peri_erica

Okay so. 48 and newly single and I genuinely thought the hard part was going to be the divorce. Turns out the hard part is standing in front of my mirror on a Friday night trying to convince myself I look fine when my body feels like a stranger's. Like... I know this body. I grew up in it. And now it has opinions I didn't ask for, sweats through my good shirt, and apparently does not care that I have a date. I've been walking every morning this week, not for weight or whatever, just because it's the one hour of the day where I feel like myself again. Something about moving before the world starts. I don't know. It helps. I made a note before my last appointment about the stuff I couldn't say out loud easily. The dryness. The thing where I feel zero desire and then suddenly feel like a normal person again for four days and then zero again. My doctor was actually great about it, didn't rush me, which I wasn't expecting. Still figuring out next steps but I felt less invisible after. The date went fine btw. I ate leftover pasta standing over the sink beforehand because apparently that's self-care now. 😂 Trying to feel attractive without faking it. Some days closer than others.

Okay so here's where I'm at. 48, perimenopause, newly single after 14 years, and I went on an actual date last Saturday. I spent the whole week beforehand doing this thing where I'd look in the mirror and just... catalogue everything that's changed. The softer belly. The skin that doesn't quite bounce back. The way I sweat now at completely random moments. And I kept thinking, how do I show up for this man when I barely recognize myself? But here's what happened. I put on the dress I bought on impulse six months ago and never wore. I walked three miles that morning because movement is the one thing that makes me feel like I'm IN my body instead of just stranded in it. I ate something real beforehand so I wasn't running on anxiety and half a granola bar. And I was... fine? Like actually present. Not performing confidence I don't have, not pretending the hot flashes aren't real, just showing up as this slightly flustered, kind of funny, genuinely interesting 48-year-old woman. He texted the next day. I don't know what any of it means yet. But I'm writing this down because I want to remember that I didn't have to pretend. That part felt important. Also I need to actually talk to my doctor about the dryness situation before this goes any further because THAT is a whole other conversation I am not ready to have with a stranger 😅

Jun 20 · Liked post

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Hello everyone. I've been lurking here for a few weeks and I finally feel brave enough to ask this because I genuinely don't know how to handle it. I have a GP appointment coming up and I really want to talk about dryness and some discomfort I've been having, but every time I rehearse it in my head I just... freeze. I'm 59 and I've been with my husband for over thirty years and I still can't seem to say it out loud to a doctor without wanting to disappear into the floor. Which is ridiculous, I know. It's not just dryness either. There's a sort of rawness that comes and goes, and a couple of times I've had what felt like a UTI but the test came back clear, which apparently can be a thing? I read something about that here last week actually. And the libido piece, well. I don't even know where to start with that one. My husband is kind about it but I can tell it's affecting us and I hate that. I've been writing things down so I don't bottle it when I'm actually in the room. Things like: when it started, how often it bothers me, what it feels like, the UTI-type symptoms. I want to ask about local oestrogen because I've seen it mentioned here a lot, but I don't even know if I'm using the right words or whether my GP will just brush past it. Has anyone found a way to bring this up that doesn't feel mortifying? Or even just a way of framing it so the GP takes it seriously? I'd be so grateful. x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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52, perimenopause confirmed last year, been in a demanding job for twenty years and I genuinely cannot work out if what's happening to my brain is hormonal or if I've just finally hit a wall. The thing is, the fog started around the same time the sleep went properly wrong. Not insomnia exactly, more like I wake at 3am completely wired and then drag myself through the day on fumes. By 2pm I'm almost useless. I've started keeping biscuits in my desk which is not ideal but I was getting so desperate I'd have eaten the stapler. I've got a GP appointment next week and I want to actually come prepared for once rather than sitting there going blank (ironic). I want to ask specifically about whether oestrogen affects cognitive function because I've read things but I don't know what's credible and what isn't. And I want to describe what this actually looks like day to day, not just "I feel tired and foggy" which sounds like nothing. So I've been writing it down. Lost a word mid-sentence in a meeting on Monday. Sent an email to the wrong person on Wednesday. Sat in a Teams call and genuinely could not hold the thread of what was being discussed for more than about ninety seconds. That's what I want to hand over. Has anyone managed to have a useful conversation with their GP about this specifically? Not just being told to rest more. An actual conversation about whether hormones could be driving the cognitive stuff? x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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Right so this is a bit of a milestone for me and I'm writing it here because I need to mark it somewhere. I have an appointment with my GP next Thursday. And for the first time in about three years of quietly suffering through what I can only describe as my body becoming a completely alien thing, I have actually written down the symptoms I'm too embarrassed to say out loud in a six-minute appointment. Dryness. Real, uncomfortable, sometimes honestly painful dryness. The fact that intimacy has changed in a way I haven't known how to explain to my husband, let alone a doctor. The UTI-like feelings that come and go. The way I've sort of just... quietly stopped wanting things I used to want, and told myself that was fine, that was just getting older. I wrote it all down on a notes app last night. Took me about twenty minutes because I kept deleting sentences and rewriting them in slightly less mortifying language. But it's there now. I've even got a question about local oestrogen because I read something in a thread here a few weeks ago and it stuck with me. I don't know if anything will come of Thursday. I've been fobbed off before with 'that's just how it is' and I've smiled and nodded and gone home and cried a bit. But having it written down feels like I'm taking myself seriously, even if nobody else does yet. Small step. Enormous for me personally. Just wanted to say it somewhere. x

