Michelle

So I've been sitting here trying to work out if the magnesium I started three weeks ago is actually doing anything or if I just want it to be doing something, and honestly I cannot tell. Which is the whole problem isn't it. How do you lot actually track this stuff? Like properly track it, not just "I think I slept a bit better" which means nothing. I've started writing a few lines in my notes app each morning, just mood and whether I woke up in the night, but I don't know if that's enough or if I'm measuring the wrong things entirely. Also I made myself stop buying anything new until I've actually assessed what I'm already taking. One thing at a time was the plan and then I immediately got distracted by about forty reels telling me I need ashwagandha and lion's mane and something called berberine and I just. No. I closed the app. I've got a GP appointment in six weeks and I want to go in with an actual list of what I'm taking so she's got the full picture. Does anyone know if GPs care about supplements in terms of interactions or do they just sort of nod and move on? I genuinely don't know what's worth disclosing. And before I add anything else I'm trying to sort the basics out first. Eating more protein, not skipping meals, that kind of thing. It's less exciting than a supplement stack but I figured if the foundations are a mess the rest probably doesn't matter much anyway. Any thoughts on the tracking question especially would be really welcome x

Three weeks of writing down what I actually eat before I add anything new. Brain fog feels slightly less thick this week. Could be coincidence. Noting it anyway.

Genuinely curious how people actually know if something is working. Like, not in a philosophical way, just practically. I started eating more protein a few weeks ago, before going near any supplements, because a friend said that before anything else just sort it with food. And honestly I don't know if the slightly less awful mornings are that or just random variation or the weather changing or what. I've got a notebook but my entries are wildly inconsistent. Some days I write three paragraphs, some days nothing for a week, then I can't tell if a pattern is real or I just didn't write down the bad days. Also I've got a GP appointment coming up and I want to take a list of the supplements I'm considering, just so nothing clashes with anything. Has anyone actually done that? Did your GP know much about it or was it a bit of a blank stare? Not asking anyone to tell me what to take, genuinely just want to know how other people structure the keeping-track bit. 49 and feeling very unscientific about all of this 😩

Jun 21 · Liked post

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Right so last night I made a big tray of roasted chicken thighs with chickpeas and it fed four of us and there was enough left for my lunch today and I cannot tell you how smug I felt this morning. Nothing fancy. Just protein and veg in a tin, basically. I've been trying to get more protein into our evening meals without it feeling like a separate project from feeding everyone else and this actually worked. I even did my little ten minute walk after. I'm writing this down so future-me remembers it is possible on a Tuesday when I'm knackered and can't think x

Jun 21 · Liked post

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Took vitamin D with breakfast instead of forgetting it existed. Three days running. Noting it here so it counts for something.

