Samantha

Okay so my ovaries are still technically there and my doctor keeps saying "perimenopause" but everything happened SO fast after my surgery in March that I genuinely don't know how to describe what's going on to anyone. Like the standard timeline stuff I read doesn't fit. Hot flashes started within two weeks of my procedure. Two weeks. The women in most spaces are talking about a slow creep over years and I'm sitting here like... that is not my story at all. I've been keeping notes on my phone because I couldn't hold it all in my head anymore. Not a fancy app, just a note. Date, what hit me, how bad, did I sleep. Turns out I've had maybe four full nights of sleep since April. Four. Writing it down made that visible in a way that genuinely shocked me. Food-wise my appetite has been all over the place during recovery. Some days I just don't want to eat but I noticed I feel worse on those days so I've been making myself do eggs or Greek yogurt or whatever protein I can stomach even when nothing sounds good. No idea if it's doing anything but it feels like the one thing I can actually control right now. I have a follow-up next month and I am building a list of questions because last time I left feeling like I hadn't said half of what I meant to say. Top of the list: does the speed of onset change anything about what I should expect? Because nobody has addressed that and it's the thing keeping me up at 3am. Well. That and the hot flashes obviously.

Okay so can I just say how disorienting it is to not fit ANY of the standard timelines. Like I had my ovaries out at 42 and everything hit me within a week. A WEEK. And then I'd read these articles about perimenopause being this gradual transition over years and I'd just sit there like... that is genuinely not my story at all and I don't know what to do with that. I've been keeping notes on my phone because my follow-up with the specialist is next month and I don't want to show up and forget half of what's been happening. Hot flashes at 2am that wake me up completely soaked, mood stuff that comes out of nowhere, appetite that is just... weird. Some days I'm not hungry until like 3pm and then I'm starving. I've been trying to get protein in earlier when that happens, like eggs or Greek yogurt, not because I read it somewhere life-changing, just because it seems to help me feel less unhinged by noon. The thing I want to ask my doctor and keep forgetting to write down: is what I'm experiencing now even comparable to what the research talks about? Because most studies seem to be on women who went through this gradually and I feel like I'm in a completely different category that nobody has a pamphlet for. Anyone else surgical who felt like the whole language around menopause just... didn't apply to them?

44 and had a full hysterectomy eight months ago and can I just say... nothing I read prepared me for this. All the menopause content out there is about the gradual thing, the years of irregular cycles, the slow creep. I went to sleep one person and woke up someone else. Hot flashes started in the hospital. In the actual hospital. I didn't even have time to google what was happening before it was already happening. I've been keeping notes on my phone because my follow-up is next month and I genuinely cannot hold it all in my head. Sleep is the big one right now. I'll fall asleep fine and then boom, 2am, soaked, wide awake, heart going. I started writing down the time it happens and roughly how bad and whether I'd eaten protein that day because someone in another group mentioned it and honestly I'll try anything at this point. No conclusions yet. Just data. The thing I keep bumping up against is that I don't fit the story. I'm not perimenopausal, I'm not 'going through the change' in the way people picture it. It was surgical. It was sudden. And when I try to explain that to people who mean well, their eyes kind of glaze over because the script they have doesn't match what I'm describing. Anyone else feel like they're living in a category that doesn't have a name yet? And if you've been through a surgical menopause follow-up, what did you actually ask your doctor? I have a list forming but I feel like I'm missing something obvious.

Okay so I had a full hysterectomy at 41 and nobody... I mean NOBODY prepared me for what that first week felt like. Hot flashes starting on day three post-surgery while I was still in the hospital gown. Three years later I am sitting in perimenopause groups and forums and everything assumes you drifted in gradually, noticed things shifting over time, had a slow build. I did not have a slow build. I had a Tuesday. I started keeping a symptom diary mostly because my follow-up appointments kept feeling like I was trying to describe a car crash to someone who had only ever seen fender benders. Writing things down gave me something to hand over. Sleep hours, how many times I woke up, whether I ate anything real that day. Which brings me to the eating thing. My appetite has been genuinely strange since surgery and I found that if I do not actively think about protein I just... don't. So I've been making myself have eggs or Greek yogurt in the morning even when food sounds terrible, and it does seem to help me feel less like I am operating on fumes by 2pm. My next specialist appointment is in six weeks and I am trying to figure out what to actually ask. Like how do I explain that my experience does not map onto the standard menopause timeline? That the usual "how long have you been having symptoms" question doesn't really apply when there was a hard stop date? Does anyone else navigate this? How do you frame it so they actually understand the suddenness of it?