Jun 19 · Liked post

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Right so I've been putting off writing this for weeks but here we go. I have a GP appointment next Thursday and I genuinely cannot decide how to start the conversation. The thing is every time I go in, I end up talking about the sleep and the hot flushes and the brain fog and by the time we've done all that the appointment is basically over and I've said nothing about the other stuff. The stuff that's actually affecting me and my husband more than I let on. I don't even have the right words for it. Like, how do you say "everything feels different and not in a good way and I'm not sure I recognise my own body anymore" without it sounding dramatic? I've been trying to write it down beforehand which helps a bit. I've seen people mention here that they literally hand their GP a list and I'm thinking I might actually do that this time because left to my own devices I will absolutely chicken out and just nod when she asks if everything else is fine. I've written "dryness, discomfort, not wanting to" on a piece of paper and then folded it up and put it in my bag. Progress I suppose. Has anyone actually managed to have this conversation with their GP without wanting to dissolve into the floor? Did they take it seriously? I'm on the NHS so I know time is short but I'm hoping if I go in with notes she'll understand I've thought about this and I'm not just being dramatic. I'm 49 and I feel like I've been quietly managing this for two years and I'm a bit tired of that now. Any words of wisdom gratefully received. Or just solidarity. Either works x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Got a date on Friday and I'm dreading my own body more than him. That's not normal is it 😩 x

Jun 18 · Liked post

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46 and I have been pretty quiet on here but I need to say this somewhere because I honestly did not think I would feel this much better this fast. Last month I was a wreck. Like genuinely scared of myself. The sleep was shot, the rage was unreal, I cried at a FedEx notification. So yeah. Not great. This past week though. Something shifted. I don't fully understand it and I'm not going to pretend I do. But here's what's different for me personally: I started eating the same breakfast every single morning. Eggs and some kind of grain, sometimes leftover rice, sometimes oats. Nothing fancy. I just stopped making it a decision. That's it. That's the whole breakfast thing. Turns out decision fatigue at 6am was quietly destroying me. Also I have a follow-up with my OBGYN on Thursday and I actually have things to REPORT this time instead of just crying at her. Sleep is more consistent. Mood is less like a live wire. I wrote it all down so I don't blank when she asks how I've been doing. I'm being careful not to get too excited because last time I had a good week I got cocky and then crashed hard. But this feels different. Steadier maybe. If you're in the really dark part right now, I just want you to know I was there like four weeks ago and I'm not there today. That's all I've got. 💛