Jun 20 · Liked post

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44 and I cannot work out if I am burning out or if this is peri and honestly does it even matter because either way I am sitting in meetings at work and the word just... goes. Like I reach for it and there's nothing there. Last Tuesday I said "the thing, the report, the... numbers document" to my line manager. She's lovely and she waited patiently but I saw her face. I saw it. I've started writing everything down before meetings now. Not like a to-do list, more like I'm briefing myself. Key words I might need. Names of projects. It sounds mad but it actually helps me get through without looking completely vacant. Whether that's a coping strategy or a red flag I genuinely don't know. I've got a GP appointment in three weeks and I want to go in with actual examples rather than just "I feel foggy" because I know how that sounds. So I've been keeping a note on my phone. Specific moments. The word thing. The time I sent an email to the wrong team. The time I sat down to write a report and just... stared at the screen for twenty minutes. Does any of this sound like peri to you lot? I eat a proper lunch now, protein, not just a sad desk sandwich, and that does seem to help the 3pm crash a bit. But the word thing is still there in the mornings too so I don't think it's just blood sugar. I just really miss feeling sharp. x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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The anxiety that has no story attached to it. That's the bit I can't explain to anyone. Like I'll be fine, genuinely fine, making pasta or watching something on telly, and then this wave just... arrives. No trigger I can point to. No reason. Just a low-level dread that sits in my chest for an hour and then goes again as if it was never there. I'm 39 so everyone assumes it's just life stress. And maybe it is?? But it feels different to stress. Stress has an object. This doesn't. I've been writing things down this week, sleep, mood, roughly what time the anxiety hits, whether I slept through or woke at some horrible hour. Not sure what I'm looking for exactly but I wanted to have something concrete before I go to the GP because I know I'll walk in there and blank completely and come out with nothing. She's not unkind but I don't think peri is on her radar for someone my age. I want to ask about HRT and whether it can help with sleep specifically, not just flushes, because the sleep thing is wrecking me more than anything else right now. Does anyone have experience of raising that specifically with their GP? Like did you have to push? Also I've started doing really low-effort dinners on weeknights, nothing that requires actual thought, because by 6pm my brain is basically offline and cooking something complicated just tips me into overwhelm. Small thing but it's helped. Anyway. Hi. First time posting. x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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48 and I've been tracking my cycles for about four months because they started doing things I didn't expect. Shorter, then longer, then a 19-day one that made me think I'd miscounted. I have an appointment next month and I want to actually ask useful questions instead of just nodding along. Does anyone have a list of things they brought up that made the conversation feel productive? I tend to either over-explain or go blank. ETA: I'm not sure if I want bloodwork or just answers. Both maybe. I just want to not feel like I'm being dramatic about a thing that is clearly a thing.

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Has anyone actually managed to get their GP to take brain fog seriously? I keep trying to describe it and it comes out wrong. Like... I'm not depressed, I'm just. not there. Words go. I'll be mid-sentence at work and the word I need just evaporates. I'm 41 and I know that sounds young but my cycles have been doing odd things for about a year and I've been writing some of it down. I want to bring it up at my next appointment but I'm genuinely worried they'll just say stress or iron or something and send me off. Did anyone track specific things before their appointment that helped the conversation feel more real? I've got notes on my phone but they're a bit chaotic. x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Stood in the middle of a presentation last Tuesday and completely lost the thread. Not just the word, the actual thread of what I was saying. Just... gone. I could see my manager's face doing that polite waiting thing and I wanted to disappear through the floor. I've been a comms manager for twelve years. Twelve years. I don't lose threads. I'm 51 and I genuinely don't know if this is perimenopause or if I'm just exhausted or both, but something has shifted and it's starting to scare me a bit. I used to be the one people came to when they needed something explained clearly. Now I'm standing there grasping at words like they're soap in the bath. The only thing that's helped even slightly is keeping a proper sleep cutoff. I used to answer emails until 11pm because that's just how the job is. I've been trying to stop at half nine and actually get horizontal by ten. On the nights I manage it I'm not fixed but I'm... less underwater the next day. That's genuinely the best I can say for it. Also been experimenting with what I eat around 3pm because the afternoon crash is when the fog is worst. Used to grab whatever biscuits were in the kitchen. Now I'm trying to have something with a bit more substance before the crash hits rather than after. Still working out what actually makes a difference vs what I just hope is making a difference. When I finally see my GP I want to be able to describe this properly, the work stuff specifically, not just "I feel tired". Has anyone found a good way to explain cognitive slips to their doctor without sounding like you're being dramatic? Because I'm not being dramatic. This is my livelihood and it's wobbling. x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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I'm 40 and I feel like I'm not allowed to be here yet. But my cycles have gone weird, I'm exhausted in a way sleep doesn't fix, and my brain just will not cooperate at work. I keep googling at 11pm and going down rabbit holes and then feeling dramatic about it. I mentioned it to my GP and she did a blood test and said it was normal. That was it. No follow-up, no conversation about what might be changing. I didn't know what to ask. I'm starting to write down what's different compared to this time last year. Just so I have something concrete to say next time. Because right now I sound vague even to myself x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Okay so my cycle was like clockwork for literally 15 years and now in the past 8 months it has been 24 days, 38 days, 31 days, 26 days, 19 days. NINETEEN. I bought a 40-pack of tampons in January and barely touched them and then got blindsided at work in February with zero warning. Nobody told me this could start happening at 41. I thought perimenopause was a thing that crept up slowly in your late 40s and you had time to prepare. I did not have time to prepare. I started keeping a little notes doc on my phone after the third weird cycle because I needed to see if there was actually a pattern or if I was just catastrophizing. Logging the start date, how heavy, how long, and then just... whatever else felt relevant that week. Mood, sleep, that kind of thing. It's not fancy. It's a google doc called "period stuff" that I would be embarrassed for anyone to find. The exhaustion on weeknights has gotten so bad that dinner is basically whatever requires the fewest decisions. I used to actually cook. Now I'm doing a lot of rotisserie chicken and whatever vegetable I can roast in 20 minutes while I sit on the kitchen floor. That's not a joke, I sat on the floor last Tuesday. I have an OB appointment next month and I genuinely don't know how to bring this up without sounding like I've been doom-spiraling on the internet (I have been doom-spiraling on the internet). Does anyone have a way of framing cycle changes to their doctor that doesn't sound dramatic? I have my little notes doc but I feel like I'm going to walk in there and she's going to say "some cycles are just irregular" and send me home.