44 and my ovaries are just... gone. Like, medically gone, not gradually winding down the way every article and podcast assumes. So when I try to use any of those "track your cycle to spot patterns" tools I just stare at them because there is no cycle. There is just: before surgery, and then this. The symptom diary I started is helping a little but I had to basically build my own format because everything out there is designed for someone whose body is doing a slow fade. Mine did a hard stop. I'm logging hot flashes, sleep quality, and what my mood actually felt like (not just "good" or "bad", like actually what flavor of bad) because I have a follow-up coming and I refuse to sit there and say "I don't know, it's been fine I guess." Food is weird right now. My appetite comes and goes and when it's gone it's really gone. I've been making myself eat something with protein even when nothing sounds good because I noticed I bottom out hard by afternoon if I don't. Eggs, Greek yogurt, whatever. Nothing exciting. My list for the appointment is getting long. Mostly questions about what "normal" even means for surgical menopause specifically, not the general menopause stuff, because I keep getting handed information that doesn't quite fit. Anyone else had to push for that distinction? Would really like to know I'm not the only one rebuilding the map from scratch.

Okay so I had my ovaries out at 41 and everyone keeps sending me articles about perimenopause like that's what I have. It is NOT what I have. I went from fine to absolutely on fire in about two weeks flat. No slow build, no "you might start noticing changes," just: surgery, recovery, then my body basically screaming at me 24/7. I've been keeping a little notes doc on my phone because my follow-up is next month and I genuinely don't trust myself to remember anything in the room. Hot flashes logged by time of day, sleep rated 1-5, mood just one word usually (today's was "feral"). I don't know if it's useful yet but it feels better than just white-knuckling through it with nothing to show for it. The eating thing is weird too. My appetite has been all over the place since surgery and I've been trying to get more protein in because I read it helps with muscle stuff post-op, but some days the idea of a chicken breast is genuinely offensive to me. Greek yogurt has been the move. Eggs if I can manage it. Small things. My actual question, if anyone here has been through surgical meno specifically: what did you ASK at your follow-up? Like what questions were actually worth bringing? I have a list but I feel like I'm missing something obvious and I won't know until I'm already in the car driving home.