Jun 18 · Liked post

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Wore the red dress on Saturday. Felt like myself for the first time in ages. Tiny thing but I'm writing it down. x

Jun 17 · Liked post

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Sixty-one years old and my last period was eight years ago. Eight. And I am still up at 3am staring at the ceiling two or three nights a week. I feel like I aged out of the menopause conversation somewhere around year two. Everyone assumes you're through it. The GPs certainly do. When I mentioned the sleep at my last appointment the response was essentially a shrug and a suggestion I try a podcast. A podcast. What I've actually found useful, not advice just my own experience, is the strength training I started eighteen months ago. Two sessions a week with a trainer at the local leisure centre, nothing dramatic. I sleep better on those days. Not perfectly, but better. I think it's the only thing that's genuinely moved the needle and I wish I'd started it years earlier. I've also been trying to eat more protein because I read something about muscle loss after sixty and it frightened me a bit honestly. Eggs most mornings, Greek yogurt, that sort of thing. Whether it's helping I genuinely don't know but it feels like doing something rather than nothing. I have a GP appointment in six weeks and I want to actually ask properly about bone health and heart health this time, not just be fobbed off with the standard you're post-menopause now dear carry on. If anyone has navigated that conversation well I would love to know what worked. What did you actually say to get them to take it seriously? x

Jun 17 · Liked post

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51 and I've started dreading Thursday afternoons more than anything else in my working life, which is saying something because I once had a line manager who ate tuna pasta at his desk every single day. We have a team catch-up at 3pm and I used to be the one who drove those meetings. Came in with ideas, remembered context from weeks back, could hold a whole project in my head. Now I sit there and the words just... go. Not big words, normal ones. Last week I wanted to say "consecutive" and I ended up saying "the ones that come after each other" like I was explaining it to a child. My colleague very kindly filled in the blank. She thought she was being helpful. I wanted to cry in the car park. I don't know if this is peri or just what happens when you've been running on empty for three years. Probably both? My GP has been fine but I've never actually told her how bad it is at work specifically, I've sort of downplayed it because I felt embarrassed. Going to try and write down some actual examples before my next appointment. Not vague "I forget things sometimes" but proper incidents, dates, what I was trying to do. The 3pm crash is its own problem. I've been experimenting with what I eat at lunch because someone in another thread mentioned protein making a difference to the afternoon. Early days but I've switched from whatever sad desk sandwich I was grabbing to something more substantial and I do think the drop isn't quite as brutal? Could be coincidence. Also trying to protect my sleep a bit more rigidly, phone off earlier, no more doom-scrolling at midnight. Whether any of it is actually helping the fog or just making me feel like I'm doing something, I genuinely can't tell yet. Anyone else had to rebuild their confidence at work because of this? I keep second-guessing everything I say in meetings now and that's almost worse than the actual forgetting. x

Jun 17 · Liked post

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39 and I genuinely cannot keep up with what I'm supposed to be taking. Every time I open Instagram I'm apparently deficient in six things and there's a new founder in a white blazer telling me her £65 blend changed her life. I don't doubt she believes it. I just... can't afford to believe everything. What I actually want is someone saying "I tried magnesium glycinate for eight weeks and my sleep went from terrible to slightly less terrible" and that's it. No before and after. No referral code. Just a normal person's normal experience. I've been making a rough list of what I'm already taking (just vitamin D at the moment, from the GP's suggestion) because I want to be honest with my GP next appointment about what's in my system. She's not dismissive but I don't think she knows what I'm seeing online either. Feels important to just... have it written down. The protein thing I've actually found easier than supplements honestly. Eggs at breakfast, that kind of thing. Cheaper. Less confusing. Maybe that's where I'll stay for a while before I add anything else. x