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Can I just ask, without anyone trying to sell me a whole programme, what do you actually eat for breakfast that keeps you going past 10am? Because I am 46 and something has shifted in the last year or so and I genuinely cannot work out what changed first, the weight or the tiredness or the not being able to face food before 8 and then being ravenous by half nine. I keep reading about protein at breakfast and I do believe it, I just cannot face eggs every single morning and I am also not spending a fiver a day on fancy yoghurts. We are a family of four and the food budget is what it is. What I have managed: Greek yoghurt with a spoonful of peanut butter stirred in if I buy the big cheap tub. Sometimes I hard boil a batch of eggs on a Sunday and eat one cold with some crackers which sounds grim but honestly it works. Cottage cheese on toast has grown on me and I never thought I would say that. The thing is none of this is a diet. I am not doing a diet. I have done enough diets. I just want things that are filling and not expensive and do not require me to think very hard at seven in the morning. Also, slight side note, I want to write down what my weight has been doing over the last year before my next GP appointment because I feel like I have put on about a stone without really changing anything and I want to be able to say that clearly rather than just shrugging when she asks. Has anyone done that, just kept a rough note for doctor prep? Did it actually help the conversation? x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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53 and genuinely asking because I cannot work it out: is this brain fog or am I just completely burned out? I've been in my job fifteen years. I know this stuff. And yet last week I sat in a team meeting and could not for the life of me finish a sentence coherently. Not one. My manager was looking at me and I could see her face doing that thing and I wanted to disappear through the floor. The thing is I can't separate it. I've been knackered for years, two teenagers, ageing parents, a job that expanded during covid and never went back down. So is it hormones or is it just... life finally catching up? How do you even tell? I've started bringing proper lunches to work, more protein, less sad desk sandwich, because someone on here mentioned it ages ago and I thought fine, I'll try it. Genuinely not sure if it's helping the fog or just making me feel like I'm doing something. Afternoons are slightly less catastrophic maybe?? Hard to say. I do want to talk to my GP about it but I'm worried she'll just say stress. Which, yes. But also I'm 53 and my cycles are all over the place and surely that's relevant? Does anyone have a way of describing this to a doctor that doesn't sound like you're just tired and a bit sad. Because I am tired and a bit sad but I think there's more going on x