Jun 20 · Liked post

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45 and I genuinely don't know where I belong online anymore. The period tracking apps feel like they're built for someone trying to get pregnant in their twenties. The menopause forums feel like they're for women who've already arrived somewhere I haven't. I'm just... in between? My cycles have gone a bit strange in the last year, not dramatically, just different to how they used to be. Shorter sometimes. Heavier once or twice. The odd month where I feel absolutely wired for two weeks then completely flat. I started writing it down because I kept thinking "was that normal last year?" and I genuinely couldn't remember. I'm not sure I'm perimenopausal. I'm not sure I'm not. My GP hasn't been unhelpful exactly, just sort of... noncommittal. I've got an appointment in a few weeks and I want to actually say something useful rather than just "I feel a bit off". So I've been keeping a note of when my cycle starts, how long, how heavy, anything that feels different. Nothing fancy. Just a note in my phone so I have something concrete to show her. Weekday dinners are a disaster at the moment by the way. Two kids, both at that age where they have opinions about everything. I've basically given up trying to cook properly Tuesday through Thursday and I'm just doing whatever keeps us all upright. Pasta. Eggs. That sort of thing. No shame. Anyone else feel like they're in a kind of no-woman's-land with all this? x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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51 and I want to write this down before I convince myself it was always fine. Eight weeks ago I was genuinely frightened. Not dramatically frightened, just that quiet dread where you lie there at 2am thinking is this just... life now? The flushes were relentless, I was crying at things I can't even remember, and I was so tired I was making mistakes at work that I kept having to quietly fix. This week I slept four nights in a row without waking drenched. Four. I keep checking my notes because I don't quite trust my memory of how bad it was anymore, which is funny in a slightly grim way. I've been keeping rough sleep and mood notes since I started HRT and I'm genuinely glad I did because looking back I can see there was about a five week point where things started to quietly shift. Not a moment. Just a gradual settling. The other thing, and I say this only as my own experience, is that I've been making sure I eat something with proper protein after my walks and the one strength session I do a week. Whether that's connected to anything I honestly don't know. Might be coincidence. But I've kept doing it because it's easy and it doesn't hurt. I have a follow-up appointment coming and I want to be honest that sleep still isn't perfect, the flushes haven't gone completely, and my mood can still drop quite suddenly on certain days. So it's not a neat ending. But it's not where I was. And I really needed someone to tell me at the start that it might not be where I was forever. So. Here I am saying it. x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Cardiology referral letter arrived today and I genuinely burst into tears. Relief I think, not dread, though honestly who can tell anymore. So I've been keeping a little notebook by my bed for the past three weeks. Every time my heart does its weird fluttery thing I write down the time, what I was doing, whether I'd had coffee that day, and roughly how I slept the night before. It started because I kept going blank at the GP and saying "oh it happens, you know, quite a lot" like an absolute idiot. Now I have actual times and dates. 2.17am on a Tuesday. 11.40pm after two cups of tea after 4pm. That kind of thing. The caffeine one is interesting. I haven't cut it out completely because I am not a saint, but I moved my last coffee to before noon and the late-night episodes do seem less frequent. Could be coincidence. I'm writing it down anyway. What I actually want to know before I see the cardiologist is what tests I should be asking about. I know there's an ECG, I've had one of those at the GP already. But I've seen people mention Holter monitors, the ones you wear for a few days? Is that something I can specifically request or does it depend on what they find? Also whether thyroid gets checked as a matter of course or whether I need to push for that. Not looking for anyone to diagnose me, I promise. Just want to walk in there having asked the right questions rather than nodding along and forgetting everything the minute I leave.