Jun 16 · Liked post

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Right. I've been wanting to write this for weeks and I keep closing the app. Here it is. Intimacy has changed completely and it happened so gradually I didn't even notice until it was just. different. Not a conversation I've managed to have properly with my husband because honestly I don't have the language for it yet. I feel like my body made a decision without consulting me and now I'm supposed to just carry on as normal. I'm not in crisis or anything but I am lonely in a way I didn't expect. Going to write some things down before my next GP appointment because I always go blank in the room. Just needed to say it somewhere that might understand x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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Okay so I went down a rabbit hole at 2am last Tuesday because I couldn't sleep AGAIN and I swear every account I landed on was selling me something. Magnesium for sleep! Ashwagandha for cortisol! This adaptogen blend for brain fog! All with before and after photos and women who look like they just returned from a wellness retreat in Sedona. I'm 48, perimenopause confirmed, and I just want to hear from someone who actually tried ONE thing and noticed something real. Not a transformation. Not a rebrand. Just like... did your sleep get marginally less terrible? Did you stop losing your keys every single morning? I started eating more protein a few weeks ago, genuinely just because someone here mentioned it offhand, and that felt more grounding than anything I'd seen on Instagram. No capsules, no subscribe-and-save. Just eggs and Greek yogurt. I have an appointment with my OB in six weeks and I want to bring her an actual list of what I'm considering so she can tell me if anything conflicts with my other stuff. But right now the list is just question marks and screenshots I don't fully understand. Anyone actually doing this methodically? Like one thing, give it a few weeks, write down whether anything shifted? I need normal stories more than I need another infographic.

Jun 15 · Liked post

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Twenty-nine years married and I honestly thought I knew my own body. Then somewhere around eighteen months ago things just... shifted. Quietly. No fanfare. My husband hasn't said anything unkind, he wouldn't, but I can feel myself pulling away and I hate it. It's not him. It's that it hurts now sometimes, and I don't know how to explain that without making it into a whole thing. I've got a GP appointment booked for next Thursday and I've been trying to write down what I actually want to say, because I know I'll go in there and say "I'm fine, just a bit tired" like I always do. So I'm writing it here first, as practice I suppose. The dryness is real and it's affecting us. There's sometimes a burning sensation afterwards that can last a day or two. Intimacy feels different in a way I can't quite describe, like my body is somewhere else. My confidence has gone sideways in a way I didn't expect. I want to ask specifically about local oestrogen. I've read a bit and I want to know if that's something she'd consider. I want to not be fobbed off with "it's just your age" this time. Also, completely separately, I've been making more effort with food lately, just trying to eat things that don't leave me feeling foggy, more protein, less of the afternoon biscuits, and it genuinely seems to help my energy a bit. Not everything, but something. Anyway. That's more than I've said out loud to anyone. x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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Can I ask something a bit specific. Do your energy crashes come with that slightly sick feeling or is it just me? Mine hit around 2 or sometimes 4 and it's not just tired, there's this weird hollow wobbly thing that goes with it and I've started wondering if it's blood sugar related. I mentioned it to my GP and she did do some bloods which came back fine, but fine doesn't mean I don't feel dreadful every afternoon, does it. What I've noticed, and I'm not saying this fixes it, but on the mornings I have eggs or something actually filling rather than cereal, the afternoon is noticeably less awful. Not gone. Just less. I've been trying to carry that into dinners too, more protein generally, partly because I read something here a few weeks back that stuck with me. Still not consistent enough to know if it's real or wishful thinking but I'm keeping an eye on it. Would be genuinely interested if anyone else has brought this to their GP and got anywhere useful with it.

Jun 15 · Liked post

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Kelly, 57. Been on HRT for nearly nine years now and honestly my joints are the thing nobody asks about and I never quite know how to bring up. Like, I mention the hot flushes at the GP because that's the easy one. I don't mention that my knees feel like wet gravel every morning or that my hands ache after I've been carrying the grandkids' stuff around all afternoon. It's just become the background noise of my life and I've sort of... accepted it? Which I'm not sure is the right thing to do. I started doing a proper walking plan about four months ago, nothing dramatic, just building up distance slowly and going out most days. The knees have actually settled a bit, which surprised me. Or maybe I've just stopped noticing. Hard to tell. What I do want to ask my GP next month, and I'm writing it here so I actually remember to say it out loud, is about staying on HRT long term. I'm 57, I feel better on it than off it, but I've never had a proper conversation about what the ongoing picture looks like for my bones and joints specifically. Every review feels a bit rushed and I always leave thinking I should have pushed harder. Also been trying to eat more protein. Not obsessively, just making sure there's actually something in my lunch other than toast. Feels vaguely sensible. x

