'tired' but 'couldn't get off the sofa on these specific dates' hits differently. Fingers crossed for next month x

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

Oh love, I could have written this word for word before my last GP appointment. I actually started writing stuff in my notes app in real time, like 'day 2, changed pad twice before 10am, couldn't get off the sofa after school run'. Sounds dramatic typed out but that's exactly what they need to hear. The fatigue log is genuinely useful, especially if you note what you couldn't do because of it. And for food, tinned lentil soup. Literally open tin, heat, done. Iron, protein, zero effort. You've got this x

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

Oh love, four nights in a row, I can completely understand crying about that. Sleep deprivation is its own particular kind of horrible. The notes app idea is something I've been half doing, but reading this makes me want to actually commit to it before my next appointment. Really glad you came back to update us. x

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Elizabeth. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

Oh love, the kind colleague face. I know that face. I got it from my own manager when I called a spreadsheet 'the numbers document' because the word 'spreadsheet' had just evaporated. I nearly cried in the meeting and then definitely cried in the car. You're not imagining it and you're not alone. x

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Janet, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.