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Okay so I have my GP appointment on Thursday and I am absolutely terrified I am going to walk in there and forget everything and walk out with a leaflet about mindfulness again. That happened last time. I sat down, she looked a bit distracted, I said I was getting hot flushes and not sleeping, and she said have I tried keeping a sleep diary and that was it. I was in there four minutes. So this time I have written things down. Properly. How many flushes in a day (usually five or six, sometimes more), that I am waking up drenched twice a night at least, that I feel like my heart is racing when the flush hits. I have even noted that it is affecting my work because I can't concentrate on anything by about 2pm. I want to ask her about HRT properly this time, not just be fobbed off. But I genuinely don't know where to start with the different forms. There seem to be patches, gels, all sorts. I'm not expecting her to hand me a personalised plan on the spot but I just want to understand what the options even are, so I can have an actual conversation rather than nodding along and leaving none the wiser. Has anyone gone in with a list and actually had it help? Did asking specific questions make a difference or does it just depend entirely on which GP you get? x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Woke at 4.47 this morning instead of 3.10. I know that sounds bleak but honestly it felt like a victory. I'd cut the wine Wednesday and Thursday, had a proper breakfast both days, nothing dramatic. I'm not saying that's why. Could be anything. But I'm writing it down because I want to take something concrete to my GP and "I slept slightly better twice" is at least a data point. Trying to build a few more of those before the appointment. x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Turned up to my first strength class on Tuesday. I was the oldest one there by about fifteen years and I genuinely nearly walked back out. Stood there in my ancient leggings holding a 4kg dumbbell like it was a live grenade while a twenty-something with a bun demonstrated a Romanian deadlift. I did not know what a Romanian deadlift was. I still barely know. But I stayed. And I did it. And my legs ached for two days in a way that felt oddly satisfying rather than worrying, which is new. I'm 58, been postmeno for four years, on HRT long-term and planning to ask my GP at my next review about what the latest thinking is on continuing it. I've read some stuff but I want an actual conversation, not just a repeat prescription and a nod. The walking I've been doing for months, that bit feels fine. It's this weights thing that makes me feel like a total beginner in a way I haven't felt since I was a teenager. Which is uncomfortable. But I keep thinking about my mum at 75, struggling to get off the sofa, and I don't want that. So. Awkward or not, I'm going back next week. Anyone else come to this late and felt completely out of place at first? Does it stop feeling weird? x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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58 and I have become the woman who plans her whole day around whether her knees are going to cooperate. I don't talk about it much. My husband asks how I'm doing and I say fine. My daughter calls and I say fine. I come here and I say it: my joints are the loudest thing in my life right now and I have just been quietly managing around them for months. The walking plan is helping, genuinely. Thirty minutes most mornings, nothing heroic, just out the door before I can talk myself out of it. Some days it loosens everything up and I feel almost normal. Other days I'm limping back in thinking okay that was too much. I've been reading about calcium and vitamin D and I've been more intentional about food lately, more dairy, more sardines, which my husband thinks is hilarious. I'm not making any claims, it's just something I'm paying attention to. I've been on HRT for six years now and I have a checkup coming up and I want to actually ask the real questions this time. Not just "is this still okay" but like, what are we thinking about long term? What does staying on it look like at 60, 65? I keep chickening out of that conversation and I don't know why. Maybe because I'm scared of the answer. Maybe because I don't want anyone to take the one thing that's been keeping me functional. Anyone else navigating that appointment anxiety? The kind where you finally have the questions ready and then you walk in and somehow say nothing.