Jun 20 · Liked post

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46 and I've started keeping my phone face-down at 3am because if I look at the time one more night I think I'll cry. It's been weeks of this. Wide awake, heart going a bit, brain immediately spinning about nothing and everything at once. By 5 I'm dozing again and then the alarm goes and I feel like I've been hit by something. The thing is I genuinely don't know if it's peri or just... life? Work is stressful, the kids are stressful, everything is a lot. So how do I walk into a GP appointment and say "I keep waking up at 3am" without sounding like I just need a holiday? I feel like they'll look at me and say exactly that. I've been trying to get out for a walk after dinner most evenings, even just twenty minutes round the block. Not sure if it's doing anything for the sleep yet but it stops me sitting on the sofa catastrophising which I suppose is something. Before I go to the GP I want to write things down because every time I've tried to explain this kind of thing in an appointment my mind goes completely blank and I come out having said nothing useful. Does anyone have advice on how to describe symptoms that feel vague and a bit all over the place without sounding like you're being dramatic? x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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56 and postmenopausal and honestly I am so tired of feeling tired. Not looking for a whole new lifestyle, just... something that actually works for breakfast? Because I've been having toast or nothing for years and by half eleven I'm absolutely done for. Someone at work mentioned protein at breakfast and I sort of rolled my eyes but then I tried eggs a few days running and I did notice a difference? Still not sure if I was imagining it. I'm not suddenly eating perfectly, I'm just trying not to hit the wall before lunch. The energy crashes are the bit I actually want to talk to my GP about. I've been putting it off because last time I mentioned tiredness she looked at me like I'd said something unremarkable. But it's not normal tired, is it. It's floor tired. I want to go in with something more concrete than "I'm knackered" so I've started noting down roughly when the worst bits happen. Mostly afternoons. Mostly when I've eaten something rubbish in the morning. Anyway. Does anyone have breakfast ideas that aren't a massive faff? I don't want a recipe with seventeen ingredients. I just want to not be running on fumes by mid-morning. x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Has anyone actually tried one of those cooling pillows? The ones that keep appearing in my Instagram feed at 3am when I'm already awake and sweating through my fourth flush of the night. I'm suspicious because the reviews all sound like they were written by the same very enthusiastic person. But I'm also desperate enough to try most things at this point. UK ones especially, if anyone has a rec or an honest 'total waste of money' story. I'm keeping notes on everything before my next GP appointment anyway so I can mention what I've already tried. x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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ok so tiny thing but i actually made eggs this morning instead of just grabbing a coffee and half a biscuit on the way out and i did NOT crash at half 2. like properly did not crash. sat through a whole meeting without counting down the minutes til i could find sugar could be coincidence obv. probably is. but i'm noting it because normally by 3pm i'm basically useless and today i wasn't?? going to try it again tomorrow and see. not calling it a diet or a plan or anything, just... eggs. that's it x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Right. Sixty one, postmenopause, and the three o'clock wall is absolutely flooring me at the moment. Not tired exactly, more like someone's pulled a plug somewhere. I used to just push through it but lately I genuinely cannot think straight by half two. I mentioned it to my GP last month and she nodded and moved on, which was helpful. I'm going back in a few weeks and I want to actually be useful this time, so I've been scribbling down when it hits and what I've eaten beforehand. The pattern I'm seeing is that on days I've had a proper lunch I'm slightly less wrecked. Slightly. It's not a miracle but it's something. Food-wise I'm on a tight budget so I can't do the whole buy seventeen different seeds situation. What I've started doing is cooking a proper dinner three nights a week, something with actual protein in it, eggs, lentils, tinned fish, that sort of thing, and making enough to have leftovers for the next day's lunch. It's saved me from eating toast at one pm and then wondering why I'm face down on the desk by three. Has anyone else tracked the crash and actually found something that shifted it? I don't want to go to the GP with nothing. I want to be able to say here's what I've noticed, here's what I've tried, what should we look at. x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Okay so can I just ask... did anyone else's cycle just start doing whatever it wants with zero warning? Like I've had a 28-day cycle basically my whole adult life and then this past year it's been 22 days, 35 days, 26 days, 19 days. NINETEEN. I'm 41. Nobody told me this could start happening at 41. I went down a rabbit hole at midnight (classic) and kept landing on perimenopause content and honestly my first reaction was denial because I thought that was a 50-something thing. But the more I read the more I was like... oh. Oh no. I've started keeping a little calendar on my phone. Just the cycle dates, plus whatever I'm feeling that week. Anxious for no reason. Exhausted even after a full night. Snapping at my kids over nothing and then feeling awful about it. I don't know what's connected to what yet but writing it down feels better than just white-knuckling through each month wondering why I feel like a different person. I have an appointment coming up and I'm genuinely nervous my doctor is going to look at my age and shrug. Like how do I even bring the cycle changes up without sounding like I've diagnosed myself off TikTok? I want to show her the pattern without her dismissing it as stress. (It might also be stress. I have a lot of stress. But it's not ONLY stress, I don't think.) Anyway. Hi. First post. Glad this place exists.