Jun 15 · Liked post

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51 and I have got a GP appointment on Thursday and I am already panicking that I will walk in there and forget every single thing I have been struggling with for months. So I am writing it all down now, while I am tired and caffeinated and actually remember how bad it has been. The sleep is the main thing. I keep waking somewhere between 2.30 and 4am and then that is just it, I am awake, mind going ten to the dozen, heart doing a little performance. And then I have to go to work and function like a person. I have been doing a rough note each morning this week, just time I woke up, how anxious I felt, how bad the day was after. Nothing fancy, just so I have something concrete to show her rather than sitting there going "well I don't sleep great". I also want to ask about HRT properly this time. Last appointment I sort of hinted and she moved on and I let her, because I always do that. This time I have actually written it at the top of my notes: ASK ABOUT HRT AND SLEEP. In capitals so I cannot gloss over it. I have been cutting back on wine in the week as well, not because anyone told me to, just noticed it made the 3am thing much worse. Three weeks of mostly not drinking Sunday to Thursday and honestly the nights are... slightly less catastrophic? Still not good but slightly less. Anyone else had to fight a bit to get taken seriously about the sleep stuff? I don't want to go in dramatic but I also don't want to come out with nothing again x

Jun 14 · Liked post

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Okay so I'm not after anyone telling me what to do, genuinely, I just want to know if other people have noticed a difference between the patch and the gel in terms of how hot they actually get. Like the physical heat of a flush. Because I've been keeping this slightly obsessive little temperature diary since January (yes I know) and when I look back at the weeks I was trialling one versus the other there does seem to be a pattern in my flush frequency but I honestly can't tell if that's real or if I'm just finding shapes in clouds. The diary thing started because my GP kept saying "how often are you having them" and I'd just go blank. Every time. So now I write it down. Morning, afternoon, night, how bad on a rough scale of one to three, whether I woke up or not. It's quite a lot of paper. Also I've started eating differently in the evenings, cooler stuff, less faff, mostly salads and cold things because I can't face cooking when I already feel like a radiator. Whether that's doing anything I have no idea but at least dinner isn't making it worse. Anyway. Patch or gel. That's all I'm really wondering about. Not what I should do, just what other people noticed. x

Jun 13 · Liked post

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Denise, 48. Genuinely embarrassed to be writing this but here we are. My periods have gone completely feral. I used to be a 28-day clockwork woman. Now I genuinely don't know when it's coming, how long it'll last, or whether I'll need to double up on everything or nothing at all. Last month I bled for eleven days. The month before, five. I've started keeping a little calendar on my phone just so I can show my GP something concrete because I know if I go in and say "it's been unpredictable" she'll nod and send me away. The exhaustion that comes with it is the bit I wasn't prepared for. I'm dragging myself through the school run on the worst days and just... functioning on the bare minimum. I've also started writing down what I actually eat on heavy days because I read something about iron and I've been trying to have lentil soup or spinach with eggs when I can manage it. Whether it helps I genuinely couldn't say but it feels like doing something rather than just suffering. GP appointment next week. I want to go in with actual dates and patterns, not just a vague feeling. Anyone been in a similar position before their appointment? Did the specifics actually make a difference to how you were heard? x