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Hello wise ladies. The 3pm crash. Every single day. I sit down after lunch and it's like someone pulls a plug. Eyes heavy, can't concentrate, reach for biscuits I don't even want. I've been trying to work out if it's what I'm eating at lunch or just... being 61 and postmeno and that's that. My lunches are honestly a bit rubbish. Usually whatever's quick, often just toast or a sandwich, sometimes nothing proper at all if work gets busy. Someone on here mentioned meal planning a little while back and I've been thinking about it. Not a whole week, that feels like a lot, but even just sorting three evening meals in advance so I'm not improvising every night and then having nothing useful for the next day's lunch either. That knock-on effect is real isn't it. I keep wondering whether I should mention the afternoon thing to my GP. It feels too vague to bring up. "I get tired at three" sounds feeble. But it's every day and it's affecting my work and I'm not sure it's just tiredness, it feels more like a blood sugar thing? I don't actually know. I'd like to know. If anyone has changed something and noticed the afternoon bit improve, I'd genuinely love to hear what it was. Doesn't have to be expensive or complicated, we're pretty much a meat and two veg household and budget matters. Just curious what shifted for people x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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39 and I've spent more time this month reading supplement labels than I have sleeping. Which is saying something given the sleeping situation. Every single account I follow has a different stack. One woman swears by ashwagandha, the next says it made her worse. Someone else is doing magnesium glycinate plus L-theanine plus lion's mane plus three other things I can't pronounce and honestly I don't know whether she feels better or she's just very good at content. I don't want content. I just want to know what an actual normal person with a job and a tight budget actually noticed. Not a transformation. Just... did it do anything or not. I've written out what I'm already taking (just vitamin D, been on it for years) and what I eat most days because I read somewhere that protein and fibre cover a lot of ground before you start spending money on capsules. I don't know if that's true but it at least felt like a sensible place to start without immediately spending £40 on something a stranger on Instagram told me to. I've got a GP appointment in six weeks and I want to bring a list of anything I'm considering so she can tell me if it clashes with anything. Is that a weird thing to do? Feels a bit anxious even typing it but I'd rather ask than just quietly take a handful of things and hope for the best x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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56 and postmenopausal and honestly I am so tired of feeling tired. Not looking for a whole new lifestyle, just... something that actually works for breakfast? Because I've been having toast or nothing for years and by half eleven I'm absolutely done for. Someone at work mentioned protein at breakfast and I sort of rolled my eyes but then I tried eggs a few days running and I did notice a difference? Still not sure if I was imagining it. I'm not suddenly eating perfectly, I'm just trying not to hit the wall before lunch. The energy crashes are the bit I actually want to talk to my GP about. I've been putting it off because last time I mentioned tiredness she looked at me like I'd said something unremarkable. But it's not normal tired, is it. It's floor tired. I want to go in with something more concrete than "I'm knackered" so I've started noting down roughly when the worst bits happen. Mostly afternoons. Mostly when I've eaten something rubbish in the morning. Anyway. Does anyone have breakfast ideas that aren't a massive faff? I don't want a recipe with seventeen ingredients. I just want to not be running on fumes by mid-morning. x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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41 and I don't even know how to start this post properly. I've been sitting here trying to work out if I'm perimenopausal or just... completely ground down by life. Two kids under ten, full-time job, husband who tries but doesn't get it, and I am so tired I cried in the Tesco car park last week because they'd run out of the pasta we needed. But here's the thing. The last few months my cycles have been all over the place. Used to be 28 days like clockwork. Now I'm getting 23, then 31, then 26. And the week before my period I am not myself. Like genuinely not myself. Snapping at everyone, lying awake at 3am with this low hum of dread I can't name, forgetting words mid-sentence at work. I mentioned it to my GP and she sort of nodded and said stress can do a lot of things. Which, fine, yes. But something feels different to just stress. I know what stressed feels like. I've been stressed for years. This is something else underneath it. I've started writing down when I drink coffee (cutting off at 1pm now and it's helping a tiny bit with the 3am stuff, or maybe I'm imagining it), and I've been noting down when the bad weeks happen relative to my cycle. Trying to build a picture before I go back and ask properly. For the GP I want to be able to say: here's what's changed since last year. Not just "I feel terrible" because that sounds like depression and gets routed a certain way. Actual specifics. Cycle lengths. Sleep. The brain fog that makes me re-read the same email four times. Does this sound familiar to anyone? I feel too young to be in menopause spaces and too old to be on an app that sends me "fertile window!" notifications like that's my main concern right now 😩

Jun 18 · Liked post

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41 and feeling like a complete fraud in here tbh. Every menopause space I find seems to be for women in their 50s and the period tracker apps keep asking me if I'm trying to conceive 🙄 like mate that is NOT the vibe right now. My cycles have been doing weird things for about eight months. Sometimes 24 days, sometimes 34. I used to be clockwork. And I'm exhausted in a way that sleep doesn't fix, which is fun. The anxiety has got worse too but I keep telling myself it's just work, just the kids, just life being A Lot. I've started writing things down because I couldn't remember what was happening from one month to the next. Not in any organised way, just notes on my phone. When I woke up at 3am, how much coffee I'd had, whether I'd actually eaten before noon. Turns out I almost never eat before noon which probably isn't helping anything. Going to try and actually have something before I leave the house in the mornings. Genuinely curious if it shifts the 11am crash. Also trying to figure out how to bring the cycle stuff up with my GP without her just nodding and saying stress. Any tips on how to make it sound like data rather than a complaint? x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Okay so can I just ask... did anyone else's cycle just start doing whatever it wants with zero warning? Like I've had a 28-day cycle basically my whole adult life and then this past year it's been 22 days, 35 days, 26 days, 19 days. NINETEEN. I'm 41. Nobody told me this could start happening at 41. I went down a rabbit hole at midnight (classic) and kept landing on perimenopause content and honestly my first reaction was denial because I thought that was a 50-something thing. But the more I read the more I was like... oh. Oh no. I've started keeping a little calendar on my phone. Just the cycle dates, plus whatever I'm feeling that week. Anxious for no reason. Exhausted even after a full night. Snapping at my kids over nothing and then feeling awful about it. I don't know what's connected to what yet but writing it down feels better than just white-knuckling through each month wondering why I feel like a different person. I have an appointment coming up and I'm genuinely nervous my doctor is going to look at my age and shrug. Like how do I even bring the cycle changes up without sounding like I've diagnosed myself off TikTok? I want to show her the pattern without her dismissing it as stress. (It might also be stress. I have a lot of stress. But it's not ONLY stress, I don't think.) Anyway. Hi. First post. Glad this place exists.