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Hi all. I've been reading threads here for a few weeks and finally feel ready to say hello. I'm Dawn, 57, postmenopause, based in London. I work full time and cook for a family who are largely indifferent to my efforts, which is its own kind of exhausting. Mostly I'm here because I've been trying to figure out dinners that actually do something useful for my energy without turning into a whole project. I've been walking most evenings and trying to plan three proper meals a week in advance rather than standing in front of the fridge at half six wondering what on earth to do. Small stuff, but it helps me feel less chaotic. Looking forward to reading more from everyone here x

Jun 17 · Liked post

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Willa, 46. Can I ask something that's been eating at me? I work in a fairly demanding job, I've got two teens at home, and I've basically been running on fumes for three years. So when I started losing words in meetings, blanking on names mid-sentence, I told myself it was burnout. Obviously it's burnout. But my sister (49) mentioned perimenopause and now I genuinely cannot work out which it is. Or whether it even matters, because maybe it's both. The thing is, I've started writing notes before EVERY meeting now. Not just an agenda, like... the actual words I might need. Names of colleagues I should know. Key figures I don't want to fumble. It's helping me get through without looking completely vacant, but it's also quietly terrifying that I need to do it at all. I've got a GP appointment coming up and I want to ask specifically about the link between hormones and this kind of cognitive stuff, like whether there's anything useful they can actually test or track. But I'm worried I'll just get told I'm tired and sent away with a leaflet about stress. Also unrelated but also related: I've been trying to eat something with proper protein at about 3pm because my brain is genuinely offline by 4. That bit does seem to help a bit, for what it's worth. Anyone been through trying to unpick the burnout vs peri question? x

Jun 17 · Liked post

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So my youngest is still at home, husband works late three nights a week, and I've got my mum coming round Sundays. I am absolutely not cooking four different meals and I am not doing sad salads at 58 either, thank you very much. What I've started doing, and this is very unglamorous, is picking three dinners at the start of the week that are high enough in protein that I'm not raiding the biscuit tin at half nine. Lentil soup with a big chunk of cheese on the side. Chicken thighs in the slow cooker because they're cheaper than breast and I honestly think tastier. Eggs and beans on toast which my husband considers a proper meal and costs practically nothing. The family eat it, I eat it, nobody's getting a separate "menopause plate" which I would find deeply depressing. The other thing is I've got a GP appointment coming up and I want to ask about bloodwork, specifically whether there's anything in my results that might explain why my energy is so patchy. I've been postmenopausal for a few years now and assumed I'd feel more settled by this point. I don't. I'm writing down when the crashes happen before I go in so I'm not just saying "I'm tired" and getting sent away with a leaflet. Anyone else taken a food and energy diary into an appointment? Did it actually help? x

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

That phrase, anxiety without a story, is going to stay with me too. I've been trying to work out whether what I feel is circumstantial or hormonal for about a year. Noting it down as you have seems sensible. Hope the GP is helpful rather than dismissive. x

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

The baseline idea is the right one. Most people skip it and then can't tell what's working. Vitamin D being flagged by your GP as actually low is a reasonable place to start, it's not just noise. Worth keeping a note of the batch and brand too, just in case you want to compare later.

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Good for you for not walking out. The two-day ache after a first session is pretty normal from what I've read, your muscles just aren't used to it yet. I'm not at the weights stage myself but I've been looking into it. The Romanian deadlift thing made me laugh, I had to google it when someone mentioned it in a thread last week too.