Jun 13 · Liked post

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Right. So I have a GP appointment in ten days and I am determined not to walk in there, get asked how I am, say "fine" and walk out with nothing. Because that is what I did last time. And the time before. The problem is the thing I actually need to talk about is the thing I cannot seem to say out loud. Dryness. Pain. The fact that intimacy has quietly become something I dread rather than want, and I don't know when that happened. My husband hasn't said anything. He's kind. But I can feel the distance and I know it's coming from me and I hate it. I've been trying to write it down this week. Not for anyone else. Just so I have the words ready and don't sit in that chair going blank. So far my list says things like "discomfort during sex" and "feels like a UTI sometimes but isn't" and "libido basically gone" and honestly just typing those words here felt like a lot. I'm 46. Postmenopausal. I know there are options. I've read enough late-night Google sessions to know I should be asking about local oestrogen. But knowing and actually saying it to a GP who might look slightly bored or mildly surprised or just hand me a leaflet about lubricants... that's the bit I'm bracing for. Not asking anyone to fix this. Just needed to say it somewhere that wouldn't make me feel like I was being dramatic. If anyone else has written stuff down before an appointment and it actually helped, I'd love to know. x

Jun 13 · Liked post

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Polly, 50. I keep going round in circles on this and I genuinely don't know where to land. I've been exhausted and foggy for the best part of two years and my brain just... isn't the same. Words disappear mid-sentence. I'll be in a meeting and lose the thread of what I was saying while I'm actually saying it. Last week I called our head of comms by the wrong name. I've worked with her for four years. But here's the thing. I also work full time, I've got two teenagers who between them have the emotional regulation of a pair of wasps, my mum had a health scare last spring, and I haven't had a proper night's sleep since roughly 2019. So is this perimenopause or is my brain just... full? Burnt through? I've started going to bed at the same time every night regardless, even weekends, because someone on here mentioned sleep routine ages ago and I thought fine, I'll try it, I've tried everything else. It's only been a few weeks. Hard to say yet. What I do know is that I want to go to my GP with something more concrete than "I feel a bit dim". So I've been writing things down. Actual examples. Forgot the word for "invoice" in a client call. Sent the same email twice. Couldn't follow the thread of a document I wrote myself six months ago. That kind of thing. I want to ask whether any of this is hormonal or whether I'm just a knackered middle-aged woman who needs a holiday. Both could be true I suppose. That's what's so maddening about all of this. x

Jun 22 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm US and came late to strength training too, different context but same standing-there-pretending energy. Girl, the awkward phase is so real and it does pass. The protein shift was the thing that surprised me most, I felt it within a few weeks. Keep going!

Jun 21 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm in the US so slightly different setup but the embarrassment is universal, trust me 😩 I literally texted my symptoms to myself and read from my phone in the appointment because I knew I'd freeze otherwise. Whatever gets the words out. Rooting for you!

Jun 21 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm US and on estradiol patches so slightly different context, but the summer adhesion thing is REAL. I've had a few just... peel. My OBGYN suggested rotating sites and that helped a lot. The logging your hot flashes idea is so smart, I wish I'd done that before my first appointment instead of just saying "a lot" and hoping for the best 😂 solidarity from across the pond!

Jun 21 · Replied to Community post

The "vague worry for two years and doing nothing" is me with about six different things right now. There's something almost relieving about a result that makes you act? Like the worry was worse than having the actual information. The cheese news is genuinely the highlight of this post for me 😂

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Okay this is giving me courage for a conversation I've been avoiding with my OBGYN for literally months. The writing it down so you don't have to say it out loud part, that's the bit I needed. I always think I'll be fine and then I just... deflect. Bookmarking this whole post.

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Okay so this made me tear up a little. "Present. Like someone who was actually there and not hiding." I've been putting off dating because I don't feel like myself in my own body anymore and you just kind of... reframed the whole thing for me. The scrambled eggs at 10pm is also extremely relatable and I respect it deeply.

Jun 20 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm US so ignore anything that doesn't apply but the rewriting symptoms in less mortifying language is SO universal. I've done that. We all do that. The fact that you kept the real words in is the whole thing. Sending so much solidarity for Thursday.

Jun 19 · Replied to Community post

Okay I'm cooking for one so slightly different but, soft boiled eggs on toast with everything bagel seasoning and I feel like I'm at a brunch place. Takes 8 minutes. Protein. Done. For a crowd maybe scale up with a big frittata? Same energy, way less effort than it sounds.