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Okay totally off topic but I need help. I have two teenagers, it's been a week, and I have approximately zero bandwidth left for dinner decisions. What are you all actually making on the nights when you're running on fumes and one wrong comment from a family member away from losing it completely? Bonus points if it involves minimal dishes. Double bonus if nobody complains. (I know. I know that's not possible. But a woman can dream.) Seriously though. Hit me. 🙏

Jun 17 · Liked post

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can I just say the supplement aisle in Boots is genuinely one of the most stressful places I've been recently and I work in a primary school so that's saying something 😂 everything has a claim on it. everything is "clinically shown" or "formulated for women over 40" or whatever. and then I open Instagram and it's ten different influencers telling me I need ten different things urgently or my bones will crumble and my brain will fall out I'm 39, I'm knackered, I can't afford to just chuck £30 at every bottle that looks convincing. I've been trying to keep a rough note of what I'm spending and honestly it adds up embarrassingly fast even when I've bought nothing what I actually want is just... someone saying "I tried this one thing, here's what happened, here's what didn't." not a brand deal. not a protocol. just a normal story from a normal woman I've been trying to sort protein and fibre out through actual food first before I go near any of it, because that at least costs roughly the same as what I'm already buying. eggs, lentils, that kind of thing. nothing dramatic if I do end up seeing my GP about any of this I want to go in with a proper list of whatever I've been taking so I'm not just going "erm, something from Holland and Barrett?" but right now the list is mostly wishful thinking and a half-eaten bag of mixed seeds anyway. solidarity to everyone else staring blankly at the same shelves x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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50 and finally got an appointment after months of being told it's 'probably stress'. so I've been writing everything down this past fortnight. flushes during the day, flushes at night, the ones that wake me up at 2am soaked through. trying to get a proper count before I go in so I can actually say a number instead of just 'loads'. the thing I'm curious about though, completely without wanting to be steered either way, is the patch vs gel thing. I've read bits and pieces and honestly I just want to know what other women's day-to-day experience was like. like, did the patch stay on in the bath? did the gel feel weird in summer? I'm not asking anyone to tell me what to do, I just find the practical reality stuff really hard to find anywhere. also unrelated but I've been eating a lot of cold salads and chilled soups lately because standing over a hot hob in the evening is genuinely unbearable right now. my husband thinks I've gone off cooking. I haven't, I'm just trying not to combust before 7pm 😅 anyway. appointment is next Thursday. wish me luck.

Jun 15 · Liked post

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Can I just ask how other people are actually keeping track of all this? Because my periods have gone absolutely rogue in the last year and I genuinely cannot predict them anymore. Used to be like clockwork. Now I might get something that's barely there, then the next one has me changing every hour and cancelling things. I've started keeping a rough calendar on my phone, just noting when it starts, how heavy, how many days. Feels a bit obsessive but I don't know what else to do before I go to the GP, I want to be able to actually describe what's been happening rather than just saying "it's got worse" and getting sent away with leaflets. Also trying to eat more iron-rich stuff on the bad days because I am completely wiped out afterwards. Lentil soup, spinach, that kind of thing. Nothing fancy, I haven't got the energy for fancy. Is 48 too young to be dealing with this? Everyone I mention it to says oh it's just your age like that's supposed to help. I'm so tired of it being treated like a minor inconvenience. x

Jun 14 · Liked post

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Okay so I keep trying to explain this to people and nobody gets it. My surgery was August 14th. Hot flashes started August 15th. Like, I went to sleep one person and woke up someone else entirely. There was no perimenopause, no gradual anything, no time to adjust. Just. Gone. And every article I read, every podcast, all of it talks about "the transition" like it's this slow drift. I didn't drift anywhere. I got dropped. I have a follow-up with my specialist next week and I've been writing out a timeline, basically a document with dates, because I realized I kept saying "it started a few weeks after" when actually I can tell her exactly when. August 15th. I have it in my phone. I think having the actual dates matters more than I thought it would. Also someone here mentioned eating enough protein when appetite is off and I have been doing soft scrambled eggs and Greek yogurt because I genuinely cannot face much else right now and weirdly that has felt manageable. Anyone else feel like surgical menopause is almost a different category that just gets lumped in with everything else?

Jun 14 · Liked post

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Okay I need to put this somewhere. I had a bilateral oophorectomy fourteen months ago and I am so tired of reading menopause content that talks about gradual changes and "noticing the shift" over years. My shift happened in about three weeks. Hot flashes every hour, sleep completely gone, mood that I didn't recognize as mine. I'm not angry at anyone here. I'm just frustrated that I keep having to translate my experience into language that fits a timeline that isn't mine. Even at my last OBGYN appointment I felt like I was explaining myself from scratch. I've started keeping a running notes document before each specialist visit so I'm not fumbling for words in the room. That part has actually helped a little. Just needed to say it out loud to people who might get it. ETA: I know some of you have been through similar. I'm glad this room exists.

Jun 14 · Liked post

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Right, bit of a rant but also a genuine question because I'm going round in circles. I've got my husband, my son (21, home from uni), and my mum round most evenings and feeding all of them while also trying to eat enough protein feels like a full time job. They want pasta, pie, something cheap and filling. I want to not feel like a deflated balloon by 8pm. I've been trying to plan three nights ahead rather than staring at the fridge at half five in a panic. Chicken thighs have become my best friend because they're cheap and you can do something different with them every time. Last week: tray bake Monday, slow cooker Tuesday, wraps with leftovers Wednesday. Everyone ate it, nobody moaned, I felt vaguely smug. The thing I'm trying to figure out before my next GP appointment is the weight bit. I've put on about half a stone over two years without changing much and I want to be able to explain that clearly rather than just saying "I don't know, it just crept on". So I've been writing it down. When it started, what I was eating roughly, whether sleep changed around the same time. Feels like building a case, which is a bit grim but there we are. Anyway. If anyone has budget dinner ideas that actually have some protein in them and don't taste like diet food I would genuinely love to hear them x

Jun 22 · Replied to Community post

The anxiety that doesn't have a story attached. I'm saving that phrase. I've been trying to explain exactly this to people since my symptoms started and I never had the right words for it. Hope your appointment goes well and that you get to say all the things you've written down. x

Jun 19 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm US so the GP thing is different for me but the blanking out in the appointment?? SO real. I started texting myself notes at 3am and just reading from my phone in the room. Messy but it worked. Rooting for you Thursday.

Jun 19 · Replied to Community post

Welcome! Cautiously better is still better and honestly that's huge after a rough stretch. Glad you're here even just to read along.

Jun 19 · Replied to Community post

Thank you Clare, and everyone who replied. This is exactly why I posted. Reading these has made me feel much less ridiculous, and I am adding a few notes before my next appointment.

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Holly. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Turkey meatballs from the freezer section, jarred marinara, pasta. Three things. Done in 20 minutes. I keep both stocked at all times now because there are nights where I genuinely cannot make a decision and this requires zero thought.

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Okay so rotisserie chicken from the store is my non-negotiable backup. Grab it on the way home, add some bagged salad and rolls, done. Zero dishes basically. My kids still find something to complain about but at least I didn't cook it so I don't take it personally 😂

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Okay the light switch thing. YES. I didn't have a hysterectomy but I had a procedure that tanked my hormones fast and everything written assumed I had years of warning. I felt like I was reading someone else's story. The discharge paperwork thing made me actually wince reading that. The written timeline idea is so smart. I started doing something similar before my last OBGYN appointment and it genuinely changed how the conversation went. Harder to dismiss a page of dates. And the appetite thing, ugh. I went through a phase where protein shakes were basically carrying me. Not glamorous but they got something in. Broth and eggs sounds honestly perfect, don't knock it.

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

Just popping back to say thank you, especially Alison. I read all of these with a cup of tea and had a little cry, in a good way. This community is such a relief sometimes.

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

THIS. I had a similar thing and every time I tried to explain it to my OBGYN she kept referencing the standard timeline like I'd had a gradual lead-up. I hadn't. I keep saying surgical menopause is its own category and people just nod and move on. The dates thing is so smart. I started doing the same, exact dates in my phone notes, because "a few weeks after" was making everything feel vague and dismissible. Solidarity from Chicago 🤞

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

The 3am alert thing with the heart racing is so recognisable. I had a different route into all this but that specific feeling, bolt upright, completely awake, heart going, lying there for hours, that was one of my earliest signs too. Your instinct to document it is good. Walk in with the timeline and don't let them send you away with nothing again.

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

THIS. The "gradual shift" narrative is everywhere and it just doesn't apply to us. Mine was surgical too and I remember thinking something had gone wrong because nobody warned me it would be that fast and that total. The notes doc before appointments is such a good idea. I started doing the same thing after one too many visits where I walked out feeling like I'd forgotten half of what I needed to say. You're not alone in this. ETA: really glad you posted.

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

THIS. The part about bringing notes to the appointment and suddenly being taken seriously, yes. I started doing that too and it made such a difference. Glad things are shifting a little for you. Solidarity.

Jun 13 · Replied to Community post

The list idea is solid. I did the same before a specialist follow-up and it changed the whole conversation. She could actually see the full picture instead of me trying to remember things on the spot. The protein piece is something I kept underestimating too. ETA: the before/after lighting observation is so accurate it hurts.

Jun 12 · Replied to Community post

Not UK so slightly different setup here but this hit me. I had a scan after my surgery and the results were the same kind of jolt, like oh, this is real and it's now. The going outside every day thing, even just walks, I noticed the same, it does something for your head first and maybe everything else second. Hope your OBGYN, or I guess GP, gives you the real conversation you're asking for.

Jun 12 · Replied to Community post

Oh my gosh YES. I didn't have surgery but I had a procedure that tanked my hormones fast and the "dropped off a cliff" description is so exact I actually said it out loud. No runway. No warning. Just suddenly a completely different body. The notes on your phone are such a good idea, I do the same thing before appointments because I always blank too. Also the food thing, protein has been weirdly important for me on the days my appetite disappears. You are not alone in needing different language for this.

Jun 12 · Replied to Community post

Okay this is me too, notes app and everything. I started tracking after my surgery because nothing felt predictable anymore. The food thing is real, I notice it on the days I actually eat a proper lunch vs just grabbing whatever. Solidarity from across the pond. Hope the thing tells you something useful.

Jun 11 · Replied to Community post

Okay this post. THIS. The part about being IN your body vs stranded in it, that's exactly it, I've never heard it described that right before. And going on a date while navigating all of this? You showed up for yourself first and that's everything. Also yes please do talk to your doctor about the dryness thing, it's so much more common than anyone tells us and there are options. Solidarity from over here.

Jun 11 · Replied to Community post

Solidarity. I'm in the US and surgical meno so a bit different situation but the 'leaving the appointment feeling like I didn't explain myself' thing is so universal it hurts. Writing it down beforehand genuinely changes the dynamic. You've already got the notes, you're more prepared than you think.

Jun 10 · Replied to Community post

Oh this. The suddenness is so real and nobody prepares you for it. I'm peri so I can't fully compare but I have friends who've been through surgical and they all say the same thing, the standard literature just doesn't fit. Your question list sounds really smart. Writing mine down before appointments is the only reason I leave with actual answers now. Also the eggs thing? Protein when everything feels sideways is underrated.