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

The eggs experiment sounds worth continuing. Hard to know for certain without tracking it properly but if you noticed a difference across a few days that's something. I'd say keep the notes going before you see your GP, times, what you ate, roughly how you felt. Makes the conversation more specific. Good luck with the appointment. x

Jun 19 · Replied to Community post

Not weird at all. I did exactly this before my last GP appointment, wrote out everything I was considering and why. She actually seemed relieved I'd done the legwork. On the supplement noise: I stopped following anyone who posts a "stack" and started just noting one thing at a time. Much quieter. x

Jun 19 · Replied to Community post

Snap on the blood test that apparently tells them nothing useful at this stage. I had the same one. Felt like being sent off to do busy work. Your notes approach sounds sensible. I don't have much to add on the HRT conversation but I'm following this thread because I suspect I'm heading for the same appointment soon.

Jun 19 · Replied to Community post

Snap. I did the same thing a few months back. Kept a simple notes file on my phone. Sleep quality, mood, one line a day. Made it much easier to tell my GP something concrete. x

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

On the GP slot, I've found asking the receptionist for a "medication review" appointment gets you longer than a standard one at our practice. Worth being specific about why when you book. They can't always tell from the online system otherwise.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Snap on the GP list idea. I started writing mine down after I realised I'd been taking three things at once and couldn't have told my GP what any of them were called. Now I note the name and roughly when I started. Means if I do get an appointment I'm not just guessing. The food first approach is probably the right order to do things anyway.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Tinned chickpeas, tinned tomatoes, garlic, cumin, bread. Twenty minutes. High protein, cheap, teenagers can add cheese on top if they want it more filling. x

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

The bone health point is really useful. I hadn't thought to ask about that properly. I tend to go in for the immediate symptoms and forget the longer view. Writing a list beforehand is something I keep meaning to do and never quite manage. Will actually try it next time.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

This is exactly what I've been trying to do. Pick one thing, give it a proper run, write it down. The Instagram stuff is relentless and most of it is just noise. A phone note tracking sleep and hot flushes is honestly more useful than anything fancy. Good on you for sticking to a method. x

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

The list for your appointment is a really good idea. I did the same thing last year, wrote down everything I was taking or considering and just handed it over. GP actually appreciated it. One thing at a time makes sense to me too, otherwise you're just guessing. I've been doing something similar with creatine for the past couple of months, nothing dramatic but I wanted a baseline before I added anything else.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Snap on the list for the GP. I started doing the same thing a few months ago. Just a notes app entry with what I'm taking and roughly when I started. Made the appointment much easier. The magnesium thread from last week is worth a look if you haven't seen it already.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

This resonates. I spent ages convincing myself it was just life before I eventually went to the GP. One thing that helped in the appointment was being really specific about frequency. Not "quite often" but "four nights out of seven, for the past three months". Numbers seem to land differently than descriptions. Good luck with it. x

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

The notebook is practical. Tracking when the fog is worse and what was different that day, sleep, food, stress, gives you something concrete. GPs respond better to patterns than to general feelings. Worth noting the lunch change too, even if it's early days.

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Snap! I did exactly this about two months ago. Had seven different things on the go and genuinely had no idea what was doing what. Stripped it back to just magnesium glycinate and kept a basic notes app log, sleep quality, mood, nothing fancy. Six weeks later I actually had something useful to say to my GP rather than just a vague "I think it might be helping?" The list for the clinician is such a good idea. x

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

The list for your GP is the most useful thing you've mentioned. I started doing the same after I realised I was describing things vaguely and getting vague answers back. Writing down what I'd tried, roughly when, and whether anything shifted gave the appointment a bit more structure. The phone notes for sleep are a good idea too. Simple works.

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Snap on the timeline idea. I've started doing the same thing because I'd go to the GP and suddenly couldn't remember when anything started. Also the soft scrambled eggs thing, yes. When appetite goes weird I find something small and protein-y is the only thing that doesn't make it worse. Take care x

Jun 14 · Replied to Community post

The notes app before appointments is a really practical thing to flag. I've found the same, going in with something written down means I don't just freeze and say "oh I'm fine" and then walk out having forgotten half of what I wanted to ask. Glad things are moving in a better direction for you.