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Okay this post. The notes app thing is SO real, I do the exact same thing because the second I'm in the room I turn into a person who is apparently completely fine and has no concerns whatsoever. The dryness and the detachment and the libido stuff, I've had to basically read mine off my phone like a script. No shame in that. Also the pasta for four thing made me laugh and also kind of ache a little. You're not alone in the starting-over-while-your-body-is-also-starting-over thing. It's genuinely a lot.

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm 48 and still in the thick of peri but I'm bookmarking this post because this is EXACTLY what I'm scared of. That I'll get through the chaos and then... still not sleep?? The strength training thing though. I started walking consistently a few months ago and it genuinely does something to my sleep on those days. Not a cure but like, a notch better. I believe you. Also "wet cardboard" is the most accurate description of perimenopause exhaustion I have ever read 😂

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Okay so the green dress at Sainsbury's made me tear up a little?? Because I KNOW that feeling. The invisible thing. I've been there. I'm still partly there. But you went out in green and a stranger saw you. That counts for so much more than you're giving it credit for. Also writing it down before your appointment is genuinely the best idea, I do the same thing or I just nod and say "I'm fine" and walk out having said nothing real 😂 rooting for you hard.

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Oh honey, this is SO normal and also so unfair. I went on a second date last spring and spent more energy worrying about whether I was dry or sweaty or bloated than I did thinking about whether I actually liked the guy. Which... says a lot. You deserve to feel at home in yourself. Sending love for Friday 💛

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Okay this made me smile so big. The red dress! Yes. Write ALL of it down, the tiny things are the real things. I've been trying to do the same, just noticing when I feel like myself instead of waiting for some big transformation. It adds up. You looked great, I just know it.

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I'm not UK so my setup is different but THIS. The thing where you go in with one thing and leave having talked about literally anything else. I started keeping voice memos actually, just rambling into my phone when it was bad. Turned those into bullet points before my OBGYN appointment. Felt ridiculous but it meant I actually said the real stuff. Solidarity from across the water.

Jun 18 · Replied to Community post

Okay so this post. I needed this today. 48 and divorced and I have been telling myself nobody does this at our age and here you are proving me wrong. The blood sugar thing is SO real, I kept thinking I was just nervous but no, I had literally not eaten. Wishing you the absolute best Friday. Report back please 😊

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I am not as far along as you but I am 48, divorced two years ago, and the idea of dating while my body is doing whatever THIS is... I feel this post in my bones. The hot flashes alone. I kept thinking, do I just casually mention it on a first date or do I just sweat mysteriously and hope he thinks it's the restaurant? You got through dinner. That's genuinely huge. And writing stuff down before your OBGYN or GP appointment is the smartest thing, I always forget everything the second I sit down in that room.

Jun 17 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I am 48 and divorced and I nearly teared up reading this. A man asked for your number!! At a jazz night!! That is genuinely the most romantic thing I've read in months. The terror makes complete sense but also... you went. You were there. You did the thing. Please text him back. Or don't, no pressure. But maybe text him back 😂

Jun 16 · Replied to Community post

Girl, the "hinting and letting her move on" thing is SO relatable. I do it every single time. Writing it at the top in caps is honestly genius, I'm stealing that for my next appointment. Rooting for you!

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Okay this made me tear up a little. The red top!! I have a dress doing the same thing in my closet and I keep walking past it. The "logging it" framing is so much gentler than "comeback" and I think that's exactly why it works. Stealing this idea immediately.

Jun 15 · Replied to Community post

Okay so I am 48 and also back out there after divorce and THIS POST. The clammy unpredictable body thing is so real. I've started mentally building in a "buffer hour" before any date just to see how I'm actually feeling. Some nights I'm like yes, I got this. Other nights absolutely not. The morning walk thing you mentioned, I do something similar and it genuinely does something. Good luck with your GP, I hope they actually listen to the whole picture not just the physical checklist. Sending love